park chaeyoung imagines | gxg

broken

this is for @jokerkim0605 and it's angsty. i don't condone cheating of any kind, i think anyone that cheats is a terrible person, but of course this is all fictional! :)

i'm completely numb. i can't feel anything, i barely even know what's going on around me anymore. all i can even think about is what i've just been told by mine and my girlfriend's mutual friend.

apparently the two years of us dating and me thinking we were in love has been a complete lie. i mean, people who love each other don't cheat. they don't go out to a bar, get completely wasted and sleep with the first person that makes eyes at them. being drunk isn't an excuse for breaking a promise like that.

thousands of questions are running through my mind. did she ever actually love me? have the past two years of my life been a complete lie? what am i doing wrong? am i not good enough? not affectionate enough? terrible in bed? what's wrong with me?

"i'm sorry, (y/n)," jennie says, breaking me out of my spiralling thoughts. "i know it should have come from her and not me but i couldn't not tell you."

"no, i appreciate it," i assure her. i want to look at her and give her some sort of reassuring smile but i can't lift my head. i'm just staring at one spot on the floor, my brain a mess but also completely empty. i want to talk to chaeyoung and ask her why she did what she did but i also want her nowhere near me ever again.

and that's the moment when the front door opens and she walks in. i manage to tear my eyes from the floor and look at her. she's smiling as she comes into the living room but after seeing the look on my face and jennie sitting opposite me, it immediately drops.

"hey, babe," she says hesitantly. i scoff at that, suddenly feeling more angry than upset.

"no," i say. "you don't get to 'babe' me, chaeyoung. not after what you did to me."

"what i did..." it hits her then and her head shoots around to glare at jennie. "you told her?!"

"yes i told her!" jennie snaps. i've never seen her so angry at chaeyoung and it catches me off guard a little. they're best friends, they rarely fight.

"it wasn't for you to tell!" chaeyoung says.

"i knew full well you weren't going to say anything so i did. she deserved to know."

"jen, it's okay," i interrupt. "you can go, chaeyoung and i need to talk alone."

jennie's anger fades instantly. "are you sure?"

"i'm sure. thank you."

she looks hesitant but eventually agrees, glaring daggers at chaeyoung as she leaves the apartment.

once she's gone, the apartment becomes uncomfortably silent.

"(y/n)," chaeyoung says quietly. she sounds guilty, perhaps a little remorseful, but i just can't believe her.

"why?" i ask. "that's all i want to know. why."

"i made a mistake."

i let out another scoff at that, unable to stop myself, and chaeyoung's head falls to look at her feet.

"a mistake?" i demand. "a fucking mistake? no, chaeyoung. a mistake is something you don't mean to do and you can't sleep with someone without meaning to. it doesn't matter that you were drunk, you still had sex with someone else."

"can i please explain?" she begs.

i gesture for her to sit on the chair opposite me so she does, lifting her eyes to look at me again. she doesn't say anything, though, so i raise an eyebrow to signal for her to start.

"i-...i don't know where to start," she says.

"alright. how about why you slept with that man?" i ask. she winces, obviously not wanting to get into that so fast, but i honestly couldn't care less about anything else she might say.

"i honestly don't know," she finally says. "you know i don't like to drink much but for some reason i got insanely drunk that night. i drank so much that everything went blurry and i don't remember anything before waking up the next morning.

"i instantly felt awful, you know. i ran out of there as fast as i could and haven't spoken to that man since. i don't know who he was and i don't care."

she moves to sit beside me at that point and i tense when she reaches for my hand.

"i love you, (y/n)," she whispers. "i know what i did was horrible and i don't expect you to forgive me for a long time but i do love you. you mean the world to me and i want to be with you. i'm sorry, i'm so sorry for what i did. i just need you."

i don't really know how to respond at first so i stay silent, refusing to look at her because i know if i do i'll crack. i don't want to forgive her, she doesn't deserve forgiveness. she deserves i ache like i am, to wonder whether i'm going to forgive her.

she only lasts a few minutes before she sighs and shifts so she's facing me even more.

"please say something," she begs.

"i don't know what you want me to say," i say.

"that you accept my apology? that you know i love you and i'm sorry?"

"how can i, chaeyoung? how can i accept your apology? sure you might not have meant to sleep with him but you did. you broke my trust, you broke my heart. i don't know how i'm ever going to forgive you."

she sniffles beside me but once again i refuse to look. i can tell she's on the verge of tears but i really couldn't care less. she doesn't need comforting.

"(y/n), please," she whispers.

"i can't do this right now," i say, tugging my hand away from her and getting off the couch. "i think we need to take a break."

"wh-what do you mean?" she asks, now shamelessly crying.

"i mean i can't be with you right now. i need time to process what you did and decide whether i can forgive you. this is just how it needs to be."

i take one quick look at her and the sight of her in tears makes my gut twist. i've always hated to see her cry but this time it doesn't change anything. it can't.

"i'm going to stay with jennie for a bit, i'll let you know when i'm ready," i say.

and with that, i leave. i walk out of our apartment, out of chaeyoung's life, not knowing if i'm ever going to go back.

soooo... this is a sad ending but there will be a part two :)