AN ACTUAL CRUSH

sixteen

Catherine finally got up to leave and go back to her house she could heard everyone on the front porch still when Brayden walked her to the back door she went to her room and took a shower she sat curling up in the bath thinking of the love with Brayden she was smiling about their conversation but when the obnoxious feelings kicked him and she remembered the reason for it she couldn't help but cry she really wasn't sure how she was going to keep up with this and was so afraid to make any decisions for either way she felt they both going to be wrong,
"Brayden" Leah  said she didn't realize he had went missing
"Ma" he said
"Did you fall a sleep I almost didn't miss you"
"I fall a sleep" he said stepping off the porch,
"You're leaving now?" Kika asked
Brayden nod, "see you tomorrow" he said he turned back to kiss his grandmother she smile up at him,
Something stumbled in the house and Kady heard it and went in to check on Catherine she was coming out her room,
"You ok?" Kady asked
"Please don't ask me if I'm ok ok please" Catherine cried wiping her face
Kady widen her Catherine went to the kitchen and fix some tea it was all she could have and the craving for sex nothing more,
After fixing the tea Catherine went back to the room to have her tea and lay down
Brayden called to check on her, and he tried to be as nice and as convincing as he could he really want Catherine to carry his baby but with the way she was he was even sure buying her a car will be convincing enough,  "I'll take you swimming tomorrow" Brayden said
"I don't want to go swimming"
"Come now I'll wait for you by the bus stop be early" he said "I love you"
Catherine hang up with out replying to him Brayden sigh
Catherine got up early to go meet Brayden she was in the kitchen for water when she saw her sister"I'll go out for a while" she said
"You going to see the doctor again?" Kady asked
Catherine nod to her and left she was glad no one was by the neighbors to see her she didn't feel like talking now,
Brayden was where he said he would be and Catherine got in the car
"Morning sweets" he said
Catherine turn to look at him
"How you feeling today?"
"Worst than yesterday and tell me how an I to go swimming?" She held up her bandage foot,
Brayden smile well let's just kill the day in Middletown and we'll talk"
"Brayden I don't want to talk the less I talk it's better for me" she felt the tears coming again
Brayden wish he hadn't said anything.
"Kady entered Catherine room and found she haven't returned she wonder what had kept her this long, then she wonder if she was next door she call to Leah but Leah haven't seen her since she left yesterday for the doctor and kika was already home so was Rachel, kika haven't heard from her so kady decided to call her
Catherine was wrapped up in brayden's arms as they lay together she shifted a little to get the phone
"Yes" she answered
"You're not back yet"
"I'm aware of that" Catherine said
"Are you ok?" Kady asked
"I am I'm coming now ok" she said ending the call she look at brayden and sigh,
"You don't have to go"
"I know what you want you need someone to stay on all night and you think I'm that one" Brayden laugh, he kiss her bending to kiss her tummy, holding her waist as he pull her to him resting his head on her tummy, "I'm going to be a father, thanks for doing this for me" he said smiling up at Catherine she hug his head to her, "I am not completely in agreement to this" she grumbled "I should go"
Brayden nod he didn't bother to object he call her a cab they sat on the front porch waiting for it to come paco lay a inch away from them looking and whining,
"I think he's sorry" Brayden said
Catherine smile,
"Maybe one day you two will become friends"
"Maybe" Catherine said leaning on him, "by the way where are your people?"
