A promise to kill

to the heavens (edited)

When I first joined the crew, I instantly, almost spontaneously knew that I was the weakest, most useless member of the crew. There wasn't much that I knew how to do on a ship to begin with. At first, I was sent to the medical bay, to Noda, to learn and work with him but he quickly kicked me out because I would watch over his shoulder and he hated that more than anything in the world, it's his reason for never marrying or having kids. I was then sent to clean the deck with the young cabin boys but was told off by a pirate named Wire for taking too long on a single corner. I'd spent to long, meticulously cleaning a single corner of the deck all the while the others had finished cleaning the rest of the deck in half the time.
        Then finally, most everyone on the ship realized that I was mentally hard wired to do everything as perfectly as physically possible. As a result, Kid, our captain, eventually decided to simply keep me by his side as a sort of assistant or I guess an easier more accurate way to explain the position would be that I was his dog except with that role, came the need to learn how to fight.
        He gave me two pieces of advice. "You have to remember that without the will to fight, you might as well already be dead." Is what he told me as he handed me a gun for the first time. Then as I inspected the weapon he told me the second. "Don't even think about looking down the barrel." Which turned out to be two very important and helpful pieces of advice.
I thought that Kid would be the one to teach me but I was naive to think that the captain would take time out of his day to train me. He evidently sent me off to the deck, set up bottles on the railing and told me that I'm not to come inside until I've shot all of them down from the mast.
        Twice, I'd almost shot myself while trying to steady footing while the ship waned back and forth with the rough weather and waves. Even when the skies started to shed tears in the form of rain, he didn't let me inside. Drenched, he still had be shooting at glass bottles on the railing. I'd shot multiple bottles down by pure luck or accident but as it got windier and even colder, those lucky shots started to miss.
        For a few minutes in the afternoon, he stalked out to watch me but by that time, I had already stood in the rain until my lips were blue and my whole person shook violently like our sails downing a storm.
        Sighing, he stood behind me slightly shielding me from the pelting rain. "Aim." He said and with one arm, he steadied my arms. " and shoot." As he says this, I pull the trigger, and for the first time that day, I had been able to shoot a bottle on purpose unlike the previous accidentally shot ones. We do this for another 3 times and finally, I'd finished. I go to turn but suddenly feel the warmth of another being pulling me against themselves.
        " Good job. Didn't think you'd stick with it." He hums leading me out of the rain. My teeth chattered ruthlessly, so much so that if my tongue were between them, I'm sure that I would have bitten it off.
        " Lady." He calls me. Maybe to make fun or to tease me, maybe he was simply trying to lighten the mood, but he called me Lady.
        "You'll finish another day." He tightly wraps his coat around me before throwing his large, heavy arm around my shoulder as well, all the while leading me towards the mess hall to grab our dinner. Along the way, I met a man that I hadn't seen for days. Killer.
        " Layla, how was the rain?" The amusement was clear in his voice. Captain coughs to try and hide his laugh but I hear it before he can mask it.
        " It was very unpleasant if you must know. I felt that I had suddenly become one with the wind and sky, being pulled one way then the other. The waves even bathed me in the oceans love, so much so that I'm sure that with the amount of salt present on my skin, not even the sea kings would want a piece of me." I explained in a matter of fact sort of way and well, the whole room burst out laughing finding this all quite funny and as they laughed, I couldn't help but smile because while they laughed, all seemed well in the world. When they smiled, something inside of me became warm and I didn't mind the cold as much and the rain, pounding on the deck above seemed all the more pleasant. From the man beside me, I could feel him struggling to contain his own laughter, chest shaking and a quiet chuckle. All seemed well when the people around me laughed and smiled, like nothing could go wrong.
        Perhaps it was a sense of familiarity to my childhood or the pleasantries of companionship but I remember that at the time, i had been attached to these men like a barnacle to the haul of a ship. I depended on them so much that I could not imagine a life without them. They were not my master, or father, or brother, but internally, they had become the sun and moon of my world, simply because I had not known how to live the life of freedom, the life of a pirate.     
        I would give an arm and a leg, maybe even an eye, to relive those days again. Times were much simpler in those days. We simply lived freely, sailing to where ever treasure laid, guided by the winds and sky, we were free.
        It wasn't long after I joined, maybe a few days at the most, that the world government had declared for us, the notorious Kid pirates from South Blue, to be eradicated. Ships sent out by the government shot at any ship hailing a Jolly Rodger. Unlike us, some ships, cowards, abandoned their pride as pirates, took down their flags while other were shot down by cannons. More than not, crews were captured and killed. You may or may not know but this was the era of when many captains proclaimed a single promise.
