𝗦𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗧 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗢𝗦 (discontinued)

Alone ; Jackson

Pairing ~ Jackson (GOT7) x Jisoo

Summary ~ Jackson is in China while Jisoo is in Korea. Jisoo knows Jackson is working on his solo career but she can’t help but miss him. It hurts even more when his new song drops and she feels exactly like the title, alone.

Warnings ~ f word repeated multiple times

It’s a short one but please enjoy !!

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It was another cold day and Jisoo was just lounging around outside. It helped that there weren’t many people out due to the weather. She walked through a meadow as the wind passed through the strands of her brown hair. She carefully sat on top of a small hill and stared out into the clouds. Today was a gloomy day. Today was almost as if it were reflecting her feelings.

She felt gloomy also. The clouds were a shade of grey but it wouldn’t rain. You could tell that much. But then again, the clouds were a bit full, so maybe a small shower would happen but nothing past that. And it would be good for the flowers as some of them were wilting away and needed more water to stay alive and pretty again. They needed their energy source, the sun, to keep being beautiful and bright.

Jisoo sadly smiled. She wanted to be beautiful and bright too, but she was just like the flowers, slowly wilting away because her sun wasn’t here, and hasn’t been for the past months. Tears that were like sharp crystals fell and it hurt her, maybe not physically but mentally. She promised she wouldn’t cry for him, he made her promise that if he wasn’t here, not to cry because he’d always be here with her in spirit.

But it was never the same when he was here and when he wasn’t. When he was here it was as if they were the only two the mattered, the way his arms wrapped around her and brought warmth, the way he would always joke around and make them both end up laughing, and the way his smile made her want to keep going, just for him.

Oh how she missed him, she longed for him to be by her side. But he couldn’t, he wasn’t in Korea. He was in China and had been for months. Last time she heard, he was working on a new song. She should be happy but she couldn’t find it in herself to do so, it just hurt so much that he wasn’t anywhere near her. You might think she’s obnoxiously clingy but she isn’t. Wouldn’t you long for the one person who brings you warmth, the one who brings you out of the darkness?

Jisoo was a very supportive girlfriend, streaming his songs and his group’s songs, supporting his solo activities and his group’s activities but, leaving was always the hardest for her. When he left she felt as if a part of herself left with him. She wasn’t herself without him, they brought out the best in each other. She didn’t like it when he left, some days she really needed the warmth only he could provide. Why couldn’t she just wait it out like anybody else? Why did she have to miss him so much? Why did she fall in love with him? Why did she fall in love with Jackson Wang?

Then she felt the warm salty tears that felt like pricks against her now cold skin. Why did she promise she wouldn’t cry for him when she knew she would fail? Why did Jackson Wang do this to her? Why does Jackson Wang have this effect on her? Yet, she wouldn’t change anything for the world, not for all the fame, not for all the money the world has to offer. She just wanted love and she has it now. That’s all she’s ever really wanted and she’s found it. Found it with someone who loves her back equally as much, found it with someone who would never let her down.

More tears came cascading down and it hurt, it really did. Her heart hurt so much and her skin felt cold and prickly. The tears were like pins, each and every one that fell felt like not only a pin to her skin but a strike to her heart. She wants Jackson back, she really does.

“Please come back.” She whispered with a strangled voice.

“I miss you.” She whispered once again. Why did it hurt so much just whispering those words? Then she noticed the time and noticed it was getting late but she didn’t want to leave just yet. Then she got the notification that Jackson’s new song would be coming out soon so she clicked on it and waited patiently as her tears slowly stopped. As she wiped the remaining tears from her eyes she noticed it wasn’t as blurry as before so she got a clear view of the screen of her phone.

The premiere had started so all she had to do was wait, she never really got a good look at the title so she didn’t know what to expect. Would it be sad? Happy? What emotion would he be portraying the most? Would it be to show Jisoo that he was doing alright over there in China without her? To show her that he can take care of himself just fine and that she didn’t need to worry? Without realizing more tears appeared.

Jackson Wang, you fuck me up. You fuck my emotions up. But, I still love you. You’re like a drug. I have an addiction to you. I can’t stop. No matter what anyone says. I won’t let go of this addiction either. It’s too good. It might not be good for me but I love you, I fucking love you so much. Your love, you, everything about you makes me dizzy. Makes it seem as if we’re the only ones here. Makes me forget everyone in the room. You make my head spin and my heart shake.

I can’t anymore. But it’s an addiction I can’t stop. I love the way you make me feel. I hate the way you make me feel. You show me what true love is like. You show me the pain of what it’s like to see someone you love just walk away. I love you. I hate you. It’s not your fault for making me feel this way. It is your fault for making me feel this way. Imagine if I never loved you. I couldn’t imagine that. I love you too much for that to happen.

Finally, Jisoo left her thoughts and noticed the music video was about to start. She once again wiped the crystal like tears and watched as the music began to fill her ears. She closed her eyes and laid on the grass as her lover’s voice filled the silent field. It was no use wiping her tears because more just appeared. Jisoo knew what Jackson was singing even though it was in his native tongue. He had given her lessons when he was here.

As it ended she just let her tears go freely. She didn’t hold back the sobs she had. She let the sharp tears cascade down like a harsh waterfall and sharply land on her cold skin. Her phone long turned off as she endlessly cried to her heart’s content. Good thing she was the only one here. Jisoo couldn’t help but cry more as well when she thought back to the title of the video, alone.

“Fuck you Jackson Wang! Fuck you for making me love you the way I do! Fuck you for making me feel so alone every time you leave!! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!!!”

Then arms wrapped slowly and gently around Jisoo causing her to cry more. She knew exactly who it was. She knew the warmth. She knew these arms. She continued crying but she was slowly stopping because she was back home.

“Don’t cry, love. You’ll never have to be alone again.”

T H E  E N D

woah, double update, damn i was productive today guys. okay but actually this is definitely a favorite. i really like how this turned out, hope you guys did too !! oh and if you couldn’t tell this was when Alone came out, i know Jackson has a new song called LMLY (leave me loving you) which will have a oneshot of. well two shot since the queen jichuuscherryy will be helping me out and doing the second part to it while i do the first, stay tuned for that but anyways goodbye guysss !! <33