Again -n.h-

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Sitting up, I look around me and notice my mum and Niall laying on the couch.

Niall is laying behind me, his arm thrown over my waist while my mum is laying on the other couch. Both of them are still asleep when I realize how tired I feel.

My body is worn out. I can't think straight. I feel like a mess.

"Niall," I whisper tiredly.

Niall immediately sits up, his tired eyes fully widened as he stares at me in shock. He mutters an oh my God before he reaches over to me and pulls me into his chest. He holds me, tighter then he has ever done before, running his hand through my hair.

"Jessica," he sighs in relief as he kisses the top of my head, not letting me go, "You had me so worried."

I hold onto him, digging my head into his chest as he holds me, "I'm so tired," I whisper.

"It's okay, that's fine, just don't sleep yet. Sleep later."

I pull my head from his chest, looking up at him. His blue eyes are looking down at me with admiration that I haven't seen in such a long time. It makes my heart beat ten times faster, "Niall," I mumble.

"It's you, you know that right? It's always been you. I have messed up in showing you and I promise I will explain everything to you. I just need you to know that it's you and it'll always be you."

I nod feeling my eyes fill with tears.

"I will make this up to you and I'll get her out of our lives, but I just need to know what I can do right now."

Right now?

"I just want you to hold me," I mumble as I crawl into his lap, and placing myself against his chest. He immediately wraps his arms around me, kissing my forehead before placing his head on top of mine.

I don't know for how long we are holding on to each other, but it's long enough for my Mum to eventually wake up. When she notices me in Niall's arms, she lets a sigh of relief escape her lips. All the pressure that was build into her body leaves before she walks over to me and leans down to kiss my forehead, "You scared me, honey."

"I'm sorry, Mum," I whisper, still leaning against Niall. Afraid that if I let go of him that he'll change his mind. That he'll prefer someone like Josie over me.

I know he told me that he chooses me and that he loves me, but he has said that before. Maybe I'm being selfish, maybe I'm think irrationally, but after these last couple of months, I need him to hold me and reassure me.

My mum whispers something in Niall's ear before she goes. Normally I would demand to hear, but emotionally, I feel to exhausted. My body is fighting to stay awake.

"I was so scared to lose you," Niall whispers, gripping me.

I pull myself away from his chest and press my lips against his. His hands immediately wrap around my waist, pulling me into him as he kisses me back. He pulls me closer, making the butterflies in my stomach reappear.

"I love you. I love you so much that it hurts," I whisper, "It hurts so much to watch you give more attention to your band and to Josie then the kids and me."

"I'm going to work on it. I know this is the second time I messed up but I'm going to work on it. I will make it up to you and the kids. I promise."

"You promise?" I whisper, my fingers finding it's way to the back of his head and running through his brown hair.

"I promise."

I nod, pressing my lips to his again as my knees dig into the couch cushions underneath me. My hands move down towards the white T-shirt that he's wearing in attempt for him to take it off.

"Jessica," he says as he pulls his lips from mine, "I want to do this with you. I want you, but you just woke up from some sort of trance. I don't know if you're in the right state of mind right now."

"I'm fine, I'm just tired, Niall. It's been like a week and so much has happened. I just want to feel close to you in a different way then earlier. I promise I know what I want," I whisper.

Niall takes one good look at me, his eyes boring into mine before his hands leave my waist and go towards the back of his shirt, pulling it over his head.

A smile creeps onto my lips before Niall starts leaning towards me, slowly putting my back onto the couch as he kisses me. His lips trail from mine down towards my jaw, my neck and stop at the shirt of his that I always seem to have on.

The kisses on my neck send me in overdrive. It makes me want to clench my legs shut but at the same time grind onto him.

"You don't know how beautiful you are, Jess," Niall whispers as he comes back up, pressing his lips against mine. A whimper leaves my mouth as he trails his mouth down again, but we get interrupted by his phone.

Of course.

Niall groans in defeat before his digs his hand into the sweatpants he's wearing. His eyebrows raise in surprise before he answers the phone call with an hey, dude, I'm sort of busy right now.

But his eyebrows fall and soon enough he's getting up from the couch and grabbing his white shirt off of the floor. I sit up in a hurry, feeling a panic rise within me. Is it the kids? Did something happen to our kids? What the hell?

"Niall, what's wrong?" I ask as I get off the couch, looking at him with a hurry.

"Louis, I'm on my way. Don't you dare move the kids somewhere. Jess and I are on the way."

Kids? What the hell happened to my babies?

"Niall!" I shout frantically, my heart dropping into my stomach. If something happened to my kids, I don't know if I can ever forgive myself.

Niall looks up at me before he hangs up and puts on his white shirt. His boner still sticking out of his sweatpants.

"Emma and Sydney are fine, okay?-"

"Wait, what about -"

"Jessica, I need you to breathe," Niall says as he looks down at me. I nod, catching up on my breathing before he sighs, "Nathan found Josie unresponsive in a puddle of blood."

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