My Medicine {A.I}

17

Kayleigh

I haven't showered in 3 days. I haven't eaten in 3 days. I haven't spoken in 3 days. I haven't slept in 3 days. I haven't worked in 3 days. I've hardly moved in 3 days. The only reason I get up is to feed Sheeran or use the bathroom, then I'm back in bed staring at the cream colored wall. I could hear my phone ringing nonstop for the past 3 days, but I haven't answered it. I've heard people knocking at my door for the past 3 days but I haven't answered it. I know it's Finley and/or Amber because who else cares about me? No one.
I'm starving, and dehydrated. I smell of sweat, body odor and tears. My entire body is still bruised and sore and I feel like I could pass out at any second. I wonder if this is what it feels like to be dying. 
As I was staring at my bedroom wall, I wondered what it would be like to be painless. To be numb. I wondered if I would be happy again if I could somehow take this pain away. My mind began to fill with ideas and things that would work. But nothing seemed appealing except one. One thing that was a big part of my past and I struggled with for years. Cutting.  The thought made me smirk to myself, because I know this will work. This will definitely help me forget about Richard and what he did to me. I'll forget the bruises on my body, and the ache I feel every time I move. 

I sat on my bathroom floor with a broken razor in my hand, contemplating whether I should do this or not. Who am I kidding? I need this. I grabbed one of the with my left hand, and rolled up my left sleeve with my right hand. The skin broke so easily, and I watched the crimson flow out from the wound. A sigh came from my lips and my head fell back against the wall. Once the numbness started to fade, I drew my hand back and 1, 2 , 3 , 4 more slits were placed across my wrist. 
The pleasant sting I felt was what I've missed. I looked down at my arm and reveled in the amount of blood being produced. 5 more cuts and I'll be done. Maybe I'll even shower. Or eat something. After the last 5 were placed on my arm, I leaned back against the wall and just stared at the blood, suddenly feeling nervous. I felt my heartbeat quickening, and just had a feeling something bad was going to happen. Why am I feeling this way? 'Maybe because you just cut yourself 10 times,' My subconscious reminded me and I groaned, standing up to wash myself off. 
But it was too late. 
I heard my front door crash open, and rapid footsteps approaching my room. "Kayleigh!" Several voices shouted, and my heart dropped. One voice was deep and very distinct. Ashton! Before I had time to comprehend anything, the bathroom door was ripped open and suddenly the shouting, yelling and panicking had come to a halt. "Kay," Ashton's voice was barely a whisper and his eyes were glued on the blood dripping down my arm. I looked at everyone in front of me: Ashton, Calum, Luke, Michael, Finley and Amber. All of their eyes were on the blood too. 
"I'm sorry," I got out before falling to the ground and sobbing for the first time since Richard attacked me. 
Ashton was the first to help me. He scooted underneath me, and held me tight as I cried into his chest. Finley got a wet wash cloth and cleaned my wrist up, while Amber cleaned up the stained floor. Luke and Michael looked for band aids, but Calum just stood there watching everything happen. He stared at Ashton as he rocked my disgusting body back and forth, he watched Finley hold the cloth to my wrist as she waited for a band aid, and he watched Amber scrub the bathroom floor. No one said anything for the time being. 
After I was bandaged up, Ashton told everyone to wait in the living room while he got me cleaned up. I knew he was going to talk to me about what happened, but I didn't want to talk. I didn't ever want to tell anyone what happened. But I was wrong. Instead, he walked out of the bathroom and came back a second late with some clothes. He sat them on the sink before running the tub. I watched as he took his top and bottoms of, leaving him in his boxers. And he never spoke and he grabbed my hand and started to strip me of my filth. Once I was completely bare, he pulled his boxers off and we stepped into the bath together. 
He never said one word as he lathered the shampoo in my hair, or tilted my head back and covered my face as he used the shower head to rinse my hair. Even as he used a loofah to wash my body, not a single word was spoken. After he cleaned my entire body, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me so my back was pressed against his chest, even then he was silent.
Ashton grabbed two towels from under my sink, and wrapped one around his waist. He took the other and dried me off before wrapping my hair up with it. He then grabbed my clothes from the sink and carefully put them on me. I watched as he put his own outfit on, and admired him. He didn't have to say anything, but his actions showed how much he cared for and loved me. My heart swelled and tears flooded my eyes at the amount of love I have for him. As we walked to my bedroom, he motioned for me to sit on the bench I have in front of my vanity as he tore my blankets, sheets, and pillows off of my bed. He walked to the closet to grab a new sheet and some pillowcases, then proceeded to change them. When he was done, he patted the bed and I slowly made my way to him. I crawled up into the bed and wrapped myself up with my blanket. I was hoping he would lay next to me, and cuddle me until we both fell asleep, but I knew there were still people in the living room waiting on him. Ashton pressed his lips to my forehead before rubbing his thumb under my eye. "Get some sleep, I love you." He whispered before turning the light out and closing my bedroom door. 

Ashton 

 "Get some sleep, I love you." I whispered before turning the light out and closing Kayleigh's bedroom door. 
I sighed as I made my way to the living room where Calum, Luke, Michael, Finley and Amber were all sat probably worried out of their minds. "How is she?" "Is she okay?" "What happened?" "Why would she do that to herself?" I was bombarded with questions as soon as I was in sight. "She's okay now. She's gonna need some rest though, so I think everyone should just leave and come back tomorrow," I spoke solemnly, still trying to process what happened. Finley pulled my in for a hug before saying, "I'm sorry Ash, text me when she wakes up." I nodded and she gave a weak smile before grabbing Amber's hand and leaving the apartment. "You guys can crash next door," I told the boys before giving them the key to my apartment. "Just please don't be too loud," I begged and they nodded. "Text me, dude. Let us know how she's doing." Michael said, patting me on the back before leaving with Calum and Luke. 
Now I'm left here alone with my thoughts. Why would she do that to herself? What happened? Why didn't she answer the phone when I called? Why didn't she answer the door when Amber came to check on her? Is she okay? Does she need help? Does she still love me? Are my fans mad at us for cancelling the rest of our tour? 
I knew something was wrong when she hadn't answered the phone all day. And when Amber told me she didn't answer the door either, I had to take action. Something bad happened and I had a gut feeling. 
I hope Kayleigh is going to be okay. I hope she will recover from this.
Tomorrow is her birthday and I have no idea what to do. I guess I could make her breakfast, and just lay in bed with her all day. I know she won't want to talk about what happened yet, and she definitely won't want to go out anywhere. 
I walked to her bedroom and saw her sound asleep. Kayleigh looks so peaceful. Definitely a new look from her appearance earlier. The blood dripping down her wrist is imprinted in my mind and I just want to cry and hold her forever. At the same time, I want to kiss her all over and make love to her and show her how much I care. As I lay next to her, she automatically curled up next to me and wrapped her arm around my waist. 
"I love you," The words had a natural flow to them and I will never grow tired of saying them. Kayleigh Finn Miller means the world to me.