Not-So-Secret Admirer -A Jily Story

Part 3- James

I STOPPED IN MY TRACKS ONCE WE WERE AT THE END OF THE HALL. Padfoot stopped and turned around. I let out a soft, frustrated yell and mentally kicked myself.

"What's the matter with you?" Padfoot whispered "We need to go! Moony and Wormtail are already waiting!"

"I forgot the invisibility cloak," I whispered back.

"You what!?" Sirius exclaimed "How? We've been doing this for years!"

"Lily was there and we had to go and in the hurry I didn't grab it," I defended.

"Go and get it!" he hissed.

"I can't!" I protested "Lily will get suspicious." Padfoot huffed.

"Fine I guess we'll take our chances and hope that no one catches us," Padfoot said.

"By the way, what is wrong with you?" I asked.

"Says the bloke who forgot the invisibility cloak," he muttered.

"No, I meant with Marlene," I explained "Your usually so... good at flirting, but with Marlene, how do I say this nicely? When you are around Marlene, your brain just turns into liquid and your brain cells kill each other."

"Thanks for putting it nicely," Padfoot said, rolling his eyes "But I don't know. I flirt so effortlessly with other girls, but with Marlene, I just crash and burn. I guess she means more to me than anyone and every time I tell her that it just... you know what happens. Anyway, Moony and Wormtail are waiting so let's go."

We dashed across the hall and met with Moony and Wormtail in the great hall.

"Prongs let's go," Wormtail whispered "Get out the cloak!"

"I forgot it," I said and proceeded to explain the same thing I explained to Padfoot "It's okay. I'm head boy, hopefully we won't get in trouble."

"Let's just go," Wormtail said "Moony's looking worse by the minute."

We made our way to the Whomping willow. Wormtail turned into a rat and crawled underneath the Whomping willow.

"James?" I stiffened at the sound of the voice. I turned around and I saw Lily. Great! She followed us.

"What's going on?" she continued "Is that Remus?"

"Lily you need to go," I said with urgency in my voice.

"What is going on?" she repeated "Remus doesn't look too well. Are you sure you shouldn't take him to Madam Pomfrey?"

"Lily, it's nothing, just go!" I said. Remus yelled in pain. Lily had to go.

"James, whatever prank this is it's not funny," she said "You guys should take him to Madam Pomfrey. He looks like he could die any minute!"

"Evans just leave!" I yelled. Lily looked at me for a few moments and went back into the castle. I turned around to help Moony and Padfoot.

**********

Moony was exhausted from the transformation. He was asleep on the little bed in the small room. Moony and I stole that from the hospital wing during our third year. Padfoot was curled up beside him, still in his dog form. Tonight's transition was much more exhausting than all the other times.

"What was Lily doing there?" Wormtail asked.

"I don't know," I admitted "She must have followed me."

"Are you going to tell her?" Wormtail pressed on. I thought about it for a very long time.

"No," I answered "I don't think I should."

"So what are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know," I said "If I'm lucky, I'll probably sneak in when she's sleeping and pretend like that... incident never happened."

"She's not stupid you know."

"Yeah, I know that," I said "She's brilliant and now I have to lie to her."

"Better get on it," Wormtail said. I rubbed my knuckles against his head and I left. I managed to reach to the Head's dorm without getting caught. Lily was pacing back and forth in the common room with worry all over her face.

"Thank you for not calling McGonagall," I said.

"I thought I'd give you a chance to explain," Lily said softly.

There was a moment of silence and then I finally spoke up, "Good night, Evans."

"Is Remus alright?" she asked.

"Yeah, he's alright," I said "But he almost wasn't."

"What?"

"We were delayed," I said "Because of you."

"Are you seriously cross with me because I ruined your prank," she scoffed. I called her Evans because I was cross with her. She noticed.

"It wasn't a prank," I said.

"Then what was going on out there?" she demanded. I couldn't tell her that.

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"Because it's not my secret to tell," I said. I didn't realize I was yelling.

"When has that stopped you?" she yelled back "Just earlier you had no problem telling me that Sirius fancies Marlene. I'm sure he wanted it to be a secret."

"That was different," I said, lowing my voice "What we were doing tonight would have not only endangered me and my mates but it could have endangered you too."

"Really? Because Remus looked like every bone in his body was about to break," Lily said.

"You are messing with things you don't understand," I said "And it would be better if you just stayed away from it." 

"Hey, you know best," she sneered, her voice thick with sarcasm "I mean, it's not like you lot aren't mean and cruel to each other."

"Yeah, Evans, we're mean and cruel to each other. We might even bully each other," I snarled back "But when the time comes, I would happily sacrifice everything thing and I love and myself for them. And, I have no doubt that they would do the same for me." I went in my room and slammed the door before Lily had a chance to say something back.

Padfoot always joked that a time will come where I have to choose between Lily and them. I joked saying that I'll always choose her and spill all their dirty little secrets. Today, I didn't actually have to choose between them but it sure felt like it. Only difference is that I didn't choose Lily... and it didn't feel good.