Scarlett

32 - Scarlett

Scarlett's POV:

I had known, from the moment I stepped foot into the pool house to comfort him the day we had buried my Father - I'd known this was coming.
I known that losing the man he had looked up to for almost his entire life would make his mind work overtime, that this would change things for him, things he thought he could keep hidden - things he thought he could stand by and just watch happen in front of him, but not now, losing Dad - I just knew it would change everything.
And now here I stand - in the den at my parents place during our Sunday morning family brunch - I stood face to face with the man who I once thought was my entire future, I stood watching him try and hold himself together as explained his need to come clean, telling me it was finally time to tell the truth to my little girl - to our 14 year old daughter.

"You have to let this happen Scarlett, she deserves to know the truth, we have hidden this from her for so fucking long and yes, maybe it was the best decision for us at the time - and I know that Carson has been an incredible father to her, a father that I could never have hoped to be, but things are so different now and I" he paused his eyes wrinkling in the corners as concern filled his face - he was still so very handsome.

"Jackson" I started, his eyes not leaving mine as he took steps forward - closing the distance between us and grabbing my hands in his.

"Just think about this Scar, please - I'm begging you. I can't have him disappointed in me" I felt tears well in my eyes as I watched his fall down his cheeks "He would never, ever have walked away from his family, and I know Scar - that he would want me to at least try"

"Jackson"

"Please, please don't shut me out Scar - I'm begging you, l know I've broken and ruined a lot of things in my life - and that you were always the one seemed to be the one that ended up the most hurt but Scarlett things are different now, I'm different now and I would never do anything to hurt my daughter - I would never do anything to hurt the child you and I made. I'm begging you Scar - please. I want to do this, I want to be a man that makes your Dad proud, I want to be a man that our daughter is happy to know as her father, I want to be the man I should have been for you"

It broke me, his final heart felt speech pushed me over the edge. I could feel every bit of emotion from him through his words and it cut me. My body trembled as tears fell freely and I didn't stop him or even try and fight just a little bit when he pulled me into his arms.

"Baby, I didn't want to make you cry and I promise I'm not doing any of this to hurt you. I love you Scarlett I always have"

He held me so tightly, whispering softly in my ear promises that everything would be ok and that he would do his best to make sure Mya would be looked after in every way, that he would protect her and love her. And I held onto him just as tightly - taking in every single word he said.
It's funny how things change - I believe there was a time in my life that hearing these words from him, his promise to love and care for our daughter - promising to always be there for her would have made me insanely jealous of the thought he couldn't do the same, that he wouldn't make the same promise to me, now my heart was breaking - but this time it was for Carson - because if I agreed to this - this time I wouldn't be the one to get hurt the most, this time it would be hurting him, and our baby girl.

"Scar, talk to me, what are you thinking"

I pulled away from the warmth of his chest, meeting his gaze,

"I need to talk this through with Carson" I kept going before he could interrupt me "He's her father Jackson - he has raised her, he has loved her from the moment he knew she existed, every first she's ever had - every scraped knee, every fight with her friends, he's the one that's been there for her, that has tucked her into bed every night, been there for her every single day and he needs to be a part of this."

"He doesn't need to agree to this Scarlett"

"That's what you think Jackson, you are very wrong. Yes - legally Mya is your daughter - by blood she is your daughter but you also need to understand you are talking about a man who has raised your daughter as his own with no hesitation, so yes, he has he has as much say in this as we do Jackson"

"Ok"

"Ok?"

"Yeah Scar" he shrugged "I get it - talk to him. I want us to be able to do this together"

I nodded.

"Talk to Carson, let me know. I'll work with you guys about how we do this. Ill do anything you think will make this easier on her."

"Where's Shay on all this Jackson?, Does she know what your in here talking to me about?"

"Yeah, she knows" he smiles "she's not going to try and play Mummy to her Scar if that's what your worried about, she has no intention of trying to be Mya's mother"

"It's not, just wanted to make sure you guys have talked this through as well Jax, Shay's a good person"

"Yeah"

He kissed my cheek, using both hands he wiped the remaining tears from my face. Smilingly slightly at me before he walked away.
Even the idea of telling Carson this conversation had taken place, explaining to him what Jackson wanted - it killed me. The lives we had built for ourselves - the strength of our family - I had to hold onto the hope that we were strong enough to keep this from tearing everything apart.