My Medicine {A.I}

16

Kayleigh

My birthday is in a few days, and I'm so excited. I'm gonna be 20! Being 20 doesn't really mean anything to be honest, but I just love birthdays. I'm probably just going to celebrate with Finley and Amber since they're really the only people I know. I would celebrate with Ashton, Luke, Calum and Michael if they were here. But they're not. 
I miss Ashton more and more each day, though everyday is one day closer to him coming home. We haven't talked much lately because he's been so busy and the different time zones. That's the hardest part, time zones. I never know if it's morning or night where he is so I can't just call him. I do send him little text messages here and there, plus occasional pictures or videos of Sheeran. Ashton doesn't normally respond until late, and when I respond I assume he's sleeping. It's so hard. But he'll be home soon and I just can't wait. 
I haven't received any messages from Richard or Dylan in a while, so I left Finley's about a week after I "moved in" there. I thanked her and Amber about a million times because I really did appreciate everything they did for me, and I don't think they'll ever know how much it meant to me. They finally settled on a date for the wedding; May 13th which is exactly 6 months from my birthday. I'm really excited, I know they're both going to look absolutely beautiful. They don't have any other plans yet. I offered to help them because how hard can it be to plan a wedding? They turned my offer down, but that's okay. I understand. 

"I miss youuu," Ashton whined into the camera. I smiled and turned over on my bed towards the light. "I miss you too." Ashton and I have been Face-Timing for the last hour. It's 3 in the morning, but I'm hardly tired. "Two more months, babe." He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. I nodded, giving a weak smile. "How are the guys?" I asked, quickly changing the subject so I won't be so upset. "They're good, hah. Sleeping at the moment, but they're good." Ashton spoke tiredly, rubbing his eyes. "You tired?" I questioned, standing up to get a drink. He mumbled a quiet response but opened his eyes wide to keep himself awake. "You can go to bed if you want, what time is it?" I poured myself a glass of sweet tea then went back to my bedroom, Sheeran following right behind. "It's only 9 o'clock. How about you, what time is it there?" I looked over at my alarm and groaned, "Almost 4 a.m." I softly laughed and lay down on the bed. 
Ashton and I stayed on Face-Time until 5 o'clock before he passed out on  me. But I understand, he's working hard. He should get proper sleep and be relaxing on his time off, not staying up late on Face-Time with his long distance girlfriend. I ended up falling asleep shortly after our call ended, but woke up a few hours later to my phone ringing obnoxiously. Caller I.D said 'Don't Answer (R)' Which was Richard's contact. I pressed the end button before rolling back over to sleep, but he kept calling. I groaned loudly and answered, "What the hell do you want?" I grumpily spoke, rubbing my eyes. "Hey now, you little bitch. Don't get a fucking attitude," He slurred but I'm used to his bluffs. "Or what?" I hissed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. "Or I'll fucking beat you to a pulp." A voice spoke from my doorway. There stood Richard, drunk off of his ass. My eyes widened, how the hell did he get in here? 
"You got even hotter since the last time I saw you," His voice was very rough and deep, sending chills up my spine. Richard had ended our call once I spotted him, so when he wasn't looking I dialed Ashton's number. Richard was telling me stories about how he loved to "fuck me" and "watch the look of horror on my face." What a fucking prick. While he was rambling on, I heard the quiet voice of Ashton's voice-mail. Shit. "What is that?" He stopped talking and ran at me, looking for my phone. Once he tore it from my grasp, he hung up immediately and screamed in my face. "What the FUCK?" His voice startled me, and caused me to tremble with fear. 
"What? You're scared?" Richard laughed, twirling a strand of hair around his finger. The alcohol on his breath was horrid, I wanted to vomit. "Stop," I smacked his finger off, and he literally growled. "Who do you think you are?" His large build towered over me, but I was so pissed off by now. "Who do you think you are? You come into my apartment at 7 in the fucking morning drunk off your ass. I don't ever want to see you again. So get the fuck out of my apartment before I call the police." Venom was apparent in every word I spat, but he didn't even flinch. Instead, he lifted his larger hand and slapped me across the face. Surprisingly, I was shocked. "I'm gonna fucking kill you." He seethed, tackling me onto my own bed and wrapping his hands around my neck, squeezing with much force. 
I smacked him pinched him, punched him and tried to scream but he wouldn't budge. His hands tightened every minute and I started to fear that he was going to follow through with his threat and actually kill me. But to my surprise, his hands just let go. He didn't necessarily stop though, he just started beating on me. Several punched landed on my face, my hair was pulled, my stomach was pinched and scratched at. I couldn't breathe, so it was hard to fight him off. He was too strong for me, and eventually knocked me unconscious.

I woke up to a pounding headache, and a sore body. Richard was nowhere to be seen; my apartment was silent. My entire body feels like it was set on fire, then put out with a bag of rocks. I recognized my bedroom as I looked around, but when I looked into the full body mirror I didn't recognize myself. My face was completely swollen and covered with blood and bruises. "Oh god," I choked out before breaking down into tears. I cried harder when I realized how bad it hurt to cry. Who the hell is that? That cannot be me. As the sobs racked through my chest, I thought of Ashton. I thought of how much fun he is having while I'm basically laying in my death bed. I wanted nothing more than to die right now. How am I going to recover from this? I can't breathe, I can't move, I can hardly see, and I'm just in so much pain. As I lay in my bed, unable to move, I prayed to God for my death to come.
"Please just kill me," I begged.

"It hurts so much, please make it stop." I pleaded.

"Just let me die," I prayed.

"Please, please." I cried.

I want to die. 
I'm sorry Ashton.