"They won't come until later" he answered having the feeling she spoke of the neighbours
"Call me later" he said kissing her goodbye when the cab finally arrived,
Every one were at the neighbours when Catherine got out of the car even Ricky who had make it home early
"Where have you been?" Kady ask
"Hi" Catherine wave
"How are you dear?" Violet asked
"I'm doing ok, I guess" she frowned
"How is that leg coming on?" Leah asked
"Doctor said I'm to come again next month two weeks from today"
"I'm glad you're coming on"
"Me too, bye see you later" she said hopping into the house, kady shook her head said goodbye and followed her in,
"I'm sorry I'm late can you not scold me please" Catherine beg, she fall in bed texting Brayden, to let him know that she was home
"Oh"kady said disgruntled "I'm not to scole you, you've been acting really weird Catherine and it is scaring me" she
"Catherine look up at her and frown but said nothing
Kady shook her head leaving the room,
"Dinner is almost ready" kady said as Catherine walk into the kitchen
"I'm not hungry"
"When are you hungry you haven't been hungry for weeks now"
Catherine shrugged
"I'll fix you some vegetables"
"I'll have just a small bite of fish"
"Ok" kady said going to the refrigerator to take out the fish and vegetables to fix for her Catherine was a hard eater but since of late she she ate bit by bit nothing much she knew why wishing she had asked her doctor for something to fix that she hate the way it was making her feel but Brayden want it she didn't see herself pleasing anyone this way she still wasn't sure she wants this anyway this is going to be a huge burden and she didn't want anything such as this she love Brayden if it haven't been for that she wouldn't be fighting to make a decision,
She sigh making her mother and sister look at her,
"What happen?" Alison asked her
"I'm tired" she said and felt the tears start rolling against her cheeks
"Are you crying?" Kady asked
"I'm tired" she repeated
"You should definitely get some rest honey tomorrow we need to fix some things for Thanksgiving" Alison said
" Oh I for got"
" You didn't forget you just don't care" kady said,
"I do care" Catherine throw something at her,
" You've been gone most of the days you can't even walk and you are gone still"
Catherine grin at her sister,
" I never thought I would loose you when we get to tennessee"
"what about when we don't see each other every day"
"what?"
" Baby you're big girls now I'm sure you'll find moments when you too will need to make a phone call to communicate you might not even heard from each other a day or two" Clinton said
"he's so right" Alison said
Catherine sigh"I had no idea I would loose myself when I got to Tennessee" she breath a hard breathe
"you plan on moving out or something?" Kady asked
"At this point I can do anything but I'm just saying"
Kady took a deep breath
" I love you and that's all that matters" she got up hug and kiss her sister, she kiss both children going off to her room,
Wednesday afternoon Mr and Mrs Clark's two  sons arrived Jessie and Tony with their wife's Carmen and Lidia and their children, Catherine came on the front porch just as Brayden got their with them kika called her and she hop on over, kika introduce her to them,
"You're a pretty one" Tony said
"They all say that, you're not bad looking yourself"
"Not many people say that"
"well you must be lucky today"
Tony smile, she shook hands with Jessie say hi to Carmen and Lidia get aquatint with the children all four of them they were pretty she wondered if her little girl or her little boy will get this side of family looks or hers, she thought about it even though she didn't want to think about it, when ever she did it makes her tummy hurts and she cry some how she didn't feel like doing any of that today she sat with the children for some time talking crazy about dinosaur and the jungle
"I've been to the jungle and I have seen the dinosaurs too"
Brayden watch her as she interacted with the children he knew how good she's with children he'd seen her with her niece and  nephew so can you just imagine motherhood
"Are they big jessie's daughter asked
"It was so huge that it was bigger than a tall building like those one you drove by in Colorado"
"Tall tall, tall?" Tony's boy asked
" Definitely" Catherine said
" But uncle Brayden always say that dinosaurs doesn't exist in our world any more" the other little girl said
" But you saw them on tv" another said
"And in books" Tony's son said
"Dinosaurs must be your favorite" she said
"Yeahhhh" They all said
" My favorite animal is horses
I love them because they are big and strong"
" And sexy"
" Sexy, that's a big word" Catherine said
" Uncle got a horse, uncle got many horses and he said that they were sexy"
"your uncle is a horse  guy" Catherine said to them , she smile looking up at Rachel"he's a ass guy no wonder I thought he was gay" she whispers
"You never really thought that did you?" Rachel asked
She was wondering but getting to know him he has not one gay bone in his body, he is so loveable, sweet and cuddly so romantic make her want to give him all she got,
"Uncle Catherine said she love horses how come you haven't shown her your horses?"
Brayden look at Catherine smile at the children, he didn't know she was into horses but its impossible for her to get on a  horse not went she's expecting a baby, "I'll do that soon" Brayden said
"Catherine dear, can we get anything for you?" Leah asked
"no thank you" Catherine said
" Seems that miss Catherine is on fasting" Violet said Brayden look at her,
" Maybe on diet" Leah said with a smile,
Catherine smile at them she dears not think about the real reason why she can't eat for it was only going to make her go crazy, she already was
"so which of you boys are older?"
