𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐃𝐒, b.

[̲̅e][̲̅l][̲̅e][̲̅v][̲̅e][̲̅n] - how do you smell like outside?

THIS STORY HAS JUST REACHED #22 IN BILLIE AND #91 IN XXXTENTACION! SKFJAKHSKFHKSHJHF

[̲̅j][̲̅a][̲̅h][̲̅s][̲̅e][̲̅h][̲̅p][̲̅o][̲̅v]

i walk out of the front doors of the hotel, adjusting my chain.

the last thing i wanted to do was leave billie by herself, and honestly, i did want to take her with me, but i'm trying to be focused on the task at hand. if i brought her with me i'd want to do nothing but spend time with her, so i eliminated the distraction before she even got her hopes up for coming with me.

it made me a little sad to leave her, yes, but she'll be okay. she's a tough girl.

it's a little hard for me to admit, but there's no way i can deny it. my feelings for her are growing stronger and stronger every day.

i promised myself that i wouldn't get attached to someone that was already broken, because it would reset all the progress i've made on myself, and i'd use all my efforts to build that person back up again, completely neglecting myself and all my needs.

i don't really like to use the term "broken" to describe billie, but in all honesty, that's what she is. she's not whole, and i can see it in her face. i can see it in her eyes. i can see it in the way she carries herself. yeah she's free spirited, and she can be happy for the most part, but i can see right through her. there's a huge void in her, where her peace and serenity has been ripped out of her body and forced back in again. because life moves on, right?

i shake my head at the thought, directing my attention back to the here and now, maneuvering around people.

i'm going to try my best to attempt to get a job. it doesn't have to be an actual one, i can do odd jobs. this isn't really for me to get money, because i have plenty of it. it's just that, i need to give myself something to do so that i'm not with billie 24/7. we're both teenagers with hormones, and i'm sure you know what i'm trying to say.

and although i'd love to fuck- have sex with billie, we all know about her traumatic past, and i don't want to accidentally overstep a boundary. because we all know that i'm the king of overstepping boundaries and pushing limits as far as i can. and me being together with her all hours of the day is only going to make the sexual tension greater. and like i said, i don't want to put myself in that situation especially if i wouldn't be able to control myself.

i brush through people, keeping my hands in my pockets. i look around for any potential job opportunities, like a mom and pop shop, a fast food joint, or something of the sort.

i bump into someone. "sorry about that, my bad." i say sincerely. "oh don't worry, it's okay." the woman waves me off, continuing about her way. i reach in my pocket and pull out the wallet i just swiped from her, opening it and smiling.

full of cash, only one card.

i take the cash for myself and close the wallet, tossing it to the side. as much as i want to use her card, i don't want to be thrown in jail for fraud, but even worse, i don't want to be tracked, and risk billie being found.

i walk absentmindedly, just letting my eyes wander around until i spot a "help needed" sign, and i make a beeline there without even looking at the storefront.

i walk into the place, and look around at souvenirs, t-shirts, a small ice cream bar, and thousands of other trinkets.

a gift shop.

well i guess this isn't so bad.

a woman is at the cash register, pressing some buttons on it, and there are a few people shopping around. i make my way to the woman at the cash register, and try my hardest not to look too intimidating.