How it Happened is Irrelevant (Mabbell)

32

I feel like this is the fifth time we've been to Maryland on this tour alone. It's really probably only the second or third, but we've been up and down so many times it's hard to keep track. I think sometime between four and four thirty in the morning, I fell asleep. At seven though, I woke up to the sound of footsteps on the floor. "Who is it?" I mumbled. The only reason why I'd been able to sleep in the first place was the assurance that Kevin was there if anything should happen. I found that he'd left me alone. I shot up, terrified. "I was alone?!" I shrieked, scaring the shit out of TJ. 

"Calm down! When did you fall asleep?" He asked, stroking my hair with his roughly-textured hand as he sat next to me.

"I- I don't know. Thrasher was out here though. I thought that- He left me."

"Okay, okay. But you slept. And guess what? Nothing happened. Nothing happened to you or to any of us."

I nodded slowly, leaning into his side as he put a comforting arm around me. "Did you want to go out today?" I asked him quietly. 

"I suppose we could. Where do you want to go?" 

"The zoo," I muttered. 

"The zoo?" He asked. "We're gonna fucking terrify suburban moms and cliché grandmothers at the zoo."

"We're not that scary," I argued.

"We're too punk rock for the zoo."

"You're too punk rock for the zoo," I corrected. "I, on the other hand, love animals and therefore would like nothing more than to spend two quiet hours at the zoo with my boyfriend." 

TJ sighed. "But-"

"I'll make it worth your while. We'll do anything you want to tonight," I told him. 

"Anything?" He paused. "You sure you want to encompass every possible activity in the world there? What if I asked you to help me kill Jacky and then hide his body, telling everyone that it was a complete accident?"

"I trust you won't try to murder anyone."

He sighed once more. "You really want to go to the zoo?" He asked. 

"Yes."

"I'll take you to the zoo."

"There's probably a no public display of affection rule at the zoo-" I looked up at him, curiously. 

"Don't push it," He interrupted me. 

"You wouldn't do that in front of the animals, would you?" I already knew the answer to that question. 

"Animals have no privacy at the zoo. At the very least they wouldn't care so much if one couple in their mid-twenties stole a kiss or two. It gives them four less eyes to worry about for that small window of time." 

"Did I ever mention that I love it when you talk intelligently?"

"Sorry. I'll be a fucking dumbass from now on." He held a straight face for all of three seconds before we both started laughing. 

Max was the next to get up. "Morning," He said. He didn't meet my eyes though. 

"Sorry, did we wake you again?" I asked him. 

He didn't respond. 

"Are you angry with me?"

Still silence.

"I thought we made up last night."

"Morning, TJ. I talk too much for Craig, apparently. You didn't complain though. And I'm quite sure that we more than made up last night," Max replied. He glared at me, and I felt TJ's grip on my arm become just a bit tighter. 

"Give it a rest," I told him. He sighed, and let me sit up to apologize to Max. "Don't tell me I'm gonna lose my best friend in the whole world because I said that you talk too much. You wouldn't be Max if you didn't talk so much."

"You think I'm a gossip."

"I think you can be a little nosy," I agreed. "But that doesn't mean that I don't trust you. I was wrong to say that last night."

"You're only apologizing because you realized that I have feelings."

"I'm sorry I hurt them." I held out my hand. "Can we please just go back to being friends? I don't really want to perform on stage with you knowing that you're angry with me."

Max let up. "Yeah, I guess so. I can't really hold a grudge." He took my hand and shook it firmly. 

Later that day, as he'd promised, TJ really did take me to the zoo. With little kids running around his legs, suburban moms giving him sideways glances, and a lot of people generally staring at the both of us in complete awe, he was way out of his element. His discomfort was plain, but nonetheless, he laced our fingers and walked throughout. 

We arrived at the bears, where a few young boys were growling at the poor animals, attempting to provoke some kind of reaction. Their parents were busy with their phones. One kid kept begging his mother for a balloon. She told him no five hundred times. TJ let my hand go in that moment. Snuck over to a balloon cart, reached into his pocket, and took out a blade. Carefully, with exact caution, he cut the balloon's string, and handed it to the kid. He put a finger to his lips to make the kid keep quiet. 

"Did you just steal a fucking balloon?!" I demanded. "What kind of example did you-"

"She couldn't afford it."

"What?"

"She couldn't afford the balloon. She doesn't have a phone." 

"Why didn't you pay for it?"

"Because no one cares. The sooner you realize that people don't pay attention till you ask them to, the better."

I wanted to know the reason why he started stealing things desperately, but decided it was best not to ask about it here. He kissed my cheek before lacing our fingers again. We walked further and further until we reached a pair of binoculars that you paid for to get a few minutes of seeing things. TJ stuck a quarter in one, and started looking through it. 

"What do you see?" I asked him, leaning on him like it might give me a better vantage point. He continued to look through them, not answering me as he moved a bit. "Anything interesting?"

"Not nearly as interesting as you." He pulled away to offer me a chance to look through them. Inside, I saw nothing but a lot of grass, some bushes, and giraffes. 

"I guess you're right. Pretty boring." I moved away from the binoculars. TJ looked around for a moment. He pushed me against the tall fence behind me, which was a little uncomfortable on my back. Playing with my fingers, he looked like he was going to explode. 

"Can I-?" He asked, clearly referring to making out. 

 "You'll enjoy it more if you wait," I told him. He kissed me for a moment, chaste but still sweet. "You know you'll enjoy it more if you wait."

"I know." His voice buzzed in my ears, which might have been because his lips were so close to it. "I know." He moved away from me once more. "What's the next place?"

"I think monkeys." I wasn't really sure to be honest. I knew that TJ was getting really bored at this point. It was sweet that he'd done this for me, but this just wasn't our kind of place. He'd honestly kill someone to take me to a concert or something like that. 

"I'd rather monkey around in your bed," TJ muttered under his breath. 

"There are children about!" I shouted, hitting his arm playfully. 

"They have to learn where they came from at one point or another," He shrugged. 

"And you said I was gonna be the bad influence."

He squeezed my hand. "And you're the best bad influence I've ever had."

"Thanks, I think?" I looked up at him and he chuckled. Wonder what he's going to make me do tonight?