Everything's Not Okay

Its Fair

Hawks is oddly a deep sleeper. Him and Ethan don't wake up to anything, which is a little concerning but it's good for me now. All I have to do is go back to the house and get some of my stuff. I don't have much there anyways, just a few clothes if I ever slept at the house and some money. That is if Dad didn't find it. He found the last stash I had and took it. That was a month of hell since I couldn't pay for the heating. It's fine though I pushed through it and I can push through this too. Hawks is letting me stay here for the time being. I can't be a burden here too.  I have to help him with anything he needs. It's only fair.

Ethan already left to Mr. Sho. Hawks saw him off when I was asleep but he must've fell back asleep because he's knocked out on the couch. He let Ethan and I sleep in his bed since he hasn't brought a bed for him yet. I felt bad but he said it wouldn't have been comfortable with his wings anyway so that's what I'm hoping.

On the way back I could get some groceries and make Hawks and Ethan a dinner. No offense to him but I'm pretty sure Hawks can't cook for shit.

"bye hawks." I whisper before closing the door. I left him a note on his refrigerator which I'm hoping he sees. He'd have to eat before his patrol right? yeah.

The walk home isn't a long one. If anything I'd think it's shorter than before. I was hoping to arrive later. He could be home.  Hawks told me he didn't want me to see him again unless it was with him but I lied. I told him he wasn't home today.  It's fine. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.

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I hear the window open and a small breeze comes through. I'm sitting on the middle of my bed. All alone. But not anymore.

"Sitting by yourself in the dark? Pathetic isn't it?" He laughs before walking towards the bed. I hear him drop his jacket and feel the bed dip. "Why so quiet? Thought you'd love to see me."

I glance at him wearily. I'm too tired for this.

"I'm tired. Can we not?" I ask. I can see his eyebrow raise before I turn my attention to something else.

"Okay? Did you just want to lay down?" He brushes through my feathers and I feel him tense once he touches a freshly cut one. "What did you do."

"They called. I don't want to talk about it."

"okay."

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He was asleep. Or so I thought.

"So you don't show up when you're supposed to and you think you can just sneak back in without saying a word to me?" He was there when I left my room. He was standing right outside it. Practically caging me in.

"I didn't mean to sir. I'm really sorry for causing you to worry." I bow my head. The grip on my bag tightens. He didn't take the money I hid, but if he goes looking through my bag now then he'd definitely take it.

"Me? Worried about a pathetic little thing like you? That's hilarious. Even I cared more for your mother and she was a downright whore. But you're more beautiful than she was." was? He steps closer to me to brush my cheek. I rest my face to his palm. "I suppose I can forgive you. But you'd have to tell me where you were. Come on, tell your Dad." His unclipped jagged nails poke at my skin. He drags them down my face before grabbing my chin and pulling my face up. When I look at his face I immediately tense. His eyes are focused and piercing. His patch of hair is cut and he no longer has his scuff of a beard. His blackish grey hair is still somewhat long yet it looks washed and it's pulled back into a ponytail. He's even wearing his glasses again. It's a thin grey rectangle pair that I've only seen him wear whenever he's sober. He's sober. He looks like the pictures. He looks like his age, young.