36. Pint Song (Poem)

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I had a hunch/ Let's find out if it's true
Drinking all day/ Makes your vision go blue.

It starts at the bar/ Moves out to the hall
I didn't see it/ Who put up that wall?

Pints are fun!/ It's a Frenchman! It's a monkey!
Hang it anyway/ My sick is quite lumpy.

I love this song/ Ooh yeah, let's dance
'When I play that old six-string'/ Adopt the stance.

Air guitar, baby/ I'm on the tables now
Grease is the word/ Hey guys, take a bow!

Who are you?/ You told me your name...
Don't look, Ethel!/ I still haven't paid.

Sixteen shots/ Between sixteen men
Hum hum hum/ Am I singing again?

I am not drunk/ Merely slightly tipsy
I can stand up myself/ Hey- that bar just missed me!

I feel so bad/ What's died in my mouth?
Who woke me up?/ Oh, it's turny-out.

My taxi's gone/ Was I sick in the car?
Thank goodness you helped me/ Or I'd have gone too far.

Okay I actually have a fondness for this one. Yes, I did air guitar to Bryan Adams. Yes I was sick in someone's car. When you're sixteen and have access to a few cans of Carling it's just waiting to happen.

The reference to monkeys and Frenchman is from the town of Hartlepool, on the North East coast.

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