How it Happened is Irrelevant (Mabbell)

13

A/n: guessssss who's making an appearance in this chapter?

"Craig? Craig? Craig?! Craig!" Someone was yelling in my ear. I wanted them to go away. I was having a halfway decent sleep. I opened my eyes and saw a frustrated TJ standing over me and trying to push me off of one of the leather seats. "Craig, wake up!" He yelled.

"What? What time is it?" I sat up, feeling a rush in my head. 

"What do you mean what time is it?" He moved away. "You missed everything. No one had any idea where you were."

"What?"

"You're on stage in five fucking minutes, Craig!"

"Five MINUTES?!" I stood up. "Why didn't you tell me?!" I ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth. (I liked to do this before a performance. It was a sort of ritual now.)

"We did tell you. We told you when we were going to soundcheck, and we told you when we were setting up, and we told you a thousand times when we were waiting for you in the green room. We've been calling and texting you for almost a half an hour."

I ignored him, rushing around to find the stage clothes that I'd left out for myself. I changed into them faster than I probably should have, ripping the already enlarging holes in my jeans even wider. "You didn't realize that I've been sleeping for the last ten hours?!" I demanded, rushing off of the bus. TJ tailed me, and we started running to the venue. 

"I thought you'd have woken up. I guess we should've paid a bit more attention." We turned a corner. "When's the last time you've slept?"

"I can't remember." It was a somewhat honest answer. I really don't sleep that much, which is why this whole situation is even more frustrating. 

"You'd better hope that no one else finds out about this. If we're late, I'll kill you."

For my luck, we made it inside with a minute to spare, which left just barely enough time for TJ to get his earpieces back in, but me no time to warm up vocally. Now, if you've never performed in your life, then you might not know this, but if one doesn't warm up, then they could potentially rupture their vocal chords.

(A/n: This is actually true, but I don't believe it cuz I sing all the time and I only really warm up when I'm in chorus class bc I have to.)

But nonetheless, we got through the rest of the performance without any further issue. Although I felt pretty exhausted throughout most of it. I felt a little out of it. No one seemed to take notice though, not even TJ. I guess that's a good thing. 

After the show, everyone decided we were going out for drinks in a premature celebration. I tried to be excited, but I really didn't feel anything. Despite having unknowingly slept for ten hours, my insomnia was starting to catch up to me. "Everything okay?" Max asked me, purposefully bumping into me. 

"Yeah. Just a little tired still." I forced myself to smile as realistically as possible.

"I'll say. You need to stop trying to get a full combo on that song and sleep once in a while." He put his hand on my shoulder for a moment, a sign of friendly endearment. 

"I guess maybe you're right." That really wasn't the reason why I couldn't sleep, but it helped wear me out sometimes. I say sometimes in the least effective of ways, meaning that I've lost track of how much I've actually not been sleeping over the last few years. I don't remember when it started, really. All I know is that every once in a while, I just can't stop sleeping. 

I opened the door to the place, walking away from the rest of the crowd and sitting isolated from the others. Immediately, I ordered myself a beer. Apparently, I caught someone's attention, because I was greeted much to my own dissatisfaction. "What are you doing all of the way over here?" The person asked me. 

"What are you doing all of the way over there?" I returned, looking up and finding that I was talking to Ronnie. I took a sip from the bottle that I'd been given. 

"I'd like to socialize with people. Getting sick of your friends much?" He sat down next to me. 

"It's not that." I took another sip of the alcohol. "Can I ask you for advice?"

"I guess so?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Relationship advice," I specified.

"Not really my forte, but I'll give it a try." He cracked his knuckles. He looked around. "Who's the girl?"

"Uhh...." I pointed to TJ.

"TJ?!" He asked the question a bit too loudly, and I immediately covered his mouth so as to keep the attention away from us. "Why? Isn't he dating that really bitchy chick?"

"Not anymore." 

"Listen, I'm not really interested in the details, and I don't care honestly. But I'll give you this as advice: Have fun now, and then worry about all of the relationship stuff later."

"Isn't that a playboy move?" I raised an eyebrow.

"It always works for me," He shrugged. "It's better to get something out of a short relationship when the feelings are explosive than it is to get nothing out a long relationship where the feelings are wet matches in dark caves."

"I dunno." I didn't want to try that. It's that type of attitude that got him his divorce in the first place. 

"You tell anyone that I told you what I'm about to tell you, and you're dead, understand?" 

I nodded, confused by his aggressive tone-of-voice. 

"That drowning thing that you're feeling right now, yes, I know about it, it goes away. It always goes away."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Then that's how you know the other person's the one."

Ronnie's words danced in my head as I tried to force sleep to come over me. I was still tired, but I just couldn't keep my eyes closed for more than five seconds. Is he right? Is he wrong? Should I just fuck it all and take his advice?

God, I wish someone would just make all of my decisions for me sometimes.