Again -n.h-

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

A forced chuckle escapes my mouth as I turn around and look up at the ceiling. There are tears in my eyes, and the last thing I want is to cry in front of him once again.

"Jessica, I need you to tell me if that's the truth," Niall says softly. "If that's the case, I'm going to make sure that either my Mum or yours will be here to help you with the kids."

"No," I say turning back around, "I don't need help with the kids. I'm a grown ass woman who has already done this alone before."

"I'm talking about you, Jessica. Just answer the damn question," Niall says, his blue eyes are still focused on mine. There is so much worry in them, and that makes my anger fade.

"I'm not okay," I tell him, "But I don't need help. I've managed before and I can do it again."

Niall sighs.

"What do you expect, Niall? You're on tour with her. There are a ton of pictures from the both of you cuddling together, smoking weed, and then there's all those rumors. I've got people asking me whether we have divorced, and then the kids are seeing all this too. I have to reassure them that none of it is true when I am not even assured because we talk three times a week."

"Josie drinks, when she gets drunk she is all over me. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her it's not appropriate, it happens. She doesn't listen to the other boys, and we are practically taking care of her drunken ass all week long. I don't talk to you because I don't want to, it's because I'm taking care of a grown child."

"Why?" I ask, my voice breaks, "Why is it you? Not anyone else? Do they not realize -"

"Jess, baby," Niall says as he takes a couple of steps closer, cupping my face with his hands, "I promise I'm all yours. You know I don't cheat. I suck at communicating, but I would never hurt you like that."

I nod softly.

"I put up with her because I have to, and I'm so sorry that you and the kids have to see those pictures and rumors, but i promise, none of it is true."

He presses his lips against my forehead and that's when I break down. I grip the back of his shirt.

I'm tired of the rumors, tired of the pictures, I'm tired of her.

Uncontrollable sobs leave my mouth as my body shudders. Niall continues to hold me, his chest heaving up and down as I cry.

I'm so tired of pretending to be okay in front of the kids and everyone else. The rumors and pictures are everywhere and there's no way to escape any of it. The scars on my wrists continue to remind me of those moments, and those moments that Maura seems to think I'm not eating makes me want to quit.

Having Niall hold me makes everything seem more real. The fact that he came here for some weird reason, it makes me feel like something else is going on.

I don't think he's cheated, or has been unfaithful, but something else happened. There is no other reason for him to suddenly show up. He will most likely be gone tomorrow morning, which will break the hearts of our kids.

"I'm tired of the rumors," I whisper against his chest after my crying has subsided.

"I will put out a statement. I promise."

I nod, digging my head into his chest. I don't want to pull away from him because I know that when I do, the kids are going to be all over him and that by the time it is time to go to bed, he'll be asleep. I've lived this life with him for too long to know I need to take every little bit of time I can.

"I'll help you make dinner, okay?" Niall whispers as he runs his fingers through my hair.

I nod, pulling away from him. Niall sends me a sad smile before wiping the tears from my cheeks, "I love you."

"I love you," I say softly, my voice hoarse.

We end up making dinner together, slowly going back to our joking manners as we cook together. Throughout dinner, I am barely able to touch my plate and Niall ends up noticing, but doesn't say anything. Instead he places his hand on my thigh and gives it a slight squeeze, asking Damien questions about his life.

By the end of the night, he puts the kids to bed and then meets me in the bedroom. When he walks back in, he has a plate of food in his hands.

"Eat," he says.

"I'm not hungry," I say softly.

"Just two bites, Jess. I'm serious, I will get your Mum or mine in this house."

"When are you leaving?" I ask, stopping the conversation.

Niall's eyes avoid mine as he scratches his neck, "Tomorrow morning. Now, will you please eat something?"

I sigh, taking the plate from him and sit down on our bed. Niall sits next to me, grabbing his phone. As I take a couple of bites from the plate of food, I can't help but notice all the text messages that he received from Josie.

When Niall tosses his phone to the other side of the bed, he looks at me and gives me a smile, "See, you can do it."

I nod, handing him the plate back. He places it on the nightstand before grabbing my sides and placing me on top of his lap. His hands roam my body as his eyes travel down towards my lips.

"Are you ready for a sleepless night?" He teases playfully, pulling me closer.

A chuckle escapes my mouth as I wrap my arms around him, almost pressing my lips against his, "Only if you decide to stop being such a tease."

"We'll see about that. You know you like it," he says before flipping us over and pressing his lips against mine.