Everything's Not Okay

Probably Not

When I walked to the dorms he was already there. I waved Sero and Bakugou off before dragging Shinsou to the kitchen. I look around before sighing. I look up at Shinsou, waiting for whatever he wanted to tell me. He looks down at me unsure before taking a breath in.

"Denki you've been off these past couple of days, I don't know what's wrong... is it me? You haven't been responding to any of my texts or calls an-" He's doing that anxious thing where he rubs at his neck. 

"Wait, you don't know?" Does he not know about the traitor situation?

"Don't know what" He doesn't know about the traitor situation. He doesn't know about the traitor situation. 

"I- let's go up to my room then." More of the class is coming back from school. I don't want them telling him anything, especially if he doesn't know about it already.

"Okay?" He raises his eyebrow but doesn't say anything when I grab his wrist. I lead us out the kitchen and to elevator. I tap my foot impatiently. What's taking it so long. Shinsou looks like he wants to say something when I look back at him but I just smile and look away. 

"Shinsou?" I hold my breath at the sound of Jirou's voice. I don't look behind me but I can tell Shinsou does. He's going to answer her but I tug his arm instead.

"come on, let's go." I whisper before walking away from the elevator. We'll just take the stairs. This is fine. This is fine.

My breathing picks up at the thought of what she'd say to him. What if she tells him about her suspicions of me being the traitor? What if he sides with her? All Might, what if he believes her?

When we get to my room I pull Shinsou inside before letting go of his arm. I turn to lock the door, pressing my forehead on the cold wood. Should I even be having this conversation right now?

"Denki what is going on?" I still at his question. What do I even tell him? What can I tell him? That this was some big understanding? That half of my classmates hate me and want me put in jail? That the kids are upset with me and haven't talked to me in days? That I've been avoiding them? That I got help from Hawks while I leave them in the dark? That Dad tells me how I remind him of Mom more and more? There's so much I want to say, but so little I can say. He'll hate me if I say anything like that. It's pretty pathetic to hear how all that's good about you is your body. That you can't even protect your siblings. 

All Might I don't even want to be here anymore.

"She's just really pissed off at me at the moment." I laugh it off. "It's nothing to worry about, I have it handled!" 

I just want someone to tell me everything will be okay. That the kids will get adopted into safe and loving families. And I wouldn't have to go home every weekend. I hope dad gets the help he needs. I don't know how much longer I can do this for. 

"There's more isn't there?" 

"I want to tell you I swear I do, but it just happened and I don't think I'm ready to retell it without breaking down and crying or something." I end up laughing and he just stares with wide eyes.

"Denki do you want to tell a teacher or something, this seems serious." He walks over to me where I'm leaning against the door. I close my eyes when I feel his hand on my cheek.

"It's fine, they already know." I smile.

"They do?"

"Mmhm." I relax into his hand before popping back up. "What is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"oh."

"Is it something bad?"

"I don't think so, no."