Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart (H.S / A.G)

39. Im Sorry

(Harrys POV)

"I don't feel good" Ariana sighs and holds her stomach.

"Okay okay, follow me" I sigh and run a hand through my hair and lead Ariana up another floor of dorms.

Me:
Zayn, cat has their dorm key and Ariana is feeling ill. I'm going to take her to our dorm so there's no vomit in the halls!

Z:
Oh shit and yeah no problem. I'm not sure how long we will be so if needs be let Ariana sleep in my bed and I'll crash in their dorm.

Urgh, that's not what I meant.

I lead Ariana to my dorm and pull out my dorm key letting her in. I hope it wasn't a mess.

I open the door and lead her inside first and help her straight to the bathroom which was surprisingly clean for Zayn and I. She instantly notices the toilet and approaches it falling to her knees and throwing up.

I sigh and look at her, she looked broken. I have never seen this side to her. She had tear stained makeup and her petite figure looked weak.

I leave her in the bathroom briefly, as she needed to be sick, I quickly tidy the room as I walk towards the kitchen and grab a glass and fill it with water and get a packet of paracetamol out the cupboard and head back.

I put the glass on the side as well as the tablets and then step back leaning against the door frame.

"Are you okay?" I ask looking down at her. She wasn't throwing up anymore.

She doesn't even turn to look at me but she sits back on her knees and puts her head in her hands and starts crying.

"Ariana hey" I say and squat down beside her "you're okay, okay?" I'm really not good at this am I....

"I can't do this again Alfie" she cries "I can't go back down this hole, I can't!" She sobs.

Alfie?

I don't question it, yet.

"Why is it me? Why is it when I'm starting to feel happy again, it's me" she cries. She definitely had something in her system.

"Ariana here" I say and hand her the glass of water and two paracetamols.

She wipes her eyes smearing her makeup slightly and puts the pills in her mouth and downs the water.

"You don't have your dorm key so I can't let you into yours but if you need to use my bathroom and crash here it's okay" I say seriously. For the first time I felt an emotion towards her I haven't ever felt before.

Ariana took my jacket off of her shoulders and handed it to me and then took her heels off. Jesus they were high.

She looked at me emotionlessly, what happened Ariana..

"If you wouldn't mind, I can just clean myself up and then wait for cat" she says slurred slightly.

"Yeah of course. Bathroom is the same as yours, just obviously not your products.. but urgh, yeah just do what you need" I say and take her heels and leave them by the main door.

I leave the bathroom and shut the door behind me and heard Ariana turn the lock.

I heard the shower start and walk into my dorm area sitting on the end of my bed. I was feeling a way I had never felt before, that's before i felt my body fill with anger. How could Noah fuck up what he had starting with Ariana over some random girl? How could he hurt her like that? Why would he hurt her like that?

I wanted to beat the shit out of him the second I saw what was going on, but that wouldn't help the situation and Ariana didn't need that.

I sigh and run my hand through my hair, I was in a situation and didn't know what to do. I didn't like not having control of my emotions.

After awhile Ariana was done in the bathroom as I heard her soft damaged voice call "Harry?"

"Urgh yeah" I say and walk over to the bathroom.

She unlocks the door and barely opens it slowly peeping around the side "I haven't got any clothes..."

Now usually this would be the time my dirty mind and cocky side would love to be making jokes, but that didn't even cross my mind in this situation.

"Ohh I ugh, hang on!" I say and walk back into my room. I had some of Kendals clothes here, but that would not go down well.

I rummage through my drawer not really knowing what I'm looking for but find an old retro band t shirt that would do the job. I notice over at zayns side of the dorm cat had left a bag so I took a quick look inside and found a pair of shorts she could also borrow. I know cat wouldn't mind.

I walk back over to the bathroom and hand her the clothes, which she takes.

A few minutes later she opens the door and steps out in the shorts and t shirt, not that you could see the shorts as my top fell to just above her knees.

Her hair was down, damp and slightly wavy and her big brown eyes looked dull and emotionless. She looked pale and just overall broken.

"Do you need anything else?" I ask.

She looks up at me and makes eye contact and her eyes fill with tears but I can tell she's using everything inside of her to hold it back but honestly she looks like she's about to burst out crying. She was also still very much out of it.

I walk over to her and put an arm around her back again and lead her into the bedroom area where she takes a seat on the end of my bed and I sit opposite her on zayns.

"This life isn't good you know, please, Alfie will tell you" she says and puts her head in her hands again. Her hands never once stopped shaking, only slowed down.

Alfie again?

She was quietly crying.

"Ariana, as long as your okay?" I say genuinely.

"Nothings okay Harry!" She says looking up at me with tears falling down her cheeks. "And it's MY fault." She cries.

"Ariana? What's your fault?" I ask shocked.

She doesn't answer. She just sobs.

I have never seen a girl this broken.

I move over and sit next to her putting an arm around her and pulling her into me. She needed some sort of comfort and neither cat and Danny were sober enough for this, I don't even know where they are !

She felt so tense, despite it taking a lot for me to attempt to comfort someone it was if she didn't want to be comforted, almost as if she didn't want to be helped.

Regardless I couldn't see someone sit alone crying in the state they were in and not do anything. Not that I knew what to do.

Sitting here holding Ariana made me remember the day I was scrolling through her Instagram and saw her smiling for real, it made me realise Ariana has never been real here. She's put on an amazing act, strong, cocky and confident but under those layers she's this...small, broken, scared and scarred.

After a while I felt Ariana's body relax more and more until I realised she was asleep. Zayn and cat had still not returned and I couldn't wait any longer. I picked Ariana up and moved her back on my bed and put the duvet over her.

I didn't want her to wake up and be startled so I took the sofa.

She's going to feel very rough tomorrow morning and probably not expect to be here....

// thanks for reading part 39.