Sooo....
Today I felt absolutely awful, I could barely move, my whole body hurt, I felt weak and my voice was dead. I still went for a walk and cried the whole way.. at some point I couldn't go anymore and had to sit down. Eventually I got home and cried so long. I couldn't go longer without food, I was miserable. I know I'm weak but I really couldn't take it anymore.
I started eating and I ate;
- crackers w peanut butter
- 2 vegan burgers
- 3 Apple's
- half a noodles packet
- nuts
It's not too bad but it's still so many calories. I'm quite worried but I feel better. I am very bloated though and I hope that if I fasts tonight until Monday morning, I can still be underweight. I was 55 kilos but after eating I was 57 hahah I know that's not my actual weight but I do know that I gained more than I would normally because my body gains much faster after fasting/restricting.
Tomorrow I'm going ice skating with my family and best friend. I look forward to that.
Im still in The Hague, I decided not to go home but just visit home tmr.
It's so awesome that it finally froze again!! Last time was 3 years ago, when I came home from my first skitrip in the first year. I like skating, I'll find out how many calories it burns:)
YOU ARE READING
Diary of an anorexic
Non-FictionI use this as my diary. I write down all my thoughts and I hope it'll help me.
