Shorts: A Collection

21. Thoughts on Feminism and the Future (Random)

I will make this pledge right now: I will not stand idly by and watch my daughter grow up to feel an inferior being. There's been so much in the media lately about 'Me Too', 'He for She' and feminism and it's easy to sit back and think, they'll change the laws and people will be forced to follow.

No. Laws can change but people can't be. Laws are enforced and that's why people follow them, usually begrudgingly. So that's why we all have a responsibility to the people in our lives- we have a better chance of positively changing attitudes by our own example. I don't mean arbitrarily preaching to anyone who'll listen, rather, using your attitude at work or your manner talking to your friends and family or your treatment of strangers to start people thinking.

I am more keenly aware of my social responsibility since having my baby. I am conscious she is in a world where she'll be told what to wear and forced to behave in a 'befitting' manner. As a female she'll be sexualised and objectified and judged on her appearance at an age when she is malleable and open to suggestion. I know now that I have to use my influence as a mother to build her confidence enough so she can say "No." I need to show her that if she isn't hurting anyone or breaking laws or causing genuine offense she doesn't have to abide by societal 'norms'.

She wants to sing aloud in shops? Why not. She wants to wear a tutu and black lipstick? Sweet. She wants to work as a brickie or a make up artist or football coach or a bra fitter? Cool. The point is she needs to know when to ask why. Why is it necessary to wear a skirt below her knee? Why should she not speak up if someone is trying to belittle her? Why would she be told how to be friends?

That being said common sense is required. I wouldn't want her booling into a potentially dangerous situation just because she doesn't feel scared- after all a little fear is healthy and keeps things in perspective.

I just want to raise my daughter to be a full and complete person, without fear or apology for her choices. I hope she can be rational and calm and reasonable in her life and that she can have plenty of fun. She can pick whatever path she would like as long as she is safe and healthy and happy.

It's hard having someone you love so much. You want so much for them and yet you don't want to control them; you want them to be free but also close enough so you can keep them safe. You love them beyond all expression yet you fear so much all the time. I just want her to be happy.