Again -n.h-

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I stare down at the pictures that have been floating around Twitter, Facebook and other online sources. If I see them, then there is a much higher chance that my girls have seen these pictures.

I don't know if they're real. I can't tell, but whether they are real or not, it is absolutely breaking my heart. The fact that my kids have to look at pictures of their dad hanging around a woman who is throwing herself at him and pictures of all six of them smoking something is absurd.

"Fuck," I say as I throw my phone onto the couch, sighing.

I run my hands through my hair, completely taken aback. How is this even possible? They've been gone for a week. A damn week.

The front door bursts open, revealing the kids. Sydney and Emma both look pissed off, and their arms are crossed across their chest as they walk past me and up the stairs. It is Friday, and Nathan ended up going home with Liam's kid.

I sigh, throwing my head back before heading up the stairs. As I pass Emma's room, I hear both of the girls talking to each other.

"I can't believe they would do something like that. Tell us we have to refuse people giving us a joint, but they can do it themselves? And then  that bitch being all over dad? What the hell is that?" Sydney says.

I feel my eyes fill with tears, covering my mouth with my hand. I hate the way they're talking, but I understand. This doesn't just affect Niall, it affects everyone around him.

"Dad shouldn't have gone on tour. What if him and Mum can't fix it? What would happen? He just decided that it's okay to let another woman throw her arm around his shoulder, wrap her arms around him?"

I knock on the bedroom door, interrupting their conversation. Walking in, I see the both of them sitting on the Queen sized bed with their phones in their hands. They are both looking at at me when I enter their room.

"Can I scoot in?" I ask walking towards them. I sit down on the bed, scooting towards the middle and towards the head of the bed. Leaning against the headboard, I open my arms, secretly telling them to come here.

Emma and Sydney both lay their heads down in both sides of my crook of the neck. I wrap my arms around them and let a sigh escape my mouth, "I know it's hard to see those pictures. I know it makes you wonder, but you have to give your dad the benefit of the doubt."

"But, Mum -"

"Listen, to you he is a regular dad. He embarrasses you in front of guys, protects you, and takes care of you. He's a regular person to you, but to the rest of the world he is idolized. People are going to test him, and that is going to affect us just as much. We don't assume anything. We ask Dad, and if it's all true, we go from there."

Emma sighs.

I sigh too, "I know that it's hard, trust me, I've lived through it. I did a lot of assuming when your dad and I were young. I let your dad and others walk over me. Paying attention to tabloids, other articles online is one way to start a fight. You have to trust your dad, okay?"

"But he hasn't talked to us in almost three days, Mum," Emma says softly, her voice breaking.

I feel my eyes fill with tears. I try to regulate my breathing before saying, "Your dad still lives in the world of fame. He's a busy man. He will call you when he has time. I know for a fact he misses you guys and that he loves you guys."

The girls nod. We spent some more time cuddled together before I pull away from them to go make dinner. As I cook, my phone rings and Niall's picture pops onto my phone.

I turn off the stove, answering the phone call.

"Jess, hey," he says as I place the phone against my ear. His voice makes my heart beat faster, it makes me relax in a way that I haven't been able to at all this whole week.

"Hey," I whisper, sitting down in one of the dining chairs.

"I just got off the phone with Emma and Syd," he says sighing, "Jess, babe, they're pissed."

"Do you blame them?" I ask almost regretting my words. "Sitting at home waiting for a phone call from your dad when he's spending time with another woman and possibly doing drugs is -"

"You really believe that drug stuff? Come on, Jessica. You've known me all your life, I've never touched that stuff."

"But your kids don't know that. They see their dad, not some famous pop star like others," I immediately respond. I hear him sigh, and I can only imagine him running his free hand through his hair.

"Niall, who are you taking to? We are minutes away from an interview," her voice echoes through my ear and I feel my heart drop down into my stomach.

I close my eyes, pressing my lips together to try and stop the sobs that are going to escape out of my mouth any second.

"Jess, I'm sorry, I have to go," Niall says apologetically.

I don't trust my voice, so I don't say anything.

"Jess?"

"Jess, are you okay?"

I sniff, wiping my nose with my free hand, feeling tears fall down my cheeks, "Yeah," I muffle.

"Niall, honey, come on!"

Niall sighs, "I've got to go."

"Niall, please just stay on the phone with me," I whisper, begging as my voice breaks at the start of my sentence. The tears don't stop falling down my cheeks, and the fist that's placed against my lips is stopping the sobs that are wanting to come out.

"I can't. I'm so busy, Jess."

"It's me, Niall. Me," I whisper, "You're wife, who really needs to hear your voice right now."

"Jess, I love you so much. I promise I'll call you right after this interview."

"Niall," I say softly, flabbergasted.

"Niall, we have to go on. Your manager is getting mad, come on," her voice is so close to his phone. Her voice makes my stomach churn, forcing me to think of all those moments she tried to ruin me.

"Josie, give me a fucking minute. I'm trying to talk to my wife," Niall retorts, his voice filled with annoyance.

"It's time, Niall. You know what, tell your pathetic wife that you have a job, unlike her."

"Jessica, I need to go take care of this interview. I really have to go. I love you, I promise I'll call you back."

Niall then hangs up and just as I try to stop a sob from coming out of my mouth, Emma walks into the kitchen. When her eyes turn into my direction, I wipe the tears off my cheek and clear my throat, "Dinner is going to be done in a little bit."

"Mum," Emma says softly, noticing my expression.

I shake my head at her, walking towards the stove to turn it back on, "I heard you two got to talk to Dad?"

Emma takes a second to respond, "Yeah," she says. "He apologized. Promised that he wasn't using any sort of drugs."

"That's good. See, I told you," I say softly, giving her a forced smile.

"Mum, are you okay?"

I nod, "I'm fine, honey. Just missing your dad."

Emma nods, not assured, "We miss him too."

And later that night, I waited for his phone call, but it never came.

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There we go 😊 stuff is picking up now.. yay? Nay?

Thanks guys❤️❤️