Scarlett

30 - Carson

Carson's POV:

My wife was a pretty remarkable person. Our life together - the life we had built together was amazing. Over 22 years this woman had been in my life and after over 22 years together I knew her so god damn well - even better than she even knew herself.
Watching her today - watching her right now comforting our son - watching her these past two weeks - seeing her stand tall and be strong for every single person around her, watching her keep her emotions from over flowing in front of her mother, holding herself together in front of our kids, even when she volunteered to be the one to talk to Jackson she never hesitated - she stood tall - head up, back straight and off she went.
It was all a front though - yes she was strong - yes she was an amazing woman but fuck she had just lost her father and yes for those of you that are thinking - well he was 87 years old that's a pretty good innings - but if you knew they guy - if you saw him the day before he passed away - you would never have guessed it.
I watched her break when her Mum called her that morning, I picked her up from the floor, comforted her as best I could, I cried with her and held her hand tightly in my own as we told our children - I didn't even let her go when she fell to her knees in front of Logan who had taken it the hardest out of all the kids - he was the eldest - the closest with Hunter and I think he was always Hunters favourite.
I wasn't going to tell her to move on - I was going to allow her and all my kids all the time in the world they needed. Grief was different for everyone there were no time limits on when we would start to feel better or when things would seem more normal - whatever normal would be now.
Scarlett and I had always wanted our families to be close, had always ensured our kids had a close relationship with their grandparents on both sides as well as aunts, uncles and cousins and we had definitely succeeded.

Two weeks had passed since Hunter died - and today had been the first day we had been able to stay at home. Seb and Kira had moved in with Lily and for the first time in two weeks the seven of us were able to spend the whole day just us together in our home.
I watched from my seat on the patio as she held Logan so very tightly, he slowly lifted his head and looked at her - and smiled as she brushed his dark hair off his forehead. God that kid looked every bit like his late Grandfather just without the tattoos. It hadn't been his thing - although recently he had been talking about getting one in memory of Hunter. The remainder of our tribe was already in bed though not necessarily sleeping. For the first time in two weeks did I feel a sense of calmness I had been missing - with all my children, my wife under the one roof - it was just right, I was so incredibly proud of the family Scarlett and I had made, the gorgeous humans we were raising together.
Logan stood tall and solid against his mother, he was taller than her. Everything about him screamed he was a Stilton - except for the way he played football - that was the Cage on him. He was good - really good. Better than I was at his age and if he wanted it he would have a strong career in the sport.
Mya I had no doubt would right now still be awake - wrapped up in some fantasy novel on her kindle - her way of coping was to lose herself in a different reality and her love of reading was her escape. She was 14 going on 25 and the thought of her discovering boys and choosing them over books made my heart pound heavily in my chest. She was an absolutely gorgeous girl inside and out but sometimes her temper got the better of her.
Carter was more of a physical kid - and even at 13 he was a miniature version of me. He spent his time working out - whether it be in the gym running on the treadmill, doing laps in the pool or trying to coax his brothers into a game of basketball as long as he was active and moving he was fine. He would be sleeping right now - his alarm probably set for 5am tomorrow morning to get in an early run with Logan and Deacon before we headed to Lily's place for family brunch - a tradition that the entire family was extremely adamant would continue.
Deacon and Zeke would be hold up together in one of their rooms. Even with their 3 year ago gap they were insanely close. At 10 and 7 they were polar opposites in absolutely everything but the closest out of all our children.
Deacon was athletic - like his older brothers he loved running but his sport of choice was soccer. Deac was also the only one of my boys who had any resemblance to his mother, skin, eyes, hair - She was all through him.
Zeke was our musical child - give him an instrument he'd find a way to make it sound good. He had wanted guitar lessons from the age of 4 - but lately had been asking continuously for drums. The two of them had always been close though over the past two weeks they had taken comfort in staying by each other's side constantly, at night we would find them sharing a bed, by morning one of them would be kicked onto the floor.

"You ok sitting here old man, watching us like a stalker?" Logan stood directly in front of me, half grin on his face. It was so hard to believe sometimes this young man was the same kid who wouldn't want to let me go when I was travelling with football

"I'm always watching you kid - you doin ok?"

"I'm Better, it just sucks you know"

"I know Loges, it will get better little bits at a time it just takes time, you need me to do anything for you?"

"Nah, thanks Dad"

I stood, pulling my eldest son against me and taking a small amount of satisfaction that at 17 years old he would still let me hug him without pushing me away - he didn't quite have me on height so he rested his forehead on my shoulder.

"I Love you Loges"

"I Love you to Dad" he pulled away "night"

"Night buddy"

"Is it my turn now?"

"Do you even need to ask beautiful?"

My gorgeous wife stepped into me, her hands pressed against my chest as I wrapped my arms around her. Fuck I had always loved the way she moulded herself to me.

"How you doing baby?"

"I'm ok Cage"

"Really?"

She sighed, rubbing her face against the fabric of my t-shirt.

"I think so - I hate that he's not here, I hate that he won't be at family dinners or watch our kids get married and have babies, but I don't want to be sad anymore Cage - he wouldn't want me to be sad"

I tightened my hold on her,

"He'd want me to get out of bed every morning and continue living my life - with you" I was already watching her when her eyes met mine, "I love you Cage, and I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through these past two weeks without you"

"I fucking love you Lettie, and I'll always be by your side, you'll never have to go through these things alone"

I could feel her fingers tightening the grip they held my shirt. Her body pressing even closer to my own.

"All this time Cage and I still love watching you with our kids"

I pulled away from her slightly to meet her eyes with mine, raising my brows.

"Remind me Carson, why we stopped at Zeke?"

I laughed at her question - the actual answer was not the one she was going for today. Today she wanted to smile.

"Do you remember Zeke as a baby Lettie - he was horrible"

She gasped in shock though her eyes were crinkled in the corner as she did a horrible job at hiding the grin on her face, the actual reason we stopped was more physical - her pregnancy with Zeke took an enormous toll on her body, and even the doctor recommended we call it a day after he was born.

"My babies could never be horrible - you take that back Carson Cage"

"Nope" I laughed "I don't think we slept for 6 months after he was born, and every time he'd cry I swear I could actually see your heart break into pieces"

"He really did have the most horrible cry didn't he" She giggled "Like he was in such pain"

"He was always meant to be the youngest Lettie - no one could take that away from him - plus there are other benefits to not having any babies in the house you know" I pushed her dark hair off her shoulder and trailed kissed down her neck and across her collarbone, "Do you need me to remind you baby?"

"No Cage" she groaned "I would much prefer you to show me".