ALL TO SEE THE WORLD | AOT x BLIND READER

chapter nine

It's been a week since the news of Marco's death and Commander Erwin told us that we're going to go on an expedition next week. I didn't know what to feel. Excited? Scared? I don't know what to feel. The whole situation is a bit of a blur, honestly. First, I become a scout, the the colossal reappears and titans infiltrate Trost, then Eren's a titan, then I see my friends again just to learn that Marco is dead, and now we're going on an expedition. Outside the walls. It was scary how calm I was. Judging by the others reactions, I was really calm. Armin kept on shuddering, thinking about all of the casualties we saw when we were kids, waiting for the scouts to get back. Now we'd be able to experience it ourselves. First hand.

Won't that be fun.

Now, don't get me wrong, I joined the scouts for a reason. For revenge, and to help humanity destroy the titans. But, now, after experiencing all of the loss, I'm not sure if I can handle it. Of course I can, by my close friends? Scratch that, my family? Dying? I cant bear to have another Marco. I sigh and shake myself off. I cant have thoughts like this. I am a member of the survey corps, and I have committed my life to save humanity and destroy the titans. I am Y/n L/n, part of humanities strongest's squad.

And I will not lose anyone else.

Now, let's be logical here. About the colossal and armored titans. Since we know that people can turn into titans, it could be any one of us, save me and Eren. Actually, it could still be Eren, if he could turn into two different types of titans, but that's a bit of a stretch. So, who has been acting suspicious? I think about both times those titans appeared. Both times they also vanished in a flash. But, I still got a scent. If I could match it up with someone the we could have our answer. When Jean told us about Marco, I caught a whiff of guilt. Two, actually. Coming from none other than Reiner and Bertholdt. Now, I seem to catch that scent whenever someone is talking about something regarding the colossal titan, the armored titan, or about the death and destruction they caused. And, now that I think about it, they do kind of smell alike.

What am I thinking?

This is Reiner and Bertholdt I'm talking about.

Some of my best friends. They're like my brothers. Bertholdt, the first person I fought in the camp, and Reiner who always helped me with my ODM gear.

Could it really be them?

Bertholdt the giant softie and Reiner the muscle man?

I sigh and put my head in my hands. All of this thinking was giving me a headache.

"You okay, Y/n?" Connie asked, sitting next to me on the grass outside.

"I'm fine," I say, looking off into the distance, in the direction of Shiganshina. I actually miss it. My hometown with all of the people and the food and the Military Police getting all drunk. The fights and the stealing. It might have not been the best life, but it was the best part of mine. It was my childhood.

I wonder what my childhood self would think of me now.

"That's an interesting thought." Connie said. I must have said that our loud. Whatever. "Mine would probably think I'm a complete idiot." I laugh.

"Mine would think I have some sort of death wish." the two of us laugh at the kind of depressing thought. Maybe we actually do. Maybe we are suicidal for joining the scouts. Who knows. There will always be the people who don't like us because we're risking our lives for the good of humanity, while they're inside the walls, safe and sound, drinking a cup of nice, hot tea.

"Whatcha guys talking about?" a voice said from behind us. Jean.

"What our younger selves would think of us." Connie answered.