Again -n.h-

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I stare at the news story, biting down on my bottom lip.

The rumors, the pictures, and the so called sources never get any easier to look at. I know that most of it isn't true, and I trust Niall with all my heart, but staring at a picture that looks real is probably the worst thing a wife of a pop star could do.

It's hard, watching your husband still live the life he did when he was only twenty. All those grown and young women that barely wear any clothes in their meet and greet pictures. The other celebrities that try to throw themselves at them.

It's hard.

Putting my phone in my pocket, I look up and notice a couple of girls staring at me from the other side of the grocery aisle. Their phones are held up into my direction, and they are whispering to one another. I know they're taking a picture or recording me, either one.

After loading all my groceries into the cart, and then driving home, I call Niall's mom to let her know that I am sitting in the driveway.

Maura wanted to come over and see her grandkids, so I decided to go grocery shopping. Through the window, I can see Maura getting the kids together and within seconds they are rushing out of the house and towards my car. I open up the trunk and let them take the bags of groceries.

Maura watches with a smile on her mouth.

I grab the remaining bags before shutting the trunk and walking into the house. I place everything together on the counter and hear Maura's footsteps fill the silent kitchen.

"How have you been, Jessie?"

I let a sigh escape my mouth, "How have I been? Great," I respond.

"Alright, stop doing what you're doing and talk to me," she says as she pulls me away from the counter. Over her shoulder, I can see Sydney glancing into my direction. When she notices that I have noticed, she looks away and continues her conversation with her siblings.

"I'm fine, Maura, really. I'm just missing him, you know?" I say, bringing my eyes back to hers. I wrap my arms around myself, biting on the inside of my cheek.

I really thought Niall would have been done with everything by now. Even though we have had the last four years as a family, it is always a struggle watching him leave for another year to do what he loves. Him doing what he loves is the only reason why I support it, why I support him.

"I know, sweetheart," Maura sighs sighing, "how are the kids adjusting to it?"

"Well, Syd is probably having sex already. Emma's not as open as she used to be and Nathan, well, it's Nathan. As long as he gets to talk to Niall once a day, he's okay."

"You know, you're doing really well? Managing three kids by yourself. Two of them even being teenagers," Maura says.

I give Maura an appreciative smile, "The rumors have been twice as bad lately, with Josie joining them."

"Jessie, sweetheart, you have been living in this life with Niall since you guys were so young. You and him have both gone through so much after finally getting together, and he's still with you. Niall loves you, he always has, and I need you to not forget that when you're staring at those pictures. They're most likely not going to be real."

"I know, I know that," I say softly, "It just hurts."

Those pictures of Josie and Niall cuddling together on the couch, drinking and laughing make my heart ache. It doesn't matter if they're real or not, it's the pain that comes with it. The pain that comes with watching the love of your life possibly be doing something they wouldn't if you were there.

Maura wraps her arms around me, hugging me tightly. I hug her back immediately, realizing that I have tears trickling down my face.

I just miss him.

I want to see him, touch him, hear his voice.

"If I can give you one piece of advice on Syd," Maura starts, almost whispering, "Let her do what she wants to do. Don't control her actions and if she makes a mistake, be there for her."

"I know, I'm trying," I say as we pull away from each other. A mixture of a chuckle and a sigh escapes my mouth when I say, "It's just the fact that my little girl is growing up."

"And you? You take care of yourself too, don't turn into that girl I saw eighteen years ago that was cutting herself and starving herself."

"I've got something to live for now," I whisper with a small smile.

Maura sighs, "You've always had something to live for."

Our conversation gets interrupted by Emma, who calls out for her grandmother. Maura gives my hand a squeeze before turning around and greeting her. With Maura giving the kids attention, I turn back around and place all the groceries within the cabinets and fridge.

I join everyone else when I'm finished and Maura then decided that ha eis going to order Chinese food for everyone. The kids cheer and I can't help but smile at their excitement. I think that having Maura here helps bring them closer to their dad while he's gone.

I don't eat much food and Maura immediately notices. She silently sends me subtle messages to try and make me eat, but the truth is I'm not hungry. After seeing all those pictures, hearing all those rumors, and watching my kids miss their dad like crazy. It doesn't give me an appetite.

It isn't until a little bit later when Maura leaves so that the kids can complete their homework. While the kids work on their homework, I spend some time texting Niall.

I miss him. So much.

"Mum?" Emma asks softly, looking up from her workbook.

I look up from my phone, and meet her bright blue eyes, "Yeah?" I ask.

"Is it two more weeks until Dad comes home?" She asks softly. "I miss him."

A sad smile hovers over my lips, "Yeah. Two more weeks."

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