Again -n.h-

Chapter 26

Chapter 26
TRIGGER WARNING

Zayn and Liam greet me, pulling me into their embrace after Louis. All of the kids end up getting together to hang out, and within minutes all of the wives are hanging out.

Josie ends up with the guys.

Niall still hasn't talked to me.

The girls keep me distracted from my thoughts, but I'd be lying if I said that it hurts to hear Niall's loud laugh echoing throughout the room. His actions pretending that everything is completely fine, when in reality I feel torn into little pieces.

By the late afternoon, I am sitting outside with a glass of whiskey in my hand. When I hear the door open, I already know that it's Niall.

I tip the glass back, taking it all in just as he sits down next to me.

TRIGGER WARNING.

"Josie was raped."

"So she needed you to comfort her? To make sure that she had strong arms to protect her against the fucking world?"

Niall sighs, "Jessica, you should know what it is like to be in her position. Don't be acting like a bitch. You have been in her shoes before."

I widen my eyes at him, completely surprised at the fact that he just told me I've been acting like a bitch. If she was raped why the hell would she have given me that smirk when I walked out?

When I was raped, I was traumatized. I didn't even tell Niall until months later because it hurt me that bad. Then Josie made arrangements to bring the man that raped me back into my life. Now, she's saying she's been raped and then smirks at me as I'm leaving my house?

What kind of psychopath is she?

"I can't deal with this," I whisper as I stand up from the seat, walking further out to the yard.

I hate to discredit anyone who claims they have been raped, but the last thing I'd expect someone who has been raped to do is smirk as they're watching the wife of a man they're after leave. I will never know the truth but that is weird and it doesn't add up.

"Can't deal with what?" Niall asks.

Really?

I sigh, throwing my head back. The thing I want to do most is throw this glass onto the ground, and use the broken pieces to cut. The only thing that's stopping me is my kids.

I don't want to break their hearts like Niall is breaking mine.

"I want to cut, Niall. I want to throw this fucking glass into the pavement and slice my wrists open. I want all this emotional pain to go away, I need something else -"

I throw the glass onto the pavement causing Niall to immediately stand up and rush towards me. He cups my face in his hand, and taking both of my hands in his free one, forcing me to look up at him.

I've never seen him this scared before.

"Don't you dare, Jessica."

"Niall," I begin as sobs take over. My breathing becomes heavy as much heat tightens. I feel like I can't breathe anymore. Every part of me feels like it's suffocating.

He didn't even talk to me at all today. He let Josie be all over him. He let it happen. What am I? Am I just a joke to him? Am I really this useless to him? Why can't he just see it?

"Niall!"

Of course. It's her again.

"Jessica, pay attention to my voice," Niall says, "I'm an asshole. I shouldn't have called you a bitch. I'm sorry, love -"

Niall is then pulled away from me, and when his grip on me loosens, I fall.

I fall directly on the pieces of glass that are now laying on the floor. A cry of pain leaves my lips, as the pieces of glass dig into different parts of my skin. My body feels like it's on fire, my mind is racing, and my breathing still hasn't calmed down.

"Get the fuck off of me, Josie!"

It's then when I feel a familiar pair of hands on me. Through my tears, I can see Niall's figure leaning down in front of me. He is attempting to get me up from the pavement, and then carries me towards the chair that I was sitting on earlier.

I look down at my lap and notice a piece of glass that is stuck in the palm of my hand. The second Niall takes his hands off of me and looks somewhere else, I grab it and enclose it in my first.

A groan escapes my lips when I feel the sharp edges of the glass dig into my skin, but soon enough my hand is ripped open and the glass is being taken from me. I hear Niall say things, but I can't comprehend them.

Everything feels like it's in a haze. My mind isn't working correctly, my body feels so much lighter than it did before, and the pain feels less. Now I remember why I did what I used to do. It made me feel good.

I faintly hear my name coming from Niall's mouth, before his hands cup my face. He's saying stuff but I don't hear it.

The thing that pulls me out of my mind is the shout of Nathan screaming, "Mummy!"

I swiftly turn my head and notice my kids getting held back by Stephanie and the other girls.

"Nathan, baby," I whisper as I try to stand up but hands on my shoulder push me back down.

"Jessica, stay still. Zayn is calling an ambulance, okay?"

I try to stand up, but just as Niall wants to push me back down, I wrap my arms around him, wanting to hold onto him. Niall immediately wraps his arms around me, "It's okay, baby, it's okay."

I sob into his shoulder, sobbing in a way that I have never cried before. Everything is slowly hitting me and the realization is;

I'm tired.

I'm so freaking tired.

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Nicole is writing a story on her personal Wattpad page if you're interested in reading it. It just started and has three chapters uploaded to it. Not one direction, just a cliche book type of thing 😂 message if you're interested in reading it!!!