Scarlett

20 - Jackson

Jax's POV:

I had almost forgotten how great it was to celebrate Christmas with Lily - both her and Scarlett loved Christmas and always made a massive deal about it - everything from the tree to the decorations, the food and the presents had to be perfect and believe me this year was no exception.
The house was definitely quieter though - the last Christmas I had with them Logan had only been two and and he was so friggin excited, I think having him around made everyone else's Christmas spirit even higher. Not this year though - this year Scarlett was with Carson's family - her Dad said it was due to Carson's youngest sister just having a baby - though a part of me wonders if it has anything to do with our last conversation the morning after Seb and Kira's wedding and Scarlett wanting to avoid me.
Even at work she has managed to avoid me - any communication between us was done via email or text and the days she was in the office she managed to avoid any situation requiring us to be in the same room. It made my mind wonder what on earth she would have told me that she was convinced would have made me stay.

I think Lily was kind of disappointed I hadn't proposed to Shay on Christmas Day but I'd been there and done that and Shay understood marriage was not in my future - kids were not a part of my future, I had meant what I told Scarlett that day - the only woman I could ever have married was her, she would be the only woman I would ever want to raise kids with.
Shay tells me she's ok with the no marriage no kids thing and I'm pretty sure that given her career choice that it was never even on her radar anyway.

We ended up staying the night as Hunter and Lily's - Shay and Kira has ended up getting into Hunter's wine cellar so Seb and I cracked a bottle of 18 year old Macallan single malt scotch - and that's how I ended up here, laying on the bed in my old room at Hunter and Lily's house, scrolling through social media.
Shay was in the bath and Seb had dragged Kira to his bedroom around an hour ago - they were clearly still in the honeymoon faze and I honestly didn't think it would be too long before they would be making a baby announcement.

Scarlett looked genuinely happy in the photos she had put up, Carson was with her in every single one of them and they were laughing or smiling at each other or their kids. She was wearing a fitted white long sleeve dress that stopped at her knees with knee high Christmas stockings - the dress showed her baby belly and in several photos Carson was caressing the bump lovingly - it made me sick and yep completely fucking jealous.

"They look happy" Shay laid on the bed, resting her head on my chest positioning herself so she could see the pictures,

"Yeah, I guess"

I went to turn the phone off but she grabbed it from me and started swiping through the photos,

"Their kids are really cute, I can't believe how much the eldest boy looks like Sebastian"

I just looked over her shoulder as she kept scrolling until she hit the one that had all of them in it, she seemed fascinated by the kids - zooming in on them individually and then on Scarlett and Carson.

"Hey Jax, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah"

"Don't get mad at me"

"Ok"

"Did you have an affair with Scarlett?"

"Yeah, you know I did - I told you remember - the night before she married Carson, I had just found out Jayne was pregnant, went to tell her and she was having cold feet" I'd never told Shay about what went down with Carson and Scarlett years ago. I'd never told her about the time I'd spent with Scarlett in the city.

"Hmmm I remember that story"

"So, why are you asking?"

Shay sighed, sitting up and turning to face me,

"When was the last time you slept with her Jax, honestly"

"It was the night before her wedding Shay"

"Jax"

"For fucks sake Shay why are you pushing this, I have already told you everything about my history with her, why are you carrying on about it"

"Because I don't believe you Jackson, that's why"

"Good for you" I stood from the bed, pulling a pair of tracksuit pants on and heading for the door,

"Jax stop, just listen to me for a minute" Shay followed me to the door,

"No Shay, fuck - you know how much talking about this frustrates me - I just don't get why you keep pressing it"

"Because Jackson, that little girl does not look like Carson and she sure as hell doesn't look like Scarlett, she looks just like you Jax" She pushed the screen in front of my face, the picture had been enlarged on Mya's face, "look at her Jackson, really look at her, it's all there, it's in those thick dark curls, it's in her clear blue eyes and those gorgeous red full shaped lips"

I studied the little girl in the picture, Shay was 100 % right - it was all there - right in front of me, honestly I don't know how I could have missed it before, the eyes, the lips, the hair. It sent my brain into overdrive - the conversation I'd had with Scar that morning at her parents, the thing she needed to tell me, the thing that she knew would make stay, holy fucking shit.

"Jackson"

"Shay, she's - she's"

"Jackson"

I shook my head, not taking my eyes off the picture of the beautiful little girl that, they, NO - just no,

"Jax, is it possible?"

"Yes, yes it's possible" I sighed, running my hand over my face I took the phone from Shay, still not looking away from the picture on the screen, "the day she walked in on Carson sleeping with that woman she called me, I dropped everything to get to her and"

"You slept with her?"

I just nodded,

"More than once?"

"Definitely more than once"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know Shay, fuck I don't even think that's what's really important right now do you?"

"I'm sorry Jackson I'm really just trying to wrap my head around all this"

"We don't know anything Shay - none of this could even be real, shit the whole family has dark hair"

"Jackson, look at that photo, that's your daughter Jackson - there is no question about it, Scarlett got pregnant that night you went to her and she had you're baby"

I knew it was true, I knew deep down everything that had happened with Scarlett, everything she had said to me the morning after Seb got married - it all added up. I had a daughter, I was a father, Scarlett had my child and I had run away from her - again.