Again -n.h-

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

"What did you just say?"

I stare at my husband who looks absolutely livid. I can't tell if he's living because I'm the blame for his ex's death, or because it seems like a shock to him.

"Nothing, it's nothing. I'm going to sleep on -"

"You're not going anywhere. Talk to me."

"I can't, Niall. There are so many -"

"Stop thinking about everything. Just think about you. Think about me. I'm here to help you, that's what a husband is there for. That's what I've been there for since I've known you all my life."

"I need help," I suddenly sob, my body starting to feel weak, "I didn't realize how freaking awful I was, Niall. I didn't mean to make her commit suicide -"

"You didn't make her do anything -"

"The police found a note and they told me."

We keep talking over one another but Niall shuts me up by pulling me in his arms. My hands grip onto his shirt as sobs escape my mouth. I'm so tired of it. So tired of everything that has happened. I need a break, need to have Niall hold me all day.

"None of this is your fault, Jessica. I will remind you every day if I have to, but none of this is your fault. This was her trying to get her last rise out of you and it worked. I agree that you might need some help, but not because of what Josie did to herself. You need help because you've been tested to your freaking limit, and I'm here every step of the way."

I nod into his chest, my sobs have finally calmed down. I feel like the most awful human being there is.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't there for you and that it took Sydney getting hurt for me to come home. I should have listened to you, but I will promise you thing," Niall says as he pulls away from me, looking down at me.

I look up at him, sniffing.

"I never did anything with Josie. The whole time I was trying to help her with her personal problems, I was also trying to get her off of my back. All those pictures are fake, those rumors are fake, except the ones about the album."

I nod.

"I will make it up to you, and to the kids. I promise I will."

I nod again.

"I promise you, Jessica Parker, that you are it for me. No one except you. And I'm so sorry that I have to tell you that again and again."

"Jessica Horan," I reply. A slight playful frown hovering over my lips.

Niall smiles, "You'll always be Jessica Parker to me. It's just a bonus that you took my last name."

I laugh, placing my head against his chest again. Niall chuckles, pressing his lips to my forehead.

I believe him. I don't think he intentionally meant to hurt me, why would he after the life that we have built? I'm so utterly in love with this man that I would selfishly hurt myself in order for him to be safe. He's my other half of me, he's always been my other half.

I believe him when he says that he'll make it up to me.

By the next morning, we are both lazily laying in bed. My head in the crook of his neck, and my hand drawing circles on his chest as his hand draws circles on my bare back. Last night, nothing happened, the both of us were exhausted.

Can't say much about this morning.

It's a Sunday, and it's the first day in forever that we are able to sleep in and enjoy each other. The kids usually don't wake up until later in the morning anyways, so this is perfect.

I can't help but think back to all those moments months before Josie hurt us the first time. When Niall showed up at the movie theatre that I worked at, when he slung his arm around my shoulder, when I got hit by a car and he kissed me at the hospital.

Our conversation afterwards.

Niall jumping in the arms of Liam after seeing a spider, the guys being there for me.

Moving to London.

Then everything happened, and we came back stronger.

We really focused on our relationship and it wasn't until five years later when he asked me to marry him. We could have married each other that second we got together, because I knew that it was him. I just don't think we would have had a relationship like we do now, if we did.

Then our kids were born. Two girls. We never planned on having a third one but it happened. Niall was so excited to have a son, and I was so excited for the girls to have a younger sibling. Although he wasn't planned, he is probably the most amazing kid.

One thing I learned from being with Niall is there's never any planning. He's always up to something, always ready to do something for the kids, for me. He's always looking out for us to make sure everything is okay.

I wouldn't want it any other way.

It took us a lot of work to get back to where we were before. To get back stronger then ever. And it will take us a lot of work again.

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So it wasn't planned to end it yet, but it sort of happened... so I guess LAST CHAPTER 😂

Ummm there will be a epilogue and then that it for the MTBF series! 🥺

Thanks for your continuous support ❤️