Chapter 11
I couldn't sleep.
Niall never called me back and all I could do was try to keep my tears at bay when I saw the picture of the band and Josie together. The caption was missed niall so much, so happy he's back with the gang.
The boys didn't post it, it was Josie.
When I looked through the comments, I could feel my blood boil. There were so many people hating on me. I don't even know what I did to them.
In the morning, the kids could tell I didn't sleep very much and I'm pretty sure Sydney and Emma told someone. I don't know who, but my mother suddenly bursted through the front door urging the kids to get their shit together for school. When it was just her and I, she scolded me.
I felt like I was nineteen all over again.
"Jessica, you have to be present for your kids," Mum says after the kids have left the house.
"I am. I'm taking care of them, easing their minds, and worries. I'm fine, Mum."
"You didn't touch the food on your plate this morning, and the bags under your eyes are darker than the shirt I'm wearing," Mum replies, her blue eyes filled with worry.
My mum and stepdad are still together and they've been married for a long while now. My younger sister barely acknowledges me, apparently she's team Josie. Whatever that's supposed to mean.
I know Mum doesn't want to deal with me acting like a nineteen year old again, but I haven't talked to Niall in a day. He promised he would contact me before meals, after he landed and he didn't. I'm hurt.
"Being there for your kids also means taking care of yourself," Mum says softly. "You're not taking care of yourself."
I sigh, shaking my head at her. I want to stop this conversation. I want to be alone and drink wine until I pass out, until I don't have to worry about whether Niall is too busy to take care of some girl like Josie or ignoring me. I don't want to think.
"Can you take the kids for a weekend?" I ask softly. "I just need a break and need to be with the girls."
My mum shakes her head, "No. I know you well enough that if you are alone, you're not going to eat at all. Knowing that the kids are out and looking out for their mother is what keeps me sane. It should be the other -"
"Mum, I'm fucking taking care of them. I'm putting food on the table every day, two to three meals a day. I talk to all three of my kids, reassure them that their dad still loves them when he doesn't acknowledge them. I'm doing this by myself, I don't have time for myself."
"Yes you do. You have all this time when they're at work, but instead of doing something with your time, you're thinking about Niall and that girl," Mum spits out, frustration is filled in her voice. "You have time. You just don't use it properly."
I scoff, rolling my eyes as I collect all the plates and cups from the dining table. I place them in the sink and shut my eyes, trying to calm my beating heart.
"You have no idea what it's like, Mum," I say softly. "No idea what it's like to be chased by paps at all times, to have Niall miss important milestones because he's on tour every so many years, and now I've got that crazy bitch on my ass again. I'm tired, Mum. I'm so tired."
"You're right, I don't know what it's like but that's a conversation you have to have with Niall. That isn't my concern right now, my concern is you. Jess, I don't want to watch you die right in front of my eyes like you did when you were a teenager."
"I'm fine, Mum. I promise."
Mum sighs and I can only imagine her shaking her head right now. I want her to leave, but of course she doesn't. She just sits down on my couch, and takes out her phone. I'm sure she's texting Niall, telling him what we just talked about.
Even if Niall sent her, I don't need her concern. I have so many other things to worry about when I've got three kids to take care of. Three kids that need my reassurance because they're not getting any from their father.
I'm tired of the chasing, I'm tired of that bitch going after me. I don't know what I did to deserve this, and I don't know how I am going to stop it when they're all the way in America.
"Jessica, honey, stop worrying about Niall and Josie. Niall loves you," Mum says softly.
I sigh, nodding. I know, but that hasn't stopped Josie before.
____________________
Short chapter but headed into work! Hope you enjoyed it ❤️
YOU ARE READING
Again -n.h-
Fanfiction*sequel to More Than Best Friends* It's been eighteen years since Jessica and Niall have heard from Demi Lovato. Their life had been perfect, they married each other, raised a couple of kids, and had a marriage anyone could practically dream of. T...
