How it Happened is Irrelevant (Mabbell)

36

A/n: Last chapter. Deleted/alternate scenes to be released within the next week

When I woke up, there was a sour taste in my mouth, a throb in my head, and the lights were hurting me physically. I couldn't remember much of anything that had happened. I was lying on an unfamiliar leather bench on a bus that I didn't recognize. "Is he still here?" Someone asked. "I thought they carried him back."

"He was pretty sick when they decided to leave. I guess they figured it was our mess," Another person answered. I could suddenly figure out who that voice belonged to. 

"Jacky?" I asked. "Where am I?" I sat up quickly, feeling extremely nauseous. 

"You're just on our bus," Ronnie answered. "You got totally wasted last night." He gestured to a counter of empty tequila bottles. 

"Did I get alcohol poisoning?" I asked, feeling sick. 

"I don't think so."

"Do you remember anything?" Jacky asked me. "Anything at all?"

I struggled to recall the events of the previous night. I remembered one particular moment a little bit, but I couldn't be sure if it was real or a dream. The more I thought about it though, the more real it felt. Did I really-?

"You feeling okay? You look really pale again." Jacky put his hand against my forehead. 

"I have to go. Where's Craig?" 

"On your bus. Where else would he be?" Ronnie shrugged. "You really are pale."

"He's turning green!" Jacky shouted. 

I threw up all over my shoes. Both Ronnie and Jacky stuck their tongues out in disgust. After a moment, Jacky went to get the vacuum or something to clean it up. I took of my shoes, wanting to throw them away. "You know, we're not moving. Why don't you leave before you make our bus wreak again?" He practically walked me off of the bus. "Always a pleasure to see you," He told me. 

I discarded my shoes and walked back onto my own bus. "TJ! Where the- God, you look awful!" He looked me up and down. 

"Did we have sex?" I asked him. 

"Yeah, I'm out," Robert said, going to some other part of the bus. Max followed him. I've no idea where anyone else is. 

"You don't remember?" Craig asked, looking somewhere between hurt and shocked. "You really got that wasted that you can't remember?"

"I'm sorry." I reached for his arm. He pulled it away from my grasp. "Please forgive me. I'll do anything. Don't let this mean anything! Please!" I pleaded with him in such a way that I'd never pleaded with anyone. 

"It doesn't mean anything," He shook his head. "It doesn't mean anything if you can't even remember doing it, does it?"

"No, I-I- Please!" I reached for him again, but he stepped a good distance away from me. 

"I'd call you slutty, but that's not the right word," He sighed. He left me alone. 

I collapsed onto one of the benches. "Fuck," I said. I put my face down into the leather. "Fuck," I repeated. Of course, Mr. Eavesdrop himself came out to check up on me. 

"What's wrong?" Max asked. 

"I'm a screw-up and a loser," I complained. "But I can't stay sober long enough to tell that to Craig."

He sat on the floor near the side of the bunk. "You know the best part about your situation?"

"What's the best part? Please tell."

"You can learn from it." He took a deep breath. "Listen, I don't know what the situation between you and Craig is. You know what I do know, though?" He put his hand on the leather of the seat. "A few weeks ago, you thought you'd never have a shot. You went out of your way to flirt and act sexy. Then you got his attention. He likes you in a way you never thought he would. Now look at you." He punched my arm. "You're hurt. You're sad. You're angry with yourself. And what're you gonna do about it? Go out and drink your problems away?" I looked over and he was shaking his head. "Absolutely not. You're gonna get up, pull yourself together, and forgive yourself." He shook me. "What's done is done. You can't take it back. You can't change the past. I know that. Craig knows that. And now you do too." He took another pause. "I'm not saying that everything's gonna just turn out okay immediately. This isn't the first time that the two of you aren't seeing eye-to-eye. The last few times, everything was fine. Why would this time be so different?"

"Because this time I did something to him physically. It's not an emotional scar." I put my face down once more. 

"He's a forgiving person." Max stood up. "But it won't make a difference if you're still upset with yourself." I could picture a look on his face. "You know, I was you once. It really will work out. I mean it."

He left me alone for a while. For the first few minutes, I thought about what Max had said. I went in a mental back and forth about whether or not he was right. Eventually, though, I sat up. My hangover had gone away by now. The memories of last night were becoming clearer to me. I remember being told to slow down and not drink so much about three million times. I remembered very little about anything that happened between Craig and I though. I tried as hard as I could, but I just couldn't remember. I decided that Max was right. Maybe I should just let it go for a while. If I can't even remember what happened, why should I be upset about it?

Craig and I spoke on friendly terms throughout the day, mostly exchanging a few words of small talk for conversation. When I fell asleep that night, he still had never said that he'd forgiven me. By now, I was over it completely. I knew Craig wouldn't sleep at all tonight. I didn't go out to see him nonetheless. I would give him his space for a while. 

(A/n: This next part isn't completely chronologically accurate because there's an interview that took place that night that doesn't fit with the storyline.)

The following evening, I was in the bathroom getting ready for the show. The door was open, so Craig slipped in. He held up an eyeliner pencil that he'd found on the counter. "Is this yours?" He asked. I nodded. "Can I borrow it real quick?"

"Sure." I myself was touching up my own eye makeup. 

"Listen," He pulled on his eyelid to get to his waterline, "I heard what Max told you yesterday. He was right. I'm not saying you weren't in the wrong. But I think I can get over it."

"Uh-huh," I put my lip ring in. 

"I don't wanna go on stage tonight knowing that we're still not okay. I'm not saying I forgive you, but I am saying that I don't want us to stay like this. Brief conversations and all. So are we okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded. He put the eyeliner pencil down and studied himself in the mirror, smudging it purposefully. "Aww," I cooed. "You look so pretty with eyeliner."

"Oh fuck you, you asshole." He smiled nonetheless and we kissed briefly. 

"Are you two done in there yet?" Max asked. "I still have to do my hair!"

"Another day in paradise," I sighed. 

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Fin

Total word count including this and author's notes: 36264

Always and forever, 

Davy Jones