The Dream

The secret depression

Everything was going really good, until one particular day something happened.
Criss was a little taken aback, when she received an email from her mother. It was totally unexpected. She didn't communicate with her parents much. Her parents, especially her father, didn't like her choice of going into the film industry. He wanted her to pursue as a lawyer. But Criss, being a rebel, as she always was, didn't actually go according to other' s wishes.
But, her mother always supported her actions, cause she knew, that she was mature enough to decide what was good for her.
Her mother was running a housekeeping company, and it was quite successful. Her father was a business man, whose business wasn't going much well.
He didn't like her communicating with her daughter. Because she wasn't having a life he wished for.
So she must have written this mail without his knowledge.

Dear muthu,
I know you are still angry with me for not leaving Pappa. It's not that easy you see. I can't leave him like that. Not yet...

She stopped reading at that exact moment. She knew what she was gonna say next. That was one the mysteries she didn't understand till now. After everything he had done to them, she was still ready to forgive him? And for what? Whenever she asked this to her mother, she didn't reply to her. It seemed like even she didn't know why she forgave him.
So she replied to her email. Like this:
Dear mamma,
First of all, I have to be honest with you that I didn't read your email completely. Because I knew what you are gonna say next. And, to be truthful, I'm not interested in talking about him anymore.
But, I want to ask you something. We are having a concert in Seoul, next Saturday. I really want you to come. I don't care if he doesn't come with you. I just want you there. I guess you might have already heard the news that I'm a member of BTS. You know how much I love them. I feel so much like home with them. I feel more comfortable, and at peace when I'm with them, 7 boys, who doesn't even have any blood relation with me. But they are practically my brothers. I feel so loved, the feeling I never got when I was with my real family.
Can you please come to the concert. I'll send you the tickets, and I'll arrange for your stay.
Please.

She ended the mail with a request. She had already asked her mother so many times before . But she never came. She wasn't having much hope this time too. But, she felt like asking, so she did.
She wasn't feeling good after that. She was not in a mood to joke around, or even to talk to anyone. She tried to look happy as much as possible. She didn't feel like sharing her troubles with the boys. Not yet. She didn't know why she didn't wanna share this with them. Because they practically shared everything with each other.
'I'll share everything with them, not yet. ' she said to herself.

Time skip
After one month

It was the day of their concert. It was in the morning. Almost around 10 in the morning.
Everyone was busy with the makeup and practise. Criss was wondering whether her mother will come or not. She knew that she won't be coming, since if she was coming, she would have called her, saying she was here. 'Maybe she wanna give a surprise.. ' she tried to console herself. Hobi noticed that she was uneasy from the morning. Usually she wasn't nervous before getting on stage, because she was the one always running around and making everyone feel at ease. She was always excited to perform on stage.
But today, she looked scared, and nervous. 'This doesn't look good'. Hobi thought to himself. He sat next to her, he noticed that she didn't even notice him sitting next to her.
'Haenbog-ah! ' he called her. She slightly flinched. 'Oh god Hobi! ' she said, clenching her heart. She giggled, and continued, 'I didn't notice you. ' she said, smiling. Hobi smiled back, and slowly asked her, 'Are you ok? You seem nervous. I have never seen you be nervous before. You are always the excited one, calming down our nervess. ' he said. Hobi always understood when Criss was sad, or angry, or when she wasn't feeling that good. He was really good at reading people like an open book.
'Oh! I'm ok. I feel like I didn't practise enough. That's why I'm nervous. ' she lied, trying to make it as believable as possible. He thought for a second, and then nodded slowly. It was true that she didn't practise as hard as before, because she was really busy with her law firm.
But she knew it was enough for her to present a decent performance.
'Don't overthink about it kiddo. You know you can nail it! You are the best out there! ' he encouraged her. She smiled . She felt guilty for lying to him. She wished she could share everything with them. But, not now.
While they were performing, she desperately searched for her mother. It was large crowd, so she had to look really carefully. But she knew she wouldn't be there. That broke her heart. Jin 's parents had came to watch the concert. He waved at them, and called her to show his parents. She bowed in respect.
After the concert, everyone met his parents, and communicated with them for quite sometime.
'Haenbog-ah, you've grown! ' Jin 's mom said, patting her head. She smiled in return. The boys laughed when she said that. 'Mom! She's 21! She had stopped growing since she was 18! ' he said. She gave him a glare, and continued to talk to her.
When they reached the dorm it was almost in the evening.

'I'll be there, in the studio'. She said, because she wanted a space alone to cry her eyes out. She knew she wasn't gonna show, but it still broke her heart.
The boys nodded in reply.
When she reached the studio, there wasn't anyone there. She actually tried to focus on the dance, since she knew she's gonna be really busy with law firm work, and wouldn't get much time to practise.
She started to dance, but soon she crumbled into a mess, and sat in the corner of the room. She hugged her knees, and started to cry her eyes out. She didn't care if anyone barged in right now, and saw her breaking down. She had to let herself out. She's been trying to hold it in for really long.

Just then she heard someone open the door, and some rushed footsteps towards her.
She felt someone lift her chin up, and saw a familiar pair of eyes. If was Yoongi. He looked at her worried. He hugged her close to his heart, and started shaking her back and forth.
'What happened sweetheart? ' he asked really calm and sweet. 'She didn't come! She never did, and she never will! Why does she hate me soo much! ' she almost screamed while sobbing into his chest.
He was totally confused from what she said. But he didn't say anything. 'Shhh... It's ok. I'm here. It's ok. Calm down baby.. ' he said, calmly, relax her down a bit.

After sometime, he saw that she relaxed down, 'Are you ok? ' he asked. She nodded in return. He handed her another tissue. 'Thanks' she said. He nodded.
Then he asked, 'About whom were you saying back then? '. She looked down, knowing that she had to say this to someone. 'About my mother. I had asked her to come to the concert. She had never come to any of my live performances or anything like that... ' she explained everything to him. He only nodded in reply. He didn't know what else to do.
In the last he said, 'You know you can trust me right? ' . He had a worried look on his face. She smiled in return, and said, 'I do. Just don't leave me. ' she asked with pleading eyes. 'Never! ' he replied with a smile.