The Best Story Ever (New)

Parte One: The Real Chapter 1

Author Note: Do you ever wish your English teacher never told you to start a story with "do you ever wish"? Well, I'm about to make your dreams come true...

Do you ever wish you were like somebody else? This person could be anyone! Someone whom you admire, someone who might have everything, even a random person? Well, I'm going to tell you a person you would never wish to be is me.

Hi, my name's Martin and I am the epitome of normal. I am so bland and boring that I even have people call me lame behind my back constantly. My entire life has always been: "Wow Martin! You're such an example person!" Or "Hey Martin! It's cool how you just live your life and never do anything!" And do you want to know what the saddest part is?! There is only one thing, and one thing only that is abnormal about me:

My hair is dark ocean blue.

Ever since I can remember, my hair has always been this dark nautical blue colour. From the time I was a baby to my teenage years, this ridiculous blue hair has plagued me. I have visited countless doctors, specialist, and even pharmacist, but they all agree that nothing can be done about my ocean-coloured head. They told me that blue hair isn't a disease worth treating. However, despite my blue-hairitus, my life up until this point has been extrodinarily normal. Too normal.

Sadly, I do not think there is anything I can do to cure my normal. Like my blue hair, my normal seems to be rooted into me like a thick bush of thorns. Actually, speaking of thorns, I need to start packing my trousers and watering can for school.

You see, where I live everyone is a farmer. Everyone in the entire town goes by "farmer this" and "farmer that". The only other job in the entire county is a teacher or a doctor. Doctor Billy Bob has been serving this community for over 70 years. Most of the time if there is ever a real emergency, his role is to just call a real doctor from the city.

Anyway, I go to pick up the rest of my equipment and head off to school. I don't need to say goodbye to anyone in my house since my auntie leaves for work around 6:00 to plow the farm. Anyway, as I was saying, Mc Henry County school isn't exactly what you would call a pretty sight. The entirety of the school consist of one brick building that is falling apart at its seems. The third floor has been completely boarded up and the playground is just an empty field with small patches of grass surrounding it. I'm supprised no children have gotten asbestos yet.

When I finally arrive at the entrance of the school, I am greeted by my bullies, Bradly and Trout. Trout laughes and mocks me by saying, "Well if it isn't little Marty boy? I thought you would have ran away to go live with your family!". Bradly chirps in, "Oh wait?! He doesn't have a family! He's a orphan!". By this time Bradly and Trout are both cackling loudly together like old drunk women sitting on a porch. I try to walk away from them quickly, but before I can, I am hit directly in the eye with a juicy spit ball.

"Noice shot!" Bradly says. "Haha, yeah, I bet Martin is too boring to even notice!" I cant even pretend that what they said makes any sense because my body is already inside of my first hour classroom. "Good Morning!" Mr. Buzzleboop says to me. "Good morning" I say back to him.

Mr. Buzzelboop is one of the only teachers in the school. He teaches everything from math to farming. I soon find my desk in the corner of the room and take a seat. I like this spot for two reasons: A- I am right next to the window and B- I sit right next to the prettiest girl in school.

"Good morning Mr. Buzzleboop!" I hear her say. "Good morning Jessica! Did you finish your homework last night?" Mr. Buzzleboop asks. "Nope!" She chirps and then takes a seat next to me. I turn my face towards Jessica. Her curly brown hair turns lighter in the sunlight, causing her brown eyes to sparkle like shiney glistening beer bottles.

"H-howdy" I say to Jessica. She smiles back and gives a quick and friendly hello. Mr. Buzzleboop then turns to the class and begins his lesson on how to properly harvest carrots. I am usually a straight A student, however, today I can only seem to focus on Jessica. The way she takes notes so carefully and how she bites her lip when she is thinking sends me into a dreamy mood.

When class finally ends, Mr. Buzzleboop calls me to the front of the room. "Martin," he hollars to me, "Are you okay? You seemed distracted during class today. Is everything alright? You know, you can talk to me about anything," he continues. I prepare to assure him that I am fine, when instead I decide to tell him the truth. I say to him, "Well, actually, I was a little distracted today because, well, there's this one girl I like, and..."

"A-ha!" Mr. Buzzleboop shouts, "That makes perfect sense! I was a little concerned when you were dazing off like you were about to have an episode. But that makes much more sense now!" "Well, anyway," I say to Mr. Buzzleboop, "In your experience how do I should get her to notice me?"

Mr. Buzzleboop thinks hard for a moment and then says, "Well, there are two things you must do in order to win her heart..." I listen carefully to what he says. "Number one, you must never, EVER! Ask for her weight..." I nodd. "And number two!" He continues, "You must ask her out to a dance! All of the ladies love that! If you complete those two things, what happened with me and my x wife will certainly not happen to you!" I am insanely grateful for Mr. Buzzleboops advice, so I scream a loud thank you to him and leap out the door to my home.

Once I am there, I find my calender as fast as I can an write down in big, bold red letters:

July 5th; ask out Jessica to the Vidalia Dance.

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