50 Reasons Why I'm Not Gay

-Varian-

🔴 Varian's POV:

I had never felt so angry and dead inside all at once. It consumed my soul in a ocean of hatred, disappointment and cruelty.

I couldn't even trust my own supposed friends. None of them, even after we saved each other's skins.

And Hugo... oh how... just the thought of him, it made me angry enough to want to smash my fist into the hard stone wall I leaned against.
He always thought he was better then everyone and he was a flat out jerk.

Yet he tried to act like my friend? He couldn't be trusted... should've never been trusted.

He was definitely in it all for himself- him saving my life was just for his own fucking benefit and nothing else.

I looked at my journal in my clenched fist and stuffed it back into my vest, staring at the wall in front of me like it could offer comfort.

And in a way it could... but it would take too long-
Too inconvenient-

The fog churned slowly around me, wrapping its strange heaviness over my body and my thoughts.

Hugo was never my friend, him only saving my life was to try to gain my trust is some messed up game. And so was Yong and his pretend innocence and Nuru and her so called mission to save her kingdom. It made me sick.
All of them were liars and idiots.

And they were just my newer mistakes, how could I forget the princess, now queen, of corona? Oh sweet, stupid daughter of a fucking bitch Rapunzel. The one who left me all alone. On the night my father could've died but somehow managed to live for an entire year encased in amber.
The minute I needed her I was ignored and thrown aside like the piece of shit she really was. The only reason she ever freed my father was so that I would give her mercy. I knew better now...
She had fucking played me.
And all her friends had too.

Everyone could no longer be trusted... should've never EVER been given the chance to even consider being trusted.

It was all about personal gain. That's all that mattered to them-
No one ever cared about me.

How could I feel this way?? How could I feel so angry and yet so dead inside?

I hated the feeling and equally savored it, letting myself brood further to sink me deeper. If I went far enough, this would be the end of my emotions. That was the plan...

I saw my dad's face flash in my my mind, telling me that he was proud of me. I knew all along that was a flat out lie, but I had pushed it aside like an idiot...
And all my father's secrets drove into me like a knife as I pulled out each and every single one of them in memory and compiled a list of how stupid I had been.
Again, my dad had only said that Line to keep me from killing him...

He was afraid of what I was capable of.

So was Rapunzel...

And the kingdom...

I was and still am so fucking powerful, that the world has taken advantage of me and bent me to their will. But finally I see the truth behind the lies of their smiles, their comforts and their friendship and so called love.

It was a chain.

I then wondered if this whole quest was a way to kill me without a execution... if this was just a death sentence in disguise cuz hell knows I've escaped it enough times...

I laughed in cold irony thinking about naive I had been when I first met my hero... when I tried to offer something to people who didn't want or deserve it.

Like someone who thought they were so much better then me-
Damn Hugo.... it's like he sets me off on purpose. Just begging to take the fricking spotlight.

I clenched my first tighter and tighter, until I felt the leather gloves straining against my skin as my fingers dug into my covered palm.
I punched the wall behind me, trying in agony to release at least a fraction of the feeling that consumed me in order to feel like I had actually accomplished something.

Why was I here?! What was even the fucking point?!

My first against the cold hard stone didn't do anything for me as it was driven against it, only shooting sharp pain up my wrist making me inhale sharply.

I hated this.

I hated the lack of my worlds control and the lies filling it. I hated the people's fake smiles.

By god, I hated myself.

I breathed heavy and deliberately, my hair blowing gently along with the swirling mist as it parted somewhat to make a distinct path.

I stared at it with no emotion as some bitch showed up, their silhouette the only thing visible to me as they approached.

Whoever they were, they were bigger then Hugo and taller then Nuru and Yong...
Apparently it was a nice new stranger...

Grabbing my vials, I threateningly held it up, warning the damn idiot just about what he was going to himself into.
"Stop! Who the fuck are you?!", I yelled aggressively, "What do you want?"

The walking stopped as more fog parted for the pathway, a greyish cloudlike wall around him on either side.
The stranger was barely visible, the only thing managing to pop out at was a few red splashes of color on his clothing.

"I said, who are you!? And what do you want?!", I said angrily bringing out another vial.

"Come with me.", the stranger intoned, the voice obviously a man's, "Your enemies and the lies you face won't matter anymore if you follow."

I threw the vials at him as I scoffed, completely done with his bullshit.
Who the hell did he think he was?!

I watched as the fog covered him in a flash, leaving me in a strange kinda darkness and making me wonder if the vials ever reached him.

I took a step forward, grabbing another vial as I heard footsteps behind me. I then whipped around in a second and smashed the chemicals on the intruder, who to no surprise was the creepy bitch.

He just stood there unaffected by the contents, and his cold hand gripped my wrist.
I glared at him and tried to pull away and grab my other alchemy vials, but he grabbed the other hand too firmly in place.

Somehow, his face remained hidden, the only thing in front of me a vague blur of a human.

"I know you've been following me for some time.", I breathed angrily as I tried to yank away, "So listen asshole, you better let me go or I'm really going to give you some pain you won't recover from.
I don't appreciate stalkers!", I gritted my teeth as his grip suddenly tightened, making my hands go cold in turn as the circulation to my hands was severely cut off.

THE FUCK?!
Who was this guy?!?

"I'm not who you're angry with.", he said calmly, "I'm trying to relieve you."

"Well guess what BITCH?!", I spat, "I don't want it!! I don't want your help and why would I believe you when you're cutting off the circulation in my hands!!", I yelled as more pain went through me.

He tilted his head ever so slightly... the effect equally chilling me and pissing me off. "You were attacking me, I did not come to you with weapons.", he said while dropping me suddenly making me fall onto my rear in surprise, "I did not mean to be so rough."

"Don't even know your own strength huh?", I retorted as I felt the blood rush back into my cold hands, the pain tingling and feeling like a couple of needles, "Just what the fuck do you want?! Why won't you just leave?!"

"Because I was sent to help you."

"Excuse me, you're not an angel and even if you were, i still hate you, so I decline.", I said throwing up my middle finger as I stood up, "Fuck off."

I felt his eyes boring into me with strange eeriness, "You don't understand... you need to come with me. Before it's to late."

"And I'm done hearing this.", I said walking away from him, "Im done with it all—,"