All Of You

seventeen || blame it all on the alcohol

V I O L E T

I WAKE UP IN MIGUEL'S ARMS. Well on his chest to be exact. This is the second time I wake up in his room, with a massive hangover, only this time I'm in his arms and I want to be here.

Last night's events come crashing down into me like a train.

   Shots. I kissed a girl. Attempted to get naked for Miguel. Made out with Miguel. Tried to seduce Miguel.

Oh my God!

What makes it worse, I can't entirely blame it all on the alcohol because I wanted to do that. I just never have the balls to do crazy shit like that. But now that I'm wide awake and sober, my mind hasn't changed.

I want him.

On me. Under me. Inside me.

Oh fuck. What's wrong with me?

   Life is too short to go around tip toeing. If I want something I should be able to reach out and grab it. And there's no need to continue lying to myself. I have wanted him since the moment, I saw him. I'm not a child anymore, I'm not even a virgin. So why postpone the inevitable?

   Sex is a natural thing. I shouldn't see it like a bad thing for me just wanting a hook up or even if it evolves into more. He's been pretty blunt with me about what he wants so I should be able to do the same.

   We have great chemistry and I love his personality. He's respectful and funny. It would be the perfect arrangement. We won't force anything. Just let it take it's course.

   Oh my God. I'm such a loser.

   Why can't I just be cool? Without overthinking.

   Even if I was to fall in love. I mean nobody dies from heartbreak right?

   Miguel's breathing is even and he looks so peaceful. His bare chest right under my cheek. And his muscles. Oh how I love all his muscles. I begin tracing his chest and stomach tattoos with my fingers. His skin is hot and firm.

   Carefully I manage to untangle myself from his arms and hop off the bed. I go to his bathroom and find a brand new toothbrush on the counter. I'm guessing he left that for me last night.

   I glance behind me, towards him but he's still asleep. I shut the bathroom door so I don't wake him up with the faucet noises.

   First, I grab a cotton ball and remove all my makeup off with his man lotion. I have some smeared eyeliner under my eyes and my lashes are barely hanging on.

   This can't be the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes.

   After all my makeup is off, I wash my face and brush my teeth. Since only men live in this house, I won't be finding any girl products or brushes anywhere, so I settle by running my fingers through my hair.

   As soon as I open the bathroom door, Miguel begins to stir. I tip toe back to the bed and very slowly slide back in the covers.

   Okay, now I'm starting to freak out. What will he say about me making a move on him when he wakes up?

   Hopefully not too much since he did kiss me back and well didn't seem to bothered at all by me shoving my tongue in his mouth.