Dean's POV:
The hot water runs down my tense muscles. What the hell is going on? What is Kiara doing to me?
My hands brush over my face and through my hair as if that would help to sort my mind out. My mind which is being tortured over and over again. This girl is totally consuming my thoughts. God, I knew there's more between us, I knew I wanted her and more than just sex.
I mean the sex is unbelievable, she takes me to a place and levels I didn't even know exist. And I know we've woken a side in each other, we both had no idea it was in us. Since last weekend I knew I wanted a relationship to build up.
What I didn't expect was, how fast and deep I'd fall for this girl. Tonight I felt this connection with her, a connection that goes deeper than anything I've felt before. A connection that scares the shit out of me. Damn it took everything in me, not to pull her into my arms and tell her those three words. Really, I was so close to saying them.
Wanting, needing to tell her, what she does to me. Needing to tell her how much she means to me. But it's ridiculous, jeez it's only been one and a half weeks. If I had said what I wanted to say, she probably would have laughed in disbelief or worse ran away because I'm scaring her.
Shit these feelings even scare me. I know I'm so deep in this, that if she rejected me now, run away from me, I'd break. Nadine wasn't exactly a nice break up. But this, this would be my ruin and I can't risk losing her because I'm moving too fast.
God damn I had tears in my fucking eyes because everything was so intense beforehand. I quickly covered my face so she wouldn't see it. Escaping for a shower to clear my mind was the only way to fight the urge of taking her in the arms and telling her everything. I need to try to give her some space so she hopefully will feel the same way soon.
She's come from an awful break up, lost her home. Alright it was a shitty home, but it was her home. Had a major fallout with her fucked up parents. The last thing she needs now, is someone to push her too fast, too hard into something new. Of course we said we want to figure this out together and honestly, I know exactly what I want. But I need to give her time to realize what she wants.
Once I know I have myself under control not to say something stupid, I get out of the shower. Entering the bedroom I'm surprised to find the bed empty. Why did she leave the bed?
Entering the open hallway I take a look across the lower floor, she's definitely not down there getting something to eat or drink. And then I hear it, her shower is running. If she wanted to take a shower, she could have joined me, there was no need to walk across.
Then again, perhaps it is good otherwise she would have caught me with my inner battle. I needed that time to get myself under control again.
While she's in the shower, I decide to prepare us dinner. A mix of roasted vegetables mixed with garlic, lamb steaks, some sauce and for a change because of Kiara I even decide to cook some potatoes. This way she can't call me a freak for going without carbohydrates. I prop a bottle of wine open and place it all nicely aranged on the dining table.
Is it over doing it, if I put a candle up? I mean I'm not exactly the romantic type, but I do know this is one of the things you do to make an evening special right? After searching for a while I at least find some tea lights. Not the best thing I know, but better than nothing.
She gave me so much tonight. Gave me the trust, to do things with her which was new to both of us. Let me feel things, sensational things in bed but also deep within in my soul. Perhaps this way I can show her it means a lot to me. I want to give her something back, even if it's just a decent meal.
YOU ARE READING
Racing Desires
RomantikMy chest is rising and falling rapidly while my body moves closer and closer to hers. "If he had forced himself anymore on you. Or had done anything to you, I would have lost it. I would have killed that fucking bastard. And all because you can't li...