The Dream

It's getting worse

She didn't leave her room for almost a week. She never used to speak to anyone. Even with yoongi, she used to speak in one words. It kinda hurt him, because, he thought she would talk to him, at least.

The boys were really confused. They didn't know what to do. They felt helpless!
Akshaya came now and then, to see her, but every time she tried to talk to her, silence was her only reply.

One time, they saw Akshaya cry, after returning from her room. She was hurt, really hurt.

They watched, as she rushed through the door, with tears in her eyes.

Hobi ran behind her, and found her breaking down near her car. He tried to console her, but she burst out into tears. Finding her bestie in such a situation was heart breaking.

Akshaya and Criss never had a fight. Not even an argument. Some say that if there are small disagreements and fights in a relationship, it will be stronger.
But both Akshaya and Criss 's relationship proved that, even if there are zero disagreements and fights, the bond will be strong.

And, when they have a relationship like that, she felt extra hurt, when she wasn't talking to her.
But still, she used to come each day, and try to make her talk.

It was a day like that. Akshaya had finished her work for the day, and she went straight to Criss 's home.

'Hey guys! Did she eat today? '

She asked, as she walked through the door, and removed her coat, hanging it on the coat holder.

'She drank some soup, in the morning. Other than that, nothing.. '

Jin said, as he was cleaning up the kitchen.
He sounded defeated whenever he talked about Criss. It sounded like he didn't know what else to do with her. He loved her. Of course he did! But right now, he was confused. They all were!

The doctor had said that her depression will go away within a couple of months. And they still had time. But, this was too much to handle, even for a day. They couldn't wait for this depressing period to be over.

'I'll go check on her. '

Akshaya said, while going towards her room.

'You'll be there for tea right? '

'Yep! '

She answered, before entering her room.

Criss was in her usual position, looking outside the window, in her own world.

No one knew what she was thinking about all the time. Even she herself didn't know what she was thinking. Her mind would would always branch off, and sometimes, she wouldn't even realise how the time passes away so fast.

'Hey.. '

Akshaya called her out, while walking closer.
Criss didn't even flinch when she heard her voice. She knew Akshaya would come at this particular time of the day. She wasn't expecting her, but she actually wasn't in a mood to talk to someone right now. She never was in a mood to talk to someone. She rarely spoke to someone, even though she knew that the boys and Akshaya was dying to hear her talk.

She felt hurt. She felt like she was hurting them. Even though that was the truth, and she was helpless about it, she always felt like she don't deserve such precious angels in her life.

She never talked to Akshaya since the start of depression period, but she always came, sat with her for almost 2 hours, tried to make her feel better. She used to do that regularly, even though even she knows that Criss isn't gonna utter a word, she never quits, which made her feel worse.

Sometimes she had suicidal tendencies. Once, when Kookie came to check on her, and tried to make her eat something, he saw the cuts she made in her wrist. He asked her about it, but she didn't say anything.

He was sobbing next to her, but still she didn't react. The rest of them came after hearing his sobs, and once they knew why he was crying, they looked at her, shocked.

They quickly removed all the stuff, that could be harmful, from the room, and asked her, more like begged her not to do it again.

Tears were streaming down her eyes, but she had an expressionless face.

No one understood what was happening. They knew that suicidal tendencies was part of depression, but, seeing her expressionless, when Kookie was crying right in front of her, confused them.

She wasn't even trying to console him!

They took him with them, and even though they wanted to talk her about it, they choose not to. Cause they knew it wouldn't change anything.

Coming back to the present, Akshaya was talking to her about her day, and Criss just sat there, looking out of the window.

Akshaya never lost hope. Call her stubborn. She would accept that level with all her heart. Because she knew she was, at least in her case.

The news of Criss 's health condition was all over internet. The Army was worried about her, and the boys too. Cause they knew taking care of someone with extreme depression is not an easy task.

The boys weren't active in social media too. Big hit used to post tweets, saying that they were ok, and everything was getting better. But the Army knew them, quite well actually.
If everything was well, then they would be active on social media. At least once in a weak , one of them would post something, since they liked to converse with the armies.

But, there was nothing on social media, from any of them.

Army was sending them soo much love, and blessings, and the only good news out of this terrible news was that, more people were part of the BTS army now. But, it didn't matter right. What mattered now was the health condition.

After almost speaking to Criss for 2 hours, Akshaya looked at her, with hopeful eyes, to see if she had any emotion in her eyes. But, as usual, she saw the same blank, emotionless eyes, staring out of the window.

Akshaya tried hard to hold back her tears. She didn't cry anymore, since she knew, her crying, isn't gonna change anything. She tried nit to cry in front of her, but sometimes, it just slipped off her eyes.

'You know what, I'll let you rest for a while now. Bye bye. Miss you. '

She said, while kissing her forehead.

She left the room, and went downstairs, were everyone was doing some random things.

'Did she talk to you today? '

Yoongi asked as she sat near him. Curiosity clearly written all over his words.

Akshaya shook her head, and he looked down, disappointed.

Akshaya patted his shoulder, and gave him a small smile. He smiled back, and they went back to watching TV.