        'If I'm captured and my flag be torn down, better I be swallowed by the sea with her. She be my life, my most precious partner.'
        To every captain who sank with his ship, it was said that other ships shot a single round into the sky in honor, for your not a real pirate if you let your ship be taken from you. A real pirate, a real captain, will go down with his ship. I didn't understand this at the time but what led me to believe those words, I will never forget, because it was my first battle as a true pirate.
        That day had started off just as any other but at the first sign of the sun descending from her throne high in the sky, Killer had somehow convinced our captain to sail as fast as the wind could carry us, away from our pursuers. Cannons were fired in every which way and orders were yelled from all direction. Our ship, Victoria Punk, couldn't take on anymore fire and finally our captain decided to take them on. As they got closer, we made haste to board their ship, and on their deck, you'd best believe blood was shed.
        In all my years, even as a slave, I had never seen so much blood run. I didn't even have the time to process my first kill. I had shot the man in his chest and he had stared up at me with such terrified eyes, as if I were a real life monster, yet I couldn't grieve or stand in shock. I couldn't give him even a moment of remorse before I was forced to fire my weapon once again.
        In all honesty, the battle had lasted a mere hour at the very most but to the one's who fought for their life, it felt like we spent hours, or days fighting, to kill or be killed. For us, the pirates, we were fighting for her, our Victoria, because the sound of the wind in her sails, the thundering crash of waves hitting her side, and even our battle cries, they were our song of freedom.
        My body ached from head to toe but i was relieved because the pain meant that I am still alive. I was afraid but that fear only meant that I still had much to lose. I'm sure that once my body heals, I'd have many scars but that simply proves that I was stronger than any of my foes.
        " Lady. Come get your cut of the loot or you won't have any!" Captain yelled at me from where the crew had uncovered a stash of valuables from inside the enemy ship. I watched all the men racing to get even a handful of goods before the higher ups of the crew stash the whole chest away. Maybe it was the fact that I was a slave, or maybe because I never had the need for money, but nothing about the glittering gold and the sparkling jewels appealed to me. I couldn't say that I desired it in any way.
        " I don't want any." This one line makes them all look my way and laugh.
        " You're a pirate Layla! What pirate doesn't want treasure?" One of the other pirates get's out between his desperate breathes for air as he laugh. The rest of the crew snickering amongst themselves. Utterly confused, I gave them the best smile I could muster and as they look my way, they slowly go silent as if my confusion was contagious. I could feel their eyes watching my every move as I got up to walk away, determined to get away from any further questions or comments.
        " Then what is it that you want?" His voice resonates in the silence. It forced me to stop and look back at the man who spoke. He stood there with so much authority in his form. Not an ounce of doubt or fear. Killer, a man much larger than I, not a speck of blood on his person, stood above the others crouched by the many treasures at his feet. He didn't spare them a glance and only stared at me with such intensity that I could not look away. Behind him, I could see the captain watching seemingly bored but intent to listen in on my answer.
        "What is it that you want most Layla?" My hands shook when he reworded the question. What is it that i most desired? What is it that Iwant more than life it's self? Treasure? Freedom? Adventure? No.
        My breath hinged as I remembered a distant memory, one of my brothers as we laughed and danced around in the house as storm raged outside. The angry winds and thunderous rain created a symphony of sorts to as love overflowed and escaped from our bodies in for form of laugher and dance because we were unable to contain it within our bodies. What I wanted most in the world, what I wanted wasn't something I could obtain as long as I remained the person I had become after all these years but I couldn't help but want it even more, a longing I could barley contain.
        "There is something that I have always wanted." I never noticed that I had begun to look across the vast sea until I had to turn my head to face the pirate before me. Maybe I had been looking for a familiar face in the distance somewhere.
        "So there is something you want. Well, spit it out." This time the captain spoke up and a small, genuine smile formed on my lips. I could feel the corners of my lips pulling tight and my heart that rested in my chest fluttered like a small bird.
        "The love of my family." I finally spoke out. I thought that my voice would break but the words came to me as naturally as the flow of a river. My answer caused the crew to erupt into another round of loud laughter but I didn't mind. I know that it is a very womanly thing to wish for, maybe even naive, wish-washy, but just as a half starved dog yearns for a bone, I could not help but yearn for family. After a moment, I left them to their own devices, almost afraid to look back at them, slightly regretting telling them. I should have said something simpler something more pirate like, like a special jewel or an unattainable treasure, maybe even a dream to sail all of oceans of this world but I stupidly stated that I desired the love of family of all things.
