Today I hate my ed. I usually love it. And I was so motivated at the start of this week. What happened? I want to eat again today.
I ate thursday, Friday, and now Saturday as well? I don't know what to do. I want to be skinny but I'm not and my body upsets me so much that I want to comfort eat ugh. What if I eat today and Monday I'll do well. I will lose weight. But I know I can't trust myself. I always end up eating. I just want to be 50 kilos now.
I'm too depressed to get out of bed. I did wash my hair but then went back. Now at 4 o clock I finally went downstairs. I didn't want to but okay. I don't feel like seeing my family ugh.
And we're eating soup tonight. I hate soup, it's disgusting. My dad thinks he can cook but he just can't. He makes the worst dishes and it usually doesn't taste good either.
I know soup often doesn't have that many calories so I should be happy but, I need my calories to be worth it. I would never spend my calories on something I don't like. If I eat, it has to be good. That's why I hate when my father cooks.
YOU ARE READING
Diary of an anorexic
Non-FictionI use this as my diary. I write down all my thoughts and I hope it'll help me.