Catherine asked Tony and Jessie,
"We're thirty six" Jessie said
"You guys are twin?" She asked with a open mouth,
They nod,
"and neither have twin"
" Neither" Tony said
" That's not cool"
" My sister so wanted twin when she was pregnant both times, twin that looks a like, unfortunately she didn't for there was no twin runs in the family and she wanted to be the first, I told her, people say that twins babies are heritage it has to be in the family, but babies are made when you're cuddly with sex, and thrust me babies are made from anxiety, when you least expect it when you don't want it to happen and once you are caught in a position where you became irresponsible"
Tony grin,
" I probably never try hard enough" Jessie said
"but you got great children"
"Yeah they are great" Tony said
"I think I wasn't careful with sex when we made them only they didn't turned out to be twin"
" I've been too careful with sex" Catherine sigh shook her head, I think I heard my sister I'm going to go now" she nod  said  goodbye then left her sister was really in the drive with her family she announced to them that the others have arrived they went to meet them while Catherine went to lay down Brayden text her to ask if she was ok,
"I'll never be ok" she replied
Brayden try not to push the conversation for it wasn't normal when she started crying and getting crazy
Her family didn't stay for long for they had more fixing up to do for tomorrow's Thanksgiving,
"Happy Thanksgiving" Catherine called from the porch, she was just stumbling out the bathroom after vomiting and crying she have gotten the pills for her foot to take in the night vomited in the morning stomach weakness
Soon as Brayden saw her he texted
"Hey beautiful you're glowing"
Catherine hissed
" Don't say that with that stupid smirk on your face" she send a sulky face emoji to him Brayden laugh and went inside Catherine went inside to make tea while she continues to text Brayden,
"Baby!?" Kady said looking at Catherine "who is that?" Catherine shook her head them was gone from the kitchen hopping out, kady drop her shoulder and shook her head,
"Don't worry dear she's still your sister and of course she still loves you, and the children" clinton said
Dinner at the Clark's were on for four pm but by three they were all seated in their living room and was serve wine,
"I'll have the strongest drink you got" Catherine said when Jessie brought cross the wine,
This has made Brayden look at her,
"A double shot of whiskey" Catherine said
" Are you sure?" Jesse asked
"As sure as sure" she said
Jesse pour it and hand it to her,
"Catherine what you doing?" Brayden asked
"I'm drinking cheers" she said holding up her glass
"Are you crazy you can't drink that, you're on medication, he said  pointing down on her ankle
"Since when do you tell me what to do and don't call me crazy you ain't see crazy as yet" she hissed Brayden shook his head only to hear her hissing
"I got a alcohol free bottle care for some?" Carmen asked for she didn't really do much drinking"
"Sure thanks" Catherine said with a smirk, handing the glass to Jessie
She was serve a glass after drinking that she help herself to another then give up pushing the glass a side,
Before long dinner was serve and they all sat in the dinning room over a large amount of food Catherine look at the fancy food, things  that she love oh so much her stomach growl but not from hunger she felt as if her stomach was about to give way, "I'm sorry can I be excused?" She said tearfully as she got up
"What happen now?" Kady ask
" Is everything alright honey?" Alison asked
" I for got to do something" Catherine said, she dash from the table rushing out the dinning room moving quickly, everyone look at each other, the front door open and close Catherine make her way running to her house she barely got to the bathroom when she vomited erupting her stomach walls she lay stretch out on her back on the floor of the bathroom holding her tummy her inside feel so weak it was as if she wouldn't be able to move,
"I should get us more chicken" Brayden said
"More chicken and we haven't cut the turkey as yet" Leah ask
"It's just Incase ma" Brayden said getting up from the table before anyone could stop him he call up Catherine, "what happened?" He asked when Catherine answer, he could hear her crying
"My stomach crash with the sight of all that food"
"so what you not going to come eat?"
"I can't eat"
"Nothing at all?"
