park chaeyoung imagines | gxg

angel

i'm going to try something different with this imagine. i don't want to give too much away but just know it won't be the cute happy ones that i usually write. please read at your own discretion.

i've always believed rosie was the most beautiful girl in the world. ever since we met in our first year of high school and became best friends. she was the best friend i could have ever asked for and i look back at those years with complete fondness. i was platonically in love with her for year until one day i realized i was romantically in love with her.

it was her 19th birthday when i finally realized. i was around at her house as i had slept over there the night before and we were just lazing around on the couch watching whatever movie she wanted. she began giggling at something funny that happened and my eyes drifted over to her subconsciously. she was so caught up in the movie that she didn't notice me looking at her but for some reason i couldn't look away. her eyes were all crinkled up, her nose scrunched in that cute way it did when she laughed, and all i could think was "beautiful". don't get me wrong, i knew from the beginning that she was beautiful but it's like my heart didn't catch on until that very moment. suddenly i just wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss the air out of her. i wanted to feel those soft lips on my own, i couldn't imagine doing anything else.

i was eventually pulled out of my trance when rosie turned to look at me and shook her head fondly.

"you're missing the best part," she said, pointing to the screen. i mumbled a sorry as i turned back to whatever was happening on the tv but i still couldn't get my mind off her. i was in love with her, i decided. and i wasn't scared or upset by the news.

i didn't tell her for a couple more years, though. i had no idea if she liked girls as she kept dating men through university. i could handle her dating men because at least she wasn't dating a girl who wasn't me. i actually even liked some of her boyfriends because they treated her well which is all i wanted for her.

but then one night, after having one too many drinks, rosie blurted out that she'd been thinking she might be not so straight. she said that for a little while she had been seeing girls and realizing she was attracted to them. my heart immediately dropped into my stomach when i heard that, worried that she was going to tell me she liked a girl who wasn't me.

i was so caught up in my downward spiral that i didn't realize rosie had stopped talking and was waiting for me to say something.

"oh," i managed to spit out. "that's great. i'm happy for you."

rosie's head tilted to the side as she continued to stare silently at me. i raised an eyebrow at her, wondering if she was going to say anything else, until she shuffled closer to my side and leant in so our faces were a few centimetres apart.

"is that all you have to say?" she asked.

"is there something else i should say?" i retorted.

"i don't know." she shrugged just a little. "maybe that you also like girls and are into me."

i choked on the water i'd just taken a sip of, heart pounding in my chest at the knowledge of being found out.

"i-i don't know what you mean," i stuttered.

rosie giggled. "come on (y/n), i'm not blind. i realized years ago, i was just waiting for you to tell me."

"how?"

"i just figured it out over time." at the look of horror on my face she smiled and brushed a finger over my cheekbone. "it's not a big deal. you can't help who you like, right?"

"right," i replied breathlessly. i didn't really know what i was agreeing to, though, as i was too distracted by the feeling rosie's soft skin on mine.

"in fact, it's a really god deal considering i like you, too," she said.

that caught my attention and my eyes snapped back to hers.

"what?" i asked.

"you're the main reason i realized i might like girls," she said. "i have feelings for you."

i shook my head, shutting my eyes as if it would wake me up from some kind of dream. i couldn't believe what she was saying to me.

"this can't be real," i whispered.

rosie cupped my cheek and lifted my head back up to hers, forcing me to open my eyes again.

"it's real," was the last thing she said before leaning in and kissing me for the first time.

from that day on, rosie and i were dating. it was secret for a little while until one of our friends found out and told everyone else. we came clean and were so grateful that everyone was accepting of us. we were so happy and after only a few months were, although not fully seriously, beginning to plan the rest of our lives together. we just knew that there would be no one else for us after each other.

well, life doesn't always give you what you want, does it. sometimes when things are going really well and you're incredibly happy, your most important thing is suddenly ripped away from you. i never imagined rosie would be ripped away from me.

it was just a regular day. i had just got home from work and i knew rosie was on her way back, too. we were planning on ordering food in for dinner so i was looking through the menus of our favourite restaurants when suddenly a call from rosie popped up on my phone. i answered with a grin but it dropped to a confused frown when an unknown male voice came through.

"is this miss (y/l/n)?" he asked.

"yes, who is this?" i asked.

"hi, ma'am. this is sargeant park of the national police agency. i'm very sorry to tell you this over the phone but miss rosie park has been in a fatal car accident and did not survive."

at that moment the floor dropped out from underneath me and i went completely numb. i didn't hear anything else the man said and when he hung up i just began to scream. i screamed until my throat was raw and i couldn't get another sound out, until one of my neighbours beat down my door and called the police to take me to the hospital. i have no memory of the ride to the hospital or even anything that happened in the next few weeks after that call. all i know is i barely ate, showered or slept. i just didn't care about anything without rosie. if i couldn't be with her what was the point of carrying on?

when i got the notice for her funeral i was slowly starting to reintergrate into society a little. i still saw rosie everywhere i went, i still swore i could hear her voice when i was alone or sleeping. our apartment still smelt like her and it both comforted me and made my heart ache in an unimaginable way. but i was able to get out and do mundane tasks to make it feel like i was still living, despite how hard it was. the only reason i was trying was because i knew it was what rosie would want from me. she wouldn't want me to mope around crying over her for the rest of my life, she'd want me to live my life in the way she now couldn't. it wouldn't be easy but because i loved her so much, i would try.

"and that's where i am today," i say to the group of our family and friends. "every day life is still incredibly painful without her and i would give absolutely everything to have her back, or to at least get to say goodbye, but i'm trying. i hope she's proud of me and everything that i'm doing to try and live my life without her."

looking down to her casket, tears streaming down my cheeks, i force a smile.

"rosie, my love, i wish you didn't have to go so soon but just know that i will love you for the rest of my life. you will always be my rosie, the most beautiful and amazing girl i've ever met. thank you for being mine, i'm so thankful we got the spend the rest of your life together. fly high, my beautiful angel."

not me almost crying multiple times writing this ✌️😙 i hope it wasn't too depressing, i promise the next one won't be. also sorry it's pretty short but i like it the way it is and i don't wanna ruin it :)