Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart (H.S / A.G)

19. Jax

(Ariana's POV)

It was the next morning, cat spent the night at Zayns so I woke up alone in our dorm. I didn't mind as she did tell me!

I roll over and open my phone to see it was 6am.. god why I am up so early!

I walk into the bathroom and wash my face with some warm water. I look up at myself in the mirror and brush my hair into a ponytail.

Staring at the imperfections I can't help but judge myself.

I overcame my fear of making friends but I am still very much afraid of the fear I have of my own self. I was a danger to myself.

My phones lights up and I smile

Mumsy🤍:
Hi Darling, your prescriptions are ready to collect from the reception. There's also a little something from me in your little parcel. I love you so much and can't wait to see you in half term.

I smile to myself and reply

Me:
Hi Mummma, thank you for getting this to me. I love and miss you too.

I was going to head to lesson early so I could go and pick up my parcel from reception.

Looking back up at myself I took a deep breathe before taking my pyjama top off followed by the rest of the clothing I was wearing and turned on the shower. Before I stepped in I judged my bare body in the reflection.

I was never going to feel good enough.

I gently rub my hand over the top of one of my thighs feeling the scars I caused myself.

I was disappointed in myself for what I had done because it made me feel even more ugly. It's why my new coping mechanism have turned internal rather than physical.

I step into the shower letting the warm water soak my petite delicate body.

After awhile I step out the shower drying my hair and body with the towel before putting a fresh pair of underwear on with a oversized white hoodie and a pair of plain black shape leggings.

I wasn't ready to wear revealingly or fitted outfits for an entire day.

I apply some light makeup and text Cat that I may not be in the dorm for when she gets back.

I grab my bag and sling it over my shoulder before grabbing my phone and leaving. As I got closer to the exit of the building I hear a lot of loud noise. It was very unusual for this time of the morning.

As I walk outside of the music block the cool air hits my face and the door shuts behind me.
I look in the direction of the noise to see two figures, one with a very bloody nose and the other towering above them.

The two figures jump and look in my direction.. Harry!?

"What the fuck are you doing up so early?" Harry calls dropping the boy to the ground.

"Why the fuck are you hurting him!?" I ask with widen eyes.

As he approaches I see the blood on his fists and can't help but get images in my head of my thighs after I've hurt myself...

"Business. Okay ?" Harry says firmly.

"What kind of sick business involves hurting others like that?" I ask shocked seeing the other guy rush off away from Harry.