"No nothing at all" she sniffles
"Can you stop crying?" Brayden asked
"I can't"
"Catherine cut out the nonsense it's not the end of the world"
"Easy for you to say"
"Am I to dish away  some food for you?"
"You can" she said
" Ok but if you feel you need me call me ok"
" I'll be find"
" Call me"
" Ok"
Brayden got back to the table without the chicken he left for Leah look at him
"What did I miss?" He asked
"I thought you went to get more chicken"
He tighten his teeth forgot he said that, "oh the chicken, oh yeah, they're not quite ready"
Violet look wide eyes at him,
" I probably go see what's keeping my sister" Kady say
"how about we eat?" Brayden said
They all look at him again,
"I'll just check"
Before she moves kika phone rang, "she's calling" kika said
"What taking so long?" She asked
"I'm in the bathroom I am having a little disorder please go a head and have dinner I'm so sorry apologize for me"
" Will you be ok?" Kika asked
" I'll be find"
Kika sigh, and shrugged
"What did she say?" Leah asked
"She said go a head and eat with our her" Kika said
"She's not coming back Rachel asked
"She's having some sort of disorder"
"She must be having a bad disorder, she barely been eating,  since that belly cramp all she does is drink tea most if the time" kady asked
"Have she told the doctor about it?" Violet asked
"I don't know" kady shrugged
"Maybe she's pregnant" Ricky said
Brayden look at him
Dalton look at Brayden
"Pregnant?" Kady laugh"I'm sure my sister would never let that happen to her, that body of hers is not for carrying babies she kill herself if such thing happened"
Brayden look at her
"Can it be that bad she seems to love children"
"She does she's the best aunt but not the mom type"
That make them laugh
"Maybe it's the medicine" Rachel said
"That's true it can be side effects does she trouble with any thing like allergies or so on" Leah asked
"I have never seen her got sick only since she got here so I don't know if she has any allergies" kady said
"Well she said we're to eat so why not go a head?" Brayden said
"We should dish her's a side" Leah said getting up to do that, she left it where they could take it  to her when they leave for home, 
They started eating and some conversation with it
Catherine make herself another cup of tea and sat in bed she can't believe how her entire body was feeling it was as if she betrayed herself she couldn't feel at ease,
After dinner and Leah serve dessert Brayden call to check on Catherine once again he was talking to her when Dalton walk in on their conversation
"Just try to relax I'm sure that you'll get over it soon"
"I plan to" Catherine said
"What do you mean by you plan to?" Brayden asked
"I'm just not in the mood to talk now,
"Catherine" he call but already she hang up he rings but she didn't answer, he hissed
"What happened to her?" Dalton asked
He was standing on the other side leaning against the counter looking at Brayden
"With who?" Brayden asked
"Catherine she don't look so well"
Brayden sigh "she's pregnant"
"Say what whoooo!" Dalton said
"She's going crazy" he said
"So what's the plan?" Dalton asked
"I'm trying to convince her to keep it but I don't know man" he sigh
Dalton pat his shoulder,
Brayden nod
Catherine seems to be sleeping when the family got back from the neighbors and no one bothered to interfere with her,
Kady was  in the kitchen with her children in the morning when Catherine walked in looking as if she was run over by a truck, she greet her  hugging and kissing the two children she took a bottle of water as she was making her way out the kitchen kady stop her, "Aren't you going to eat anything?"
"I'll eat later" Catherine said it was only what kady get to hear these days .
"Catherine are you sure you are ok?" Kady asked
"I don't look ok do I?"
"You don't look ok" kady said
"Exactly" Catherine said walking away,
"We're going to the tree lighting tonight coming?"
Catherine shrugged she left the kitchen going back to her room for she only feels like moping she heard of exhaustion but this was her first time feeling it,
Brayden rang her cellphone to check on her, "what you want?" She asked
"I'm checking on you" he said
"Oh is that so I bet you're just checking on your seed" she grumble
Brayden smile to himself
"You don't have to beat around the bush"
"What you doing now?" Brayden asked
"What can I do I don't have the strength to do nothing"
"Can I take you out?" He asked
"I don't want to see you today"
Brayden laughed
"You don't have to call this often either I already felt trapped leave me a lone"
"I'll come by" Brayden said
"What for?"
