How it Happened is Irrelevant (Mabbell)

4

A/n: If u don't know (not sure why ur reading this if u don't) Thrasher and Kevin are the same person. I just use them interchangeably, ok?

"What do you know?!" I demanded from Kevin, pressing him up against a wall in the back lounge. Everyone else was either distracted or elsewhere. 

"What are you talking about?!" He asked, holding his hands up in surrender. "Know about what?"

"About the damn dream! What do you know about the damn dream?!"

"It was about Craig. That's all I know, I swear!"

I let my grip on his arms up a bit. "How do you know that?"

"You talk in your sleep a bit."

"And no one else hears?"

"No one else. It's always just faint whispers. Sometimes you only say his name once. Sometimes you repeat it so many times I put my pillow over my head. Your whispers are creepy." He shivered. 

"Did I whisper it last night?"

"No. You didn't talk. Not really, anyway."

"Not really?"

"Once you sounded like you moaned something that might have been his name, but it's hard to tell." He shrugged as I let him go completely.

"No one else heard it?"

"I can assure you that no one else heard it."

"With certainty?"

"They didn't say it if they did hear. I'm pretty sure that everyone is going with the story that you told Max."

I sat down and ran my fingers though my hair. "Everyone except Craig himself."

"What? Why not?"

"Because he knows that I don't feel that way about females." I bit my nail. "He's gonna figure it out."

"Is that a bad thing? I think you've been bellyaching about him for months," Kevin pointed out.

"It's a very bad thing."

"How come?"

"It'll make things weird between us." I looked him in the eyes as he sat down as well. "And it hasn't been months."

"Pretty sure it-"

"It's been years."

"Years?"

"Since maybe twenty eleven?" I guessed. 

"Three years? How do you hide something like that for three years?"

I shrugged. "I never really talked about it."

"For God's sake, dude! Just freaking tell him!"

"No."

"You know, you're a wimp. People think that you're this brave, confident guy, but at the end of the day, you forced yourself in a relationship that you hated every moment of just so you could hide."

"It's not that simple. He'll never feel the same way."

"How do you know that?"

"I-"

"You don't! You've been keeping this a secret for three years! No one knew. How can you believe that he wasn't doing the same damn thing?!"

"He wasn't."

"How do you-"

"He's not gay."

"He never told you-"

"He's not. I can just tell that he's not. He's not."

Thrasher crossed his arms. "Fine. But I'm not going to sit here and let you just have this immense heartache. You have to try."

"Teach me how to flirt?" It was more of a question with how little confidence I'd asked it with.

"Favorite pick-up line?" He asked.

I thought for a long time. "Your hand looks heavy. Can I hold it for you?"

"Favorite vice?"

"Smoking," This answer was much faster. "Or sex?"

He snorted. "I really don't know what you see in him. What do you like the most about him?"

I opened my mouth to answer almost immediately, and then closed it once more. My initial answer wasn't shallow, but it probably wasn't the best.

"You think he has a cute ass, don't you?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me. 

I felt a heat rush to my face instantly. "No! That's not what I was going to say!" I insisted.

"Then what were you going to say?"

"I like the way that he laughs," I mumbled.

"Wow! You're so confident in that answer."

I rolled my eyes.

"Last question. Do you trust me?"

I shook my head. "Absolutely not."

"Great. First lesson, walk with your hips."

"What?" I wrinkled my nose.

He stood. "If you want to win over the heart of someone who's allegedly straight, you need to be a tad bit more feminine. First rule of sexy femininity, walk with your hips."

"How do you do that?"

He walked forward normally. He then turned around to face me. "Instead of walking with your feet leading, lead with your hips." My expression of confusion must've frustrated him. "Do....this." He walked pretty much exactly as he'd described, drawing most of the attention to himself. God, I could watch that all day. He gestured to me. "Now you do it."

"Wh-" He grabbed one of my arms and pulled me up. 

"Come on. I just sashayed for you, now you do it."

I felt really self-conscious, but I tried. I heard Kevin snicker from behind me. "What?"

"You're leaning back so far. Just stand normally, and lead with your hips. You're overcomplicating it."

I sighed and tried again and again, doing exactly as I was told and then ending up having to do it all over again. "Can you teach me anything else?!" I finally asked, frustrated.

"You got it!" He shouted.

"What?"

"You finally did it right!"

"Really?" I looked down at myself, wondering why it had taken so long for me to learn how to walk differently. "What's the next lesson?"

"Lip-biting."

"You have to teach me how to do that?"

"I had to teach you how to walk with your hips. How is this any different?"

I sighed. "Okay. What do I have to do?"

"Show my your sexiest lip bite."

I bit my lower lip, hoping it would be what he wants. It wasn't.

"More towards the front. Don't take so much of your lip between your teeth. You're biting your lip, not eating a ham steak."

Just like the walking thing, I had to do this  about fifteen more times before it was satisfactory.

Activities like this went on for a while. Every time I thought I was I doing okay, I wasn't. Good Lord, this better be worth it.