anemoia || a maze runner fanfiction (Newt x reader // Minho x reader)

chapter five | 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒃𝒔

You were the first one to wake up. Today was your first day as a Med-jack and you were incredibly excited. So you stood up from your hammock before the other boys even opened one eye. The sun was about to rise behind the great stone walls, but for now a cool shadow layed over the Glade. You grabbed one of the backpacks, which came with you the day you arrived and got yourself some clothes. After you were dressed and ready to start the day, you decided to go for a walk, as not even Frypan was awake to prepare breakfast.

You walked over the grand meadow, blades of grass swayed in the wind and the first birds began to sing. Everything was so peaceful, that it was hard to imagine the Glade would be a dangerous place. Will you ever get to know another life than yours in the Glade? Will the exit be found someday? Is there even an exit? These thoughts started to fill your head and your heart began to ache. It was such a surreal situation, you knew there was more than just the Glade but at the same time the Glade was everything you ever knew.

Your feet led you to the little Forest-area called the Deadheads, Newt showed it to you on the day you arrived in the Glade. You didn't really think about where you were heading, as the thoughts about the Glade, the maze and your past life filled your head, making it feel like it would explode at any second. As you reached the small stream in the forest you fell to your knees, it was just too much to comprehend. You never were alone in the Glade until now, so you never had the chance to really think about your situation - but this made it only worse.

All the thoughts and worries you held back were about to break through and the first tear was falling. The tear ran over your cheek and dropped to the ground after caressing your chin, not shortly afterwards followed by another. You cried silently. Why you? How was this supposed to be your destiny? Why was this the life which had been chosen to be yours? What on earth did you do to deserve all of this? You were afraid of the life which impened you. You would see those stone walls everyday, you would do the same tasks everyday, you would live the same life everyday and you would never escape the time warp.

Suddenly someone put their hand on your shoulder. Your head turned and your eyes shot up, you inhaled a sharp breath. "Sorry, I didn't want to scare you" the boy apologized, "No, no, it's okay" you allowed your head to fall back to the ground. "Have you been crying?" the boy sat down beside you. "No" you simply stated and looked away, trying to dry your eyes with the sleeves of your (f/c) shirt "Why would I cry?".

"I don't know. Emotions are a funny thing to understand, but we shouldn't be scared to show them and even less embarrassed of them", after he had said that you turned your head to look into the brown eyes of Newt. "I don't know. It's just that I never really thought about the situation and if there would be any escape. But this Morning I was alone and somehow my thoughts started to wander and then everything hit me like... like..." you tried your best to explain the feeling to Newt, but he seemed to understand quickly "It hits like an avalanche"

"Yeah" you whispered "and I'm scared", "Everyone is scared, I'm also bloody scared. Not because of the grievers or something like that, I'm scared that this is truly meant to be my life. It feels like there's no way to break free and even if the runners try their best everyday to find the exit, I don't have much hope" now Newt explained his feelings to you and you slowly nodded "That's exactly how I feel and it's only my third day" you bitterly chuckled, "but then again, I don't want to accept it" Newt lifted his gaze to look at you after you claimed you wouldn't accept it.

"I mean... we were forced into this situation, we were forced into the Glade, but nobody is able to force your beliefs and even if it isn't much, I'll hold unto it. If it is the only thing I'm allowed to decide, I decide that I will not accept this life and never lose my hope. They took so much from us, but this is something they can't control and I will exploit this freedom" after you've said that you were surprised by your own confidence and will-power.