When It Rains || ENGVER

12 : Sorry For Making You Cry

(A/N: A very short update. I'm really sorry, readers. BTW, listen to Nana's cover of Lovin' You by Minnie Riperton. I put the video above the chapter title.)

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YUXIN'S POV

I slowly hear her guitar when she began strumming... after a few strums, she started to sing.

"Lovin' you is easy 'cause you're beautiful"

After hearing the first line, I immediately look at her.

It's quite a shock because she's the first auditionee who sang with a calm voice... she makes it sound effortlessly. Mostly auditionees' voice is high. But her? Her voice is chill, so calm.

"Makin' love with you is all I wanna do"

She's already in her second line, but I can't take my eyes off of her. Most of the time, I don't look at the auditionees when they sing because I want to focus on their voice. But her???

What the hell is she doing to me? I felt like she's pulling me into her, to watch while listening to her.

"Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true"

At her third line, I just notice that she's only looking at me from the time when she started singing, I don't even know why but...

... I'm falling into her gaze.

"And everything that I do..."

My head shakes. What kind of stupidity does my eyes want??? What the hell is falling into a gaze??? Gosh! I feel so tired. Maybe, I just need some rest.

"... is out of lovin' y—"

I look at my paper before speaking.

"Stop.", then I nodded.

Why is it like this??? Why have I felt like this??? I put my hand on my chest. Suddenly, my heart beats faster.

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I just sighed. This can't be, I need to fail her to prevent myself from seeing her.

"Pass", Yuyan said. So, I look at her.

"No!", I said with emphasis. She looks at me... I look around and I was shock because it's not only her, but even Linong, Jiaqi, Keyin, and Anqi are also looking at me.

"Why? She's good. We need a voice like her.", Yuyan said.

"Did she dance? No, right? We need someone who can dance and sing at the same time, Yuyan.", I said.

"She can practice it, Yuxin.", Anqi said and I look down to avoid their gazes.

"I'm the CEO, so, I should be the one who decides.", I said with emphasis again.

"If that's what you want then you shouldn't tell us to come here just to help you in the first place... If you're the only one who will decide!", Yuyan said with irritated tone of voice.

"Calm down, guys.", Keyin said trying to calm us down.

We didn't respond to her and just stayed quiet.

"Yuxin, I think Yuyan is right. We need a singer like her.", Keyin added.

"And Anqi also has a point. Dance can be learnt by practicing hard.", Jiaqi said in a convincing way.

I put my hands on the table abruptly while still looking down.

"You all take care of it first. I need to leave."

After saying that, I immediately stand up to leave.

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But I realized that before I reach the door, I need to pass by that girl because the doorway is on the back.

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I walk and pass her...

"Sorry.", she suddenly said that made me stop from walking.

I slightly look at my side to see her, but she's looking at me... so, I saw that there's a tear flowed down from her eyes. Because of that, I look in my front. She sheds tears easily.

"You've passed, so, you don't need to cry.", I said and was about to walk again, but I was stunned when she suddenly holds on my shirt (lower back part).

Despite of what she did, I still didn't look at her.

"I didn't cry because you don't like to pass me. I cried because... you look like you hated me. What did I do wrong? Is it because I didn't dance?", she asked.

I didn't respond and just kept my posture.

"Ms. Yuxin, I want to answer Ms. Jiaqi's question earlier, but you suddenly speak like you don't want to hear it... What should I do? I want you to hear that...", she paused.

I already have a clue about what she wants to say. I don't want to hear it because I don't want to make her think that I'm entertaining her or giving her a hope without assurance. But I admit, there's a part in my heart that says just let her say what she wants to say.

... I don't know why, but I kinda choose to listen to her.

"I like you. I really really like you, to the point that I want to do everything that I can just to go near you.", she said in a way that pain that she feels can be heard.

"... I hope you'll give me a chance.", she added hopingly.

I sighed before speaking.

"Just go...", I paused. I'm thinking of some words that can make her feel less pain.

"...and find someone better, we don't deserve each other...", I said.

"But...", she got cut off when I began reaching her hands on my lower back part shirt and remove it from holding slowly.

"I didn't disturb someone just to be rejected, Yuxin.", she suddenly said.

I turned to face her. I look at her eyes, but...

... I was startled when I felt like my heart that already has a big crack is now breaking into pieces after seeing her eyes with full of sadness.

How can a bubbly and lovely girl's eyes looks so sad??? Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this???

I force myself to hide that I'm feeling weak because of her sad eyes. I can't be weak now.

I pull myself together before speaking.

"You're too good for me and I'm too bad for you... Nana", I said, and I immediately turn around and started to leave.

I have no idea of the reason why I feel hurt and why my tears fall from my eyes, but... I suddenly think of a reason.

'I'm sorry, Nana. I have something that I need to protect...

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... and that's my heart.'

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