It Started With Cadet Training (Reader/Levi/Erwin/Hange/Mike)

Waste Your Time

The Commander's threat of retirement still loomed over your head as you paced the Scout barracks over the next two months. There wasn't a moment of peace you were allowed during the entire endeavour as you were constantly pulled into his office to ask for battle strategies or who you'd promote. Each time you shot him down. Each time you left his office in a huff.

At the same time, one of the other Captain's found out about your squad sleeping in your room. You suppose it was out of jealously due to the fact the Commander was giving you "special attention" that word of the behaviour found its way to the Commander's ears. It didn't help much when he used the threat of banishing your squad from your quarters if you didn't answer. Calling his bluff, you wound up sleeping alone.

Looking back, you probably should've given him an answer. The feeling of guilt every time your squad looked at you during training or on missions was weighing down heavily on your shoulders. Even as you rode back into town, another failed mission behind you, you could feel their eyes on your back.

Your horse clopped across the street towards the barracks, following behind the Commander himself. The barracks finally came into view after what felt like ages of waiting, giving you the out to lead your horse to the stable. Unfortunately for you, the Commander followed after you.

"Captain (Y/N)," he cut through your thoughts, his tone demanding your attention as you lead your horse to its stall.

"Commander Keith Shadis," you replied back, dignifying him only the return of his title.

"Do you have an answer for me, or are you going to continue to wallow in your own self-pity?"

You flinched at the words. Anger bubbling up in the pit of your stomach. How dare he say you were wallowing when he was retiring out of guilt.

"I cannot give you an answer, Commander, for the people I'd chose to take your place would make me seem biased," you snap back, finally giving him more than a no.

"You trust your squad, Captain. Yet why haven't I seen the same level of work these past weeks, as you'd previously displayed?"

"I'm not sure- perhaps you know the answer to that question better than I do. It was your decision in the first place," you growl, walking towards the exit of the stables.

He grabs your bicep tightly, halting you from walking forwards.

"Who would you choose? I'm not asking you as your friend, I'm asking you as your Commander, Captain."

In one fluid motion, you spin on your heel and rip his hand from your bicep, gripping his wrist.

"Erwin Smith. He's far braver than you have ever been, and his strategies have kept my squad alive since cadet training. Satisfied?"

A small smile spreads across his face as you release his arm and turn to go.

"One can find himself satisfied when he is finally at peace."

"One can find himself a coward, if that is his definition of peace," you mutter, exiting the stable and storming across the yard towards the mess hall. Perhaps some tea could help clear your head.

Soldiers practically jumped out of your way as you stormed through the hall to the mess hall. Had you been looking behind yourself, you would've caught the Commander taking Erwin aside, but your attention was solely focused on the path ahead of yourself to the mess hall.

Thankfully, the mess hall had fewer people within it, mostly due to the fact that titan killing killed one's appetite, even after a long mission. So you found yourself at the counter easily, watching the water boil away impatiently.