Serenade of Scars (Unedited)

Chapter 3

I was doing my evening job when I noticed a familiar face in the crowd. My heart dropped as I finished my round and went to hide myself. The other girls were looked at me some with disgust and the others with curiosity. My friend Olivia walked up to me and asked me why I was acting so weird. "I saw...I saw...I saw,"

"You saw who?"

"Olivia, I saw him," I said as I paced around in panic.

Frustrated, Olivia held me still. "Who did you see, Lo?"

Lo was a nickname Olivia called me by. "Doctor Jamal," I whispered.

After work I waited for Dr. Jamal to come out from the club. I was thinking of anything that I could tell him, anything at all. I didn't know what I was going to do, honestly. I just didn't want him to tell my father. My father would never want to see my face again. As soon as I saw Dr. Jamal walk out, I ran up to him. "Doctor, May I please have 5 minutes of your time?"

He looked over his shoulders then back me. "This is what you are always busy with?" he asked with disappointment in his tone.

"Let me explain, please," I cried.

"What do you want to say?"

"Please, don't tell my father. I'm begging, Dr. Jamal...please."

He shook his head and walked away from me.

I was so afraid for my father to find out. Dr Jamal was capable of anything and...I really just hoped that he would get back to me before he reveals everything to my father. I couldn't describe the kind of emotions that I was experiencing. I was sad, angry, anxious, afraid...I had a lot going on. What if Dr Jamal doesn't tell him? I mean, what was he even doing at a club? I smacked my head for that inappropriate question. He was a grown man and he could be wherever he liked. But was it the first time seeing me on that pole? Had he been watching me for a while now? Okay, maybe it was just a coincidence, no? I was overthinking everything, man.

I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror because I was dirty! I got to a point where I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling as I tried to fit together the pieces of how I ended up becoming a stripper. How on earth was I comfortable with entertaining horny men? I exposed my body to their eyes and I couldn't feel more ashamed. Even if I hadn't gone as far as removing my bra and showed my nipples to those wolves in sheep's clothing, or wore thongs and G-strings, I was still as guilty as all the strippers worldwide. It was all making sense now. I guess I got to a point in my life where I didn't want to be lonely. My mom left us and my father was the only close friend and blood that I had. I couldn't deal with another loss in my life. It took me years to numb my feelings towards my mother but for me to do it towards my father...I'd rather die. My father was a religious man and I, myself, well...I couldn't say the same. I was the complete opposite. I stopped talking to God when my mother walked out of my life.

I went to my father's bedroom and slept on his bed. That way, it made me feel more close to him even though he was just at the hospital. I'm not sure if you understand my situation or not but maybe, someday you will.

I woke up the following morning, got dressed and went to the hospital. I had an hour left till visiting hours were over and I just couldn't keep myself from wrapping my arms around my father when I saw him asleep in his bed. I cried silent tears as I was imagining the worst. What if he already knew? Would he disown me? Would he ever want to see my face again? It was truly confusing, you know but I still had hope that Dr Jamal kept my secret to himself.

The room door opened and I turned my head to Dr Jamal and his nurse. Our eyes met but I broke the contact because I felt weird about it. I mean, he saw me naked, he saw me stripping for money...how low could I get? I was beyond uncomfortable.

"Morning doc, how's my father?" I managed to ask.

"Morning Chloe, how are you?"

"I'm fine and yourself?"

"Blessed," he smiled at me as he walked to the bedside of my father and took down notes as he and his nurse talked to each other. I, on the other hand kept my arms crossed at my chest trying to find a comfortable position to try and stand in because Dr Jamal's eyes felt as if they were undressing me. I know it's weird but maybe I was just the one being paranoid. Nevertheless, I kept my strong, unashamed face on. They examined him and the nurse later left the room. And suddenly the air was too thick.

"Chloe," he started as he walked over towards me but due to the current situation, I wasn't comfortable with that so, I put space between us. "I don't know how you're going to take this but your father needs to start with the treatment as soon as possible."

That slapped hard. "By as soon as possible, what do u exactly mean?"

"Within the range of this week."

I swallowed hard as pressure and fear came upon me. I nodded at Dr Jamal and walked out of the room. How was everything happening so fast? I only managed to collect half the amount. At that point and time, I didn't know what to do or who to turn to for help. I was going to quit my stripping job but with all the weight on my shoulders, I had second thoughts. I knew what I had to do.

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