"To see you what else?"
"You don't have to pretend to be nice to me" Catherine said
"Pre pretend now why do I need to pretend how often do I have to say I love you, you're my woman and the mother of my unborn child" Brayden said only to hear Catherine hang up on him he sigh and shook his head he threw the phone a side and sit down looking over the ocean he was glad for this cozy little back yard setting he relaxed and picture his son or daughter running with their mom along the beach this was something he had never thought about before and he let himself drift into the feeling as he imagined fatherhood,
Thought Catherine had stayed in her room all day she was ready to go to the three lighting ceremony with the others
"Catherine" Kika said coming to hug her she smile at her
"You're going I'm glad you are coming"
"Well it's tree lighting what you think?" She asked
Rachel smile Tony and Jesse greets her as well as Carmen and Linda Ricky hug her and she smiled
"You ok?" Dalton asked having heard about the baby,
Catherine nod "this is me putting my all out there and still felt as if I'm trying"
Dalton smile "can't say I knew what you're going through, but you'll be fine" he touch her cheek and she smile,
"You haven't told anyone about it have you?" Catherine asked he was alone with him now for the others were getting in the car,
"About you and Brayden? I haven't but don't you think you're going to have to say it soon especially with the baby on the way"
Catherine mouth widen "he told you I'm pregnant?"
Dalton nod
Catherine frowned "Bastard" she grumble she shook her head walking away to get in the car next to the children,
The tree lighting ceremony was indeed a good one they all get to enjoy it, after  everything they neet up with Brayden he was with josh and Moses for luke had left after Brayden's performance, they were together when Jeana comes and called to Brayden's family but ignore the others
"Brayden  I want to talk to you" she said
Brayden side look Catherine who turned focused on him no matter what Jeana had to say to him was important as keeping Catherine calm now he want her to have the baby and nothing matter to him now, "I can't right now"
Dalton look at Catherine who look from Brayden to Jeana
Although Brayden had stepped away from her she didn't move,
Catherine left the gathering and Brayden watch her  leave, ten minutes later she called "I'm by your car"
"Sure I'm coming" Brayden said hanging up "duty call" he said to the others
"You're going somewhere else to work?' Leah asked
"Yeah catch you later" he kiss her and his sisters said goodbye to the others hug his grandmother and embrace  his dad
"Where is Catherine?" Linda asked
The others look around for her
"That's Catherine always running off" Rachel said
"I'll call her" Kika said taking out her phone and dial her number "we're ready were you at now?"
By this Brayden had reach to her "I am already on my way" she said
"Can you not disappear so much?" Kika asked
Catherine laugh
"It's not funny"
"You sound like my sister"
"Yes I have to sound like your sister" Kika said smiling at kady, "for I'm facing what she is too"
"I'm alright see you late"
"Ok" Kika said hanging up, "she took a cab" she told the others but Dalton knew it has to be her who called us brother in law and Jeana knew that too she can't believe because of her Brayden didn't want to even talk t her, she turned and left with out saying anything.
Brayden open up his car door and Catherine sat inside he got in next to her leaning in to kiss her but was push away,
"What?" He asked
"Just take me home" she grumble
Brayden started the car as he drove out the parking lot he saw Jeana she stop to watch his car
"So you're still seeing her?" Catherine asked
"Does it look that way?" Brayden asked
"Well it better not be for I'm walking around with this, this that I don't even want to watch you running around with another woman"
"Catherine don't worry I told you it's done with me and her" 
She turn away from him looking out the window
"So how you feeling now?" Brayden asked after a while
"Mad as hell and you know why" she hissed furiously
"Catherine it's going to be ok"
"Easy for you to say" she grumble
"You have to relax"
"I wonder how"
Brayden turned to go on Middletown Catherine look at him, "we're just going to chill with each other we'll make love I'm sure after that you will feel better"
Catherine chuckle and shook her head
Brayden took her hand in his and kiss it she smile at him it actually felt  nice with him and apart of her really want to have this baby but the feeling that it came with was too much to bear and with all that she's still having second thoughts about it, she sighed heavily Brayden kiss her hand once more "I love you" he said and deep down Catherine believe he does.