Scarlett

41 - Carson

I said and heard a lot of things I had never even thought I'd have to say or hear over the past 48 hours, things I would never have even wished on my worst enemy, things that would have only occurred in nightmares.

Only 3 days ago I was happy, content with the life I had built, I thought we were happy - we had our forever, together with our kids, right now - that all seems like it's slipping further and further out of my reach and I'm struggling to hold on to any of it.
Isn't it funny how your whole life can change from one decision, from one action.
I had expected heartbreak that day, could almost feel it under my skin and in my bones. My heartbreak didn't happen in the way I thought it would - my world again thrown off it's axis with the knock on my front door.

I can't remember the conversation that happened, I can't remember talking to the police, I can't remember calling Lily on the way to the hospital, I can't remember Seb rushing through the doors of the emergency department at the exact same time as me - all of these memories are only stories I have been told from these people in the past couple of days.

I do however remember the waiting, I remember the silence, I remember the doctors facial expression as he walked into the waiting room and called my name, I remember him telling me she'd made it through the surgery, I remember him telling me she had to be monitored closely for the next 24 hours and I remember him telling me I could wait with her - immediate family only and no more than 2 people at a time.

And I'll never forget the way she looked when I walked into the hospital room. She was pale - her skin almost a translucent grey, her eyes closed and there were cords everywhere, attached to her chest, her finger, and breathing tubes down her nose.

The doctor followed me into the room - waited for me as I took my place next to my gorgeous wife, brushing the hair out of her face, softly kissing her lips I told her I loved her I took her hand in mine and sat by her bed.
That's when he started, The Dr rattled off a list of injuries like he was reciting a shopping list - I never took my eyes of Scarlett as he went on,
Possible concussion, ruptured spleen, fractured Tibia, 3 broken ribs on one side, and numerous cuts and abrasions across her whole body, her arms, legs and face - some severe enough they required gluing together - one significantly bad enough stretched across her right cheek and he mentioned that plastic surgery may been an option, I heard him say significant blood loss and blood transfusion- the impact of the crash threw her entire body forward, straight through the glass windscreen before she was thrown 3 feet through the air and landed on the gravel road.

I heard every word he said. I heard him tell me she was lucky, that we should be thankful for the people that helped her, that it could have been so much worse. I heard him tell me she was lucky to be alive.

I broke eye contact long enough to thank the Doctor. He nodded his head and smiled softly at me - he gave my shoulder a tight squeeze before leaving me with the parting words - that she was breathing on her own though it was shallow hence the breathing tubes assisting her and she would wake up when she was ready, in her own time.

"Can I do anything for you brother?" Seb stood on the opposite side of the bed, his gaze locked onto his sister. "Fuck" he muttered under his breath,

"Is Lily getting the kids?"

"Yeah, she has them. She hasn't mentioned anything to any of them. Kira has taken Carlton and Declan to football training - I guess she wanted to give them something normal to do until we figure out which way you want to do this"

I nodded, both relieved and terrified that this was all up to me. Shit - Lettie and I had always dealt with this serious stuff together.

"Mum called your parents too Carson and let them know what had happened, they are going to fly out - you are going to need help once you get her home"

I nodded, I still couldn't take my eyes off my wife,

"Did you talk to the cops?"

"Yeah" Seb stalled, his voice was so soft I could barely hear him which dragged my attention to him, he ran a hand over his face before meeting my gaze. "It was pretty bad Carson, it was a Dodge Ram that hit her - apparently the guy driving had kids that were arguing in the back seat and turned around to stop them fighting - he missed the stop sign, there were no break marks from Scarlett's car though so something must have distracted her enough that she didn't see him"

"Is the other driver, is he ok? His kids?"

"Kids are fine Carson, he has a broken arm and a possible concussion. Scarlett copped the worst of it"

"I thought she was going to leave me?" I whispered, turning back to look at her.

"What? Why?" Seb paused and took a step closer, "Jackson?"

I nodded,

"I hadn't seen her since the day she went looking for him, she had spent the night with him in his hotel room, I called her this morning, told her we needed to talk - she was coming to see me Seb, I was the one who begged her to come home"

Seb rounded the bed and knelt in front of me, his body kind of twisted as he grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him

"Stop this now Carson, you did not cause this you understand and that woman, my sister - she loves you"

"She loves him too"

"Cage" Seb groaned "I love Jackson like a brother, but he is a mess - he always has been. My parents they tried to do what they could to help him and as far as his work life goes - yeah he has done well - but personally - shit Carson he is fucked up, and he will always be the same. He has loved her since we were teenagers - he was crazy to think he could hide it, he has also hurt her more times than I can count, and as much as I love him - he is not the man for her - You are the man for her - you always have been"

"Maybe, I just"

"Dad knew it too"

"What?"

"Dad, he knew Jackson would never be right for her, that he could only hurt her"

"But at your wedding, he told her"

"I know what he told her, that wasn't a reflection on you Carson, that was something from his own past."

I waited for Seb to continue, he sighed

"Apparently Mum's mother kept her hidden from her real Dad for years, she didn't have a relationship with her father until she was 7 or 8 years old"

"Shit, I never knew"

"Nope, but when Dad figured out the truth about Mya, I guess it kind of hit him hard - but he also warned Jackson to leave things where they were, that if he couldn't be the best man for her he needed to leave her alone. Dad knew you were the man for his daughter Carson - he never doubted you"

"I don't want to lose her Seb, she is my whole world"

"You guys have a long road in front of you, she's going to need time to recover - we will all help you Carson - but home with you is where she needs to be"

It had only been since Seb had started dating Kira that we had become close, and at that moment I was truly thankful for our friendship, I had needed to hear everything he had just told me, I had no doubt the road in front of us would be hard, but I would do it with her - I would do it for her.
I thought I had lost her to another man, then I was told I might lose her forever - but somehow, someone somewhere was giving us one more shot and I'll be damned if I'm letting it slip through my fingers.
I am Carson Cage and I will fight for my wife, I will fight for my family. I'm not letting them go - not letting her go, I fucking love her and I am meant to spend everyday of the rest of our lives right by her side.