Again -n.h-

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"You need to eat."

I stare at Harry, frowning. I haven't been hungry, I haven't been myself, and now I'm spending a couple of nights somewhere else. How does he think it's easy to eat with everything that has been going on?

"Harry," I sigh giving him a look.

"Jessica, I watched you go through this years ago. That was one of the worst things I've ever seen you go through. I don't want to see it again, especially not when you've got three kids who are worried about their parents relationship."

I sigh, shaking my head. I haven't been hungry. There's a difference between refusing to eat and not being hungry.

Harry places a plate of pancakes in front of me, bringing me back the memory of when I started eating again years ago. Sitting around the table with the guys, happy that all the drama was over with. Now, it has started again and has driven me out of Niall's life again.

"You know what ill never forget?" Harry asks, chuckling to himself as he looks up at me with a smile.

"What?" I ask smiling slightly.

"That second day after we arrived in Mullingar, and Niall saw a spider -"

"And he jumped into Liam's arms," we both say, laughing at the memory. I feel a smile reach my lips, chuckling. It really was hilarious.

"I think that was the first time, the guys and I realized he really is in love with you," Harry says which causes me to look up at him. "Niall doesn't do well with people who act out like Josie, Jessica. You know he doesn't. All what he's trying to do is keep the peace that was there after the first time."

"Harry -"

"I know. It doesn't justify what he's doing, or what he's done, but he came home to you after he found out you weren't eating. He was going insane, Jess. I don't think I've ever seen him that scared of losing you."

I purse my lips together.

"Then, little Sydney got hurt, and I think he literally was dying on the inside. He felt awful, and it made him decide to stay home. Then Josie decided she wanted to stop and management canceled everything."

I sigh, sinking down in the dining chair.

"He didn't stop you last night because he realizes you need time as much as he does. The both of you have been through shit, and both of you have handled it like two idiots."

I stare at him with my mouth wide open, ready to protest but he stops me.

"You're acting like the nineteen year old girl you were million of years ago. You're fighting Josie, starving yourself, ignoring your own mothers worries and Niall's mother's worries. The only difference between now and then is that you're not cutting and you're making sure that your kids are okay."

"Harry -"

"No, Jessica, you have a right to be mad. You have a right to be upset about this situation, but you've got to focus on yourself for just a second. You haven't eaten in practically weeks, your kids are noticing, and if I were you, I'd start eating soon before they have to say goodbye to their mum because she wouldn't take care of herself."

That last sentence shuts me up.

"You have to focus on yourself before the kids lose their Mum and Niall loses the love of his life."

The voice of my kids and Harry's son, Elliott, brings me back to whatever world I was in before Harry started talking. It makes me turn my head into the direction of the voices and then makes me look back at the plate of pancakes that Harry put in front of me.

Harry is right. I need to eat.

"Just eat one, and then we'll see later today," Harry says, keeping his voice soft.

So I eat one pancake. It almost makes me throw up, but I manage to keep it inside of me. In the corner of my eyes, I see the girls smiling at each other and that is what makes my heart leap. They've definitely noticed.

Harry was right.

I get up from the dining table, and walk around towards Harry. I pull him in a hug, sighing in content.

I was closest to Louis when I stayed with Niall and the guys, but Harry was the one who first knew of everything. He had always looked out for me, and after Niall and I started dating we became closer than ever.

"You always catch me when I fall," I mumble, "Thank you."

"You're like my little sister, Jessica. Can't watch you nor Niall torture yourself over these stupid things."

I chuckle before we let go of each other and it's only a matter of seconds before the front door bursts open and the other guys walk in. Niall too.

All the kids and wives have joined, and when my kids notice Niall, they immediately hug him. However, when my eyes focus on the bleached blonde hair of Josie Richards, my heart completely shatters.

"For fudge sake," I hear Harry mutter in annoyance.

The same look of triumph is on Josie's face, but quickly fades when Niall looks at her and says something. Niall turns around, and his eyes find mine. His eyes then skim over the dining table and his eyes focus on the plate that I was eating from.

I don't even have time to say something before Louis rushes into my direction, and wraps his arms around me in excitement. A real laugh escapes my lips but quickly fades when I see the same similar look on Josie's face as almost twenty years ago.

The look of thinking about Louis and I.

I can do this. I have to do this.

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WARNING- next chapter is going to be heavy. It's going to include mention of self harm and other stuff. If you cannot read the stuff, please don't. trigger warnings are there but most of the chapter consists of it. DO NOT READ NEXT CHAPTER IF YOU CAN GET TRIGGERED.

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