Shorts: A Collection

28. PCOS and Me (Experience)

I'm going to be real and personal.

I have PCOS, which is polycystic ovary syndrome. It can be lifestyle and diet induced or it can be a cruel gift from Mother Nature.

My PCOS isn't as bad as many women suffer and truly my heart goes out to you ladies. It often goes undiagnosed or misunderstood.

Basically, the hormones which release an ovum give out mixed signals and the egg gets trapped in the ovary in a cyst. This can cause mild to extreme pain; difficulty getting pregnant; hormonal fluctuations and associated issues such as abnormal hair growth and skin problems. (This is a basic list and in no way covers the range of problems or severity experienced globally.)

PCOS also can be closely linked to diabetes and can cause insulin resistance, which can impact on a woman's ability to lose weight and uncontrollable surges in appetite. As you can see, it may well come across that the PCOS sufferer is 'greedy', 'lazy' or 'a wimp'. Blah blah, whatever, I know the truth and that's all I care about. Think of me what you will but I know my body.

Anyway, this sort of links to mt experience.

At about 26 my husband and I decided to try to a baby. I had my implant removed and we left it to nature. But I realised my periods were sporadic, at best, and despite increasing the attempts nothing was happening.

I went to the doctors who did blood tests and found I wasn't ovulating so was referred to the obstetrics and gynaecology department at the hospital.

The doctor was this snappy little man who told me, without any tests or further investigation, that I "probably" had PCOS and I needed to lose a stone in weight before I came back and THEN we'd see because being overweight was probably causing it.

I cried. I cried and cried and lost all motivation. It was clearly my fault this was happening and my infertility was self-induced. You can imagine how soul-destroying that was and this was before I knew my weight loss was affected by the insulin-resistance, and that it was indeed PCOS.

But we ended up moving to another county and I had to start again with the blood tests and appointments and 3 month wait to get to the Assisted Conception Unit. Again I had to open the wounds and admit my failures to the doctors, my boss (because I started crying at work too), my husband and my family.

In the meantime everyone seemed to be pregnant and I was sat bearing these stabs in my heart silently because it wasn't fair to be sad at others' joy. I didn't want to be bitter and I wasn't really, just every new pregnancy reminded me I wasn't any closer. Every negative test was a nail in the coffin and had me so low for days afterwards.

I went to see the doctor at the ACU and I was met by an overweight, elderly black man with hands the size of shovels and a thick Nigerian accent. The opposite of the small, white, weasely man I met before.

I cried again. Dr. O was honest and realistic and matter-of-fact, but it was reassuring. I was blubbing away and he goes, "Why are you crying? You're here to get answers, you should be smiling!" And then to my husband: "Why are you laughing? The problem might be you!"

So he arranged an internal ultrasound, prescribed Metformin to help regulate egg release, arranged a semen test for my husband and gave me an x-ray with dye to check for any blockages in the fallopian tubes.

The Metformin kickstarted my periods, the ultrasound showed that yes I had PCOS and the x-ray showed no blockages. The relief of having an answer was unbelievable and although Dr. O said losing weight COULD help he never made me feel like I was ruining my chances or wasting NHS money.

Six months felt like an eternity and I had an appointment to discuss the next stage of fertility treatment but then... those 2 lines appeared and I was pregnant and my life changed forever. I had a good pregnancy and a c-section and a beautiful daughter after 42 weeks. My periods have stabilised without medication.

But the main thing I learned was about how one negative experience can almost ruin a person. My sadness is now replaced with anger that 2 doctors were worlds apart in dealing with a very emotive subject. I can understand even the first doctor wanting to try a non-medicinal route but there is a professional and kind way to present that to a vulnerable woman.

I was lucky enough to have a good ending but many women suffer for years in silence or censure. If you have PCOS please find out all you can, and even though sometimes there isn't a magic cure you can understand it and to hell with anyone who tries to put you down for it.