        When at last I stopped walking, I found myself at the back of the ship, no longer able to walk any further, only able to see the view of where we had come from. The view was stunning to say the least. I can remember exactly how it felt to stand before the sea, the ocean that I once felt trapped by was so large, vast, and beautiful. It almost felt like I could go anywhere I wanted. The world no longer sang me a lullaby to sleep, she urged me to go on, to move forward to where ever my heart desired. The sun would lead me in day and the moon would guide me at night. The winds would lift my spirit and waves would carry my body. Those were my thoughts as the sun descended below the waves.
        "Layla! Been looking high and low for ya. it'll be your first time watching cap'n sending her out. Come now or you'll miss it." At that time, i didn't understand who we were sending off. I didn't understand how important this 'her' was, but what happened that night will forever be engrained in my mind and into my next life. It was none other than what little humanity was left of my captain. This ceremony of a sorts , though he'd never admit it, was the ever-lasting remnants of hope for the future. Not all pirates could dedicate their lives to a single goal, especially one that sounded as fictional as my captain's dream did, but that's what my captain, Eustass Kid did.
        The air reeked of oil and the captain stood before their vessel with a single torch in hand. A few other crew members stood beside him to watch while others, who had already watch this happen many time, they left to resume whatever they had been doing before the battle. I saw him, my captain glance at me from the corner of my eye.
        The opposing ship had drifted some ways away from us but before they could get to far, I watched the torch was thrown. It didn't take long for the fire to spread, engulfed in a brilliant fire, it lit up the dark depths of night that surrounded us. I was mesmerized by the flames that greedily ate at the ship. I was startled by the voice of the Massacre soldier himself.
        " I'd heard once that long ago, there was a time that gods roamed the earth. The god of forest decided to create an earth maiden and with that earth maiden, he then created the first human, the dawn maiden. From then, with the dawn maiden, they brought humans to the earth but the humans couldn't live without without nourishment, so he pleaded to his mother, the mother of earth for nourishment. Hearing his plea, she bore fruit on her trees and birthed other animals for her world but alas, she made him swear two things."
We were joined by the captain.
" One being that as long as she is to provide nourishment for his humans, they will remain her children and never be above her earth." He paused for a moment and stared up at the sky.
"The second promise she made him swear was that when his humans die, that their souls be sent in a magnificent fire, to meet her husband, father of sky, and keep him company as he waits for her to return to his side."  When Kid looked down at me, I realized how pulchritudinous my captain looked with the light of fire outlining his form. Not beautiful in a way as simple as outwards appearances but captivating in a way that the emotions swimming his eyes pull at your soul, and I finally understood that this large, bear of a man, lived with so much strength that was too great for his earthly soul and in turn, it swam in his eyes, in his body, waiting to be released. He lays a gentle hand on the railing of the ship, tenderly as if caressing a woman's face.
        "Most of us out at sea, we have no family to welcome us on land. We have no family to call our own but we come together on these ships with one thing in common. We are all here wanting something, wanting to do something, wanting to prove something so ." Kid grins a kind of childish smile that almost makes you forget that he's a world renown killer. One that made me realize that when he looked down at me, he didn't see me, he was remembering a distant memory, a declaration, a promise from the past.
        " That's why we send them off in a fire because we declare to the heavens, the skies, that we are still here. That we, the scum of the earth, are still thriving, still living and that no matter who we are, what we do, will will continue to thrive." Killer finished our conversation and I suddenly realize that the whole crew had joined our little story telling session.
I feel his hand on my shoulder, holding firmly, in an almost endearing way. When I looked up at the said man, I first noticed the orange glow against his mask and I once again caught of glimpse of his ocean blue eyes. Compared to the cold air of night, his hand was warm, heavy and he stared down at me with such deep eyes, even when I couldn't see them, I could feel it., so much so that I couldn't even attempt to decipher the emotions that swim in them.
        " Come Layla, you'd best get your cuts looked at by the doctor for good measure. Ladies shouldn't scar their skin." Heat said this while offered me an escort to the doctor's office.
        " I don't mind scars. What's more, I'm not a lady. I'm a pirate."
        They took a moment to stare, perhaps astounded, but soon the crew cracked up in laugher. For a moment I could tell that I was feeling something very strongly, which translated itself onto my face in the form of a ugly grin, the kind where one's face would wrinkle and a smile so wide that all of my teeth are bare for all too see.
        I know it may have been childish of me to think but for the first time, I belonged to this crew as a pirate, as simply, Layla.
        " That you are Lady Layla." Captain along with the crew mirrored my ugliness.