Serenade of Scars (Unedited)

Chapter 6

I woke up in my bed with an aching head. The first person that came to mind was my father. I quickly jumped out of bed and took a shower. Got out and changed into something comfortable before I heard the door open. I looked behind and saw Jamal with a tray of food in his hands. "Morning, are you going somewhere?" he asked.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, astounded to see him in my house.

He frowned at me. "Well, that's not a greeting." He responded as he placed the tray of food on my bed. Turning to face me, he asked, "Are you okay? I brought you home last night after you dozed off in my arms."

"Oh," was my only reaction. "Thank you for everything last night," I managed to say.

He smiled. "I didn't do anything, I was just there for you like you wanted me to."

"Yeah and I appreciate that."

"I'm glad you're feeling better," he said as he opened up his arms for a hug.

Goodness, I hesitated. My father was the only person I mostly got attention from, it was weird that he wasn't around. I basically didn't have a love life and I didn't care much about it either because I had my father. My whole life revolved around him and...it scared me to open up to other people. I never in a million years imagined myself without my father. Although my father can say otherwise for he had dedicated his life to God. He lived, ate and breathed God. At times I'd get jealous of their relationship, because he's spend more time with him than with me. Growing up I got to develop my own relationship with God and it was amazing. The relationship ended when my father's health started worsening. I mean, how did my father maintain his condition? He's dying yet he still worships and prays to God. Why would God hurt me like that? Why would he take away the only family that I had in my life?

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Is it okay if I decline your hug?"

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. But I because I didn't want him to feel as if I was pushing him away, I brought myself in his arms. "You don't have to hug me if you don't want to, Chloe," he told me.

"Sorry," I said as I moved away.

"I just want you to know that I don't want to make you do things that you're not comfortable with," he cleared the air.

"Thank you for understanding."

He sat down on my bed and I walked over to his tray of food. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?" I asked him.

"I'm not working today," he answered.

"Don't you want to go home?"

"Don't you want me to stay?" He looked up at me.

I bit my bottom lip as I crossed my arms at my chest. Did I want him to stay? I honestly had no emotions towards his question, I just wanted to see my father. "If you want to stay then you can stay, Jamal. I just thought maybe you'd want to go and be in the comfort of your own home, you know," I answered.

He smirked. "You didn't answer my question and its okay. I was already home, I got everything I needed, and now I'm here because you need me...well, Practically you need someone and that's someone is me since your father can't be here. But if you have someone else in mind, I don't mind leaving."

"No," I said as I got closer to him.

I only wanted my father and he couldn't be there with me. I deeply didn't know how I was going to cope without my father. He was my rock, my father, my mother and my first love. Right then, he'd want me to spend time with God...but it hurt. What was I going to say to him? If he was allowing my father to die then, what did he want from me?

A tear rolled down my cheek. It was hard pretending that I wasn't losing my father. Being strong was hurting me from within. Usually my father would say a scripture to me or sing me a sing to calm me down but at that moment, I was hopeless. I didn't know what to do. I had exposed my temple to half of the people in the town and ruined my reputation, now I was known as a whore. My father had raised me up so well, I had all that I needed yet, my decisions changed everything. Dr.Jamal saw me half naked and I couldn't deal with that. I was receiving dirty money to pay for my father's treatment. If my father hears of it, I cannot bare to imagine the turn in his health.

Dr.Jamal stood up and held me in his arms. As always, he didn't say a word rather, he was doing what my father could've done if he was around. "I hate seeing you like this," he whispered.

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