44. Behind the Wall

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There you go, sat there,

Fucking me up with your words.

The poison in them is so acrid

I can almost smell it across the room

Yet I sit here and take it.

I know you're toxic

I know you're gaslighting me

And my only defence

Is my awareness.

At least I don't believe your hate

Or the venom you spit,

I know it's a toothless serpent.

I'm the one holding on,

Holding it together,

Making things right,

Repairing the cracks with Sellotape.

I hate what you've made me

And what I've made myself

With all the anger and fear caged inside.

The little box I lock it in

Sometimes threatens to burst open,

The locks aren't too tight anymore.

So go on, fuck off,

Take your forked tongue

And your twisted, harmful words;

Take your deceit,

The vitriol you spill every sentence,

The loaded insinuations hiding at every turn.

Replies that make me seem heartless

Are the walls to my heart

Which keep the feelings inside,

Because revealing them is weakness.

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 18, 2021 ⏰

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