When It Rains || ENGVER

11 : Choices

XUEER'S POV

"Xueer, are you okay?", Chengcheng suddenly asked.

We're currently in his house's minibar. Since, I didn't have a time to enjoy the drinks in the bar earlier.

"Of course, I'm okay. Why?", I answered.

"Nothing.", he said then smiled at me.

So, I smiled at him, too.

"Let's sit on the couch, it's more comfortable there.", I said.

He nodded and went there first. I just followed him.

Hmmm. He's been thinking too much since earlier. Do I really look like I'm not okay? Haist.

I sat beside him then I put my glass down on the small table in front of us. After that, I hug his arm and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

I don't usually do this to him.

"I think I'm the one who should ask you that 'are you okay?' question.", I said.

I felt him sighed for a bit.

"You're not talking to me earlier after your conversation with that woman.", he said then he holds my hand... the one that cuddles his arm.

"I'm tired of talking earlier.", I said.

"Is that the reason why you looked lethargic earlier?", he said.

My smile gradually fades.

"Hm. I'm just tired.", I just said.

...

"Xueer...", he called me after a bit of silence.

"Hmm?", I replied.

"Do you really love me?", he asked.

"Why did you ask?", I asked him back.

He sighed again,

"Please, Xueer. I just wanna say that if you really love me, tell me with full of sincerity and if she's the one that you really love then you should tell me now...", he paused for a bit.

"... so, I can prepare myself to start unloving you.", he added.

I was stunned. I felt his pain in every word that he said. It hurts for me, too.

"You can immediately tell me that you don't love me, so, I can prepare myself from letting you go.", he said.

I suddenly saw a tear drops on his clothes. He's crying silently again.

"Can I ask you, but you're answer should be final. Can't be change.", he said.

I suddenly felt nervous, so, I let go my hands from hugging his arm and I sat properly. Then, I look at him. I'm waiting for him to finish what he wanted to say.

"Are you choosing me because you love me? Or you're just choosing me because you need to choose me?"

After he asked that, a tear suddenly drops again from his eyes.

I became speechless and just stared at him.

"Or maybe, just tell me if you really love me or you love Yux---", he got cut off because I speak.

"I love you, Cheng.", I answered.

I felt tears in my eyes, but I'm holding it in.

"I will not choose you because I love you and I will not choose you even more just because I need to choose you... ", I paused.

I hold his cheeks and wipe his tears using my thumb before speaking.

"... I'll choose you because I chose to love you.", I said.

I smiled at him.