Diary of an anorexic

Saturday 21.02.13

Things I missed out on

So this morning I still weighed 55!!! That made me very happy.

My plan for today was to go home go ice skating with my family, join a AFS meet and then skate with my best friend. I went to walk to the metro station but I didn't have any masks. So I should buy some but 1. I didn't have enough money and 2. My anxiety was so bad and I just couldn't go there with people and having to talk to people. So I called my mum but of course she didn't want to pick me up. Then my dad got super mad all of sudden and said I was too irresponsible because I didn't know where my ID was. It was in my mum her bag, how tf was I supposed to know? It's not my fucking fault. My dad drinks too much lately, he barely sleeps, eats way too much. But that he eats so much is kind of motivating in a way. I know it wrong of me but it's just disgusting how much he eats. I also find the sounds of some of my family members eating very gross. When I here that, my appetite goes away.

Okay so eventually my mum picked me up. I got home and my siblings were already skating so I knew that when I finally had time after afs, they would be done:( so I said that to my sister and she promised me that she would skate with me after. AFS was fun but then I went skating.
I had one round w my sister and then she left. As I expected. I did go more with my brother. Unfortunately my other brother hurt himself so I couldn't go with him.

Then I talked to my brother who knows about my ed. I have been stressed out these days because of the clinic and my mum doesn't even care. I didn't want to go back to The Hague that day, I wanted to have fun. So my brother said he wasn't gonna force me to eat so I decided to stay at his house. Tomorrow I'm going to The Hague and pack. Then at night I'm going home after I bought binge food in the shops heh.
Then it's Monday...