Racing Desires

16. Nurse

Kiara's POV:

What did I expect? That guy has a huge business to take care of. Besides he hardly slept. Of course he couldn't just stay here all day with me.

The door opens shortly later and a male nurse comes in with my lunch. It's not that often you see a male nurse and honestly, he's quite handsome too. Even if nothing in comparison to Dean. Then again, no one can keep up with him.

"Ehm do you think I could have something against the pain again?" I know yesterday I refused, but only because I didn't want Dean to catch on, how bad I was really feeling.

"Sure you still have the IV anyway and the doctors have put painkillers on your plan. I'll just go and get some."

"Thanks", I try and give him a polite smile.

Due to the painkillers and the bit of lunch I managed to get down I feel a bit better, fairly quickly. Which only leads me to think about things even more. Everything that happend yesterday and the evening before which lead to me being here. About all the things my dad used to say to me.

Damn my mind keeps on spiraling now, without any possibility of distraction.

There's not a time I could recall, where he didn't call me useless and weak, even stupid. When I skipped two classes, mum got a decent beating that night only because the teacher had called and thanked for their support and signature. A signature I had forged.

At that point I had decided for myself only being the best was good enough. It would be the only way to get out of my hell. So I fought for myself.

They never cared about my education anyway. Well surprise hey, why would they care about my education, if they didn't even care about feeding me? When my dad had found out, I had signed up for college, he smashed half my bedroom that night. Although he didn't have to pay a penny, he kept repeating college wasn't something for a useless stupid brat like me. That it was just a waste of money.

He even tried to forbid me to go. Not knowing I had already been jobbing and racing illegal at that point, he had no idea I had enough money to pay for the dorm. When it was time for college I simply left a note with his booze on the kitchen table and left.

That was the first time I left home and if it hadn't been for the break up with Brad, I would have never moved back. Sometimes I used to visit them, just to make sure they were ok and had food and everthing. Not once did they ask me, how I was keeping.

I don't think they even realize I have a diploma and have been working hard all along. I worked my way up. No one helped me, but even more so was I proud about what I had achieved. Achieved completely on my own.

When Dean last week was judging me being a spoiled brat, either sleeping my way up or only being there due to my daddy, I felt the bail rise in me. I know I'm feisty and I didn't take his assult without reacting towards it.

But boy I felt like chopping his balls off and feeding them to the next hungry dog or whatever. With those words he triggered everything in me and keeping my temper at bay was nearly impossible. Good job I had training all those years and knew how to stand up to it. And still it hurt like hell at the same time.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's up? Are you so badly in pain", a voice interrupts my thoughts.

I hadn't even noticed how hard I was sobbing and had pulled my knees up against my chest until this voice interrupted me, pulled me out of my spiral for a moment. Steven, my nurse, comes rushing over to me. "Shall I get the doctor?"

Shaking my head I answer. "Nope, he can't help me with this. No one really can. My life is simply fucked up. Well sort of anyway" I sob loudly.

"Want